The Rogue Jedi
by Viceroy
Summary: Xanatos and Obi-wan have survived the rigors of childbearing, now 6 years later how are they handling the rigors of parenthood. What strange events are occuring to bring them back to Coruscant,, back to the danger at the temple. slash. Mpreg
1. Where Evil Grows

Hi, folks...this is my little piece so pay attention!!!! If you are not comfortable with the idea of male/male relationships, then please flee now while you can. Also this fic will eventually be a mpreg (guys having kids)

If this freaks you out, once again please, head for the exit...now!.

Flames will be accepted as everyone has the right to their opnion, but please don't say I didn't give you a warning. 

  
  


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The Rogue Jedi

  
  
  
  


Prologue- Where evil grows 

  
  
  
  


The sleek silver ship past through the darkness of space silently , lights blinked on and off , as it flew closer to it's destination.

Inside the transport , a quiet calm was in the air , accept for the occasional pilot the vessels inhabitants were all sleeping peacefully.

Or so one would assume.

Pilots, servants, droids ,maidens ,the queen herself a bumbling Gun gun and a boy all slept soundly.

But there was one aboard the ship whom was not resting.

  
  
  
  


Obi-wan lay in the bed listening to his masters soft breathing next to him, he was sleeping very deeply and Obi-wan was glad for it.

His battle with the Sith on the hot desert planet had visibly shaken him, though he had put on a strong face, for the boy and crew, Obi-wan had caught his distress through their bond, he had sensed the anxiety , and earlier in the evening had helped his Master push it away in their meditation.

  
  


Obi-wan laid his head back down on the pillow, letting a soft sigh escape his lips , his mind was going in circles, " how very unjedi like " he thought to himself , yet it was true his thoughts swirled around in his head always ending up at the same conclusion.

Obi-wan did not trust that boy .

He had sensed a peculiar ripple in the force while he waited for his Master to return with the parts they needed , and it had only intensified as the time passed .

When Qui-gon had introduced him to Anakin , Obi-wan had felt a terror well up inside of him worse than any he had ever felt, it was all he could do to quell the feelings and fight his basic instinct to defend himself and his master.

Not that defending him would have help. Qui-gon had caught his anxiety, and when questioned about it , Obi-wan had told his master the feeling he got around the boy and the unease that he caused in him, but Qui-gon had merely waved it off "you got the jitters Obi-wan " he had said before showing the boy around the ship.

"Jitters hmph right " Obi-wan scowled looking up at the ceiling " that boy is evil!" he could feel it when around the boy it surrounded him ,clung to him, yet it was elusive , Obi-wan couldn't figure it out yet, but the nagging in his mind wouldn't be denied.

He sighed again , talking with Qui-gon about it had been useless, usually he could count on his Masters guidance or encouragement to help him when something was bothering him.

But Qui-gon didn't feel or didn't want to feel the darkness surrounding the boy, and would abruptly cut any conversation short if Obi-wan mentioned it .

Obi-wan turned to look at his master again with a sad softness in his eyes . 

For the past two days , he had barley been able to see Qui-gon and when he did it was only a matter of time before the two were auguring, about the boy .And then one or the other storming off .

"Master" he whispered , pushing Qui-gon's stray hairs from his face , he leaned over and gave his master a gentle kiss, before getting out of bed and walking over to the window .

He leaned his forehead against the glass, letting it's cool surface calm him. He gazed out at the stars wondering for the hundredth time that night why his master couldn't see what was so obvious,

Obi-wan's brow furrowed, he could feel the dark tremors of the force form here, it was like sleeping with a sith next door to him .

He inhaled deeply , he was beginning to understand Yoda's words of wisdom to him a couple years back "love's course never smooth is it "

"no" he whispered softly "no it's not "

He loved Qui-gon, they shared something few people could ever hope to understand. They had had their differences in the past, and this one would be just one more to add to the list.

He was startled as a tingling passed through him, his face became stern once again as he looked from Qui-gon to the wall behind which Anakin slept .

He looked back out the window for the distant planet of Courasant , 

"The council will see to the end of this, Master Yoda will pick up the dark presence the moment we land " Obi-wan growled his eyes darted back to the wall "Until then , I must keep an eye on him!" 

To be Continued.......

  
  
  
  


Where evil grows 

I don't like the way you smile at me 

I felt a fear that enveloped me 

And what I saw is not what others see 

  
  


I never knew where evil grew

  
  


We should have steered away from you 

I told my master to keep clear of you 

But something drew him near to you 

  
  


I never knew where evil grew

  
  


Evil grows in the dark ,where the sun it never shines 

Evil grows in cracks and holes and lives in peoples minds 

Evil grew it's part of you and now it seems to be 

That every time I look at you evil grows in me

  
  
  
  


Song by the Poppy Family 


	2. A Sad Look Deep In Your Eyes

THE ROGUE JEDI ----part 2

  
  
  
  
  
  


A Sad Look Deep In Your Eyes

  
  
  
  
  
  


Light filtered in through the windows of the space craft as it made it's way towards the landing platform.

"Landing in one hour" A voice announced over the speakers.

Qui-gon awoke to greet the day, yawning and stretching. He blinked his eyes a couple of times, to adjust to the mornings brightness before turning his attention to the smaller form sleeping peacefully next to him.

"Obi-wan?" He asked gently, stroking his lover's spiky white hair, where it lay on his chest.

"Mmmm?" Obi-wan mumbled, tucking his head under Qui-gon's neck.

Qui-gon gave a small chuckle "Come on Obi-wan, it's time to get up" He noticed Obi-wan's braid was undone, the hair spilling across his pillow. Taking it up in his hand , Qui-gon began to braid it.

"Unnn..hmmm Qui-gon..n..not ...not now.." Obi-wan groaned, clamoring under the sheets.

Qui-gon, raised an eyebrow, Obi-wan was usually an early riser, but lately he'd been extremely tired, even sleeping if his schedule would allow it. The master sighed, after they finished this mission, he'd persuade Obi-wan to go to the healers and get checked out, and if possible maybe they both could take a well earned break. But for now...there was work to be done.

"Come on Obi-wan, we have to meet with the council about Anakin."

//THE BOY!!// Obi-wan shot up from the bed , nearly knocking Qui-gon over . He grabbed his braid from his Masters hand , and quickly finished braiding it, grabbing the clip from his night stand to keep it tied. He bolted to the fresher and was dressed and standing at attention next to his master before Qui-gon had even decided what to wear.

  
  


Obi-wan waited patiently as his master got changed. He was so tired, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into bed and sleep for the rest of the day . 

//No// he thought // I'll be damned before I let a Sith walk around the temple unsupervised// 

"Mr. Qui-gon!!"

He ground his teeth in aggravation, as Anakin ran into the room.

"Hello, Ani" Qui-gon smiled ruffling the boy's hair.

"Hi Mr. Qui-gon, we're going to be landing soon right?" Anakin asked in his high whiny voice.

"Of course Ani, very soon" Qui-gon answered.

"Oh force " Obi-wan muttered under his breath " I think I'm going to be sick!"

"Obi-wan!!" Qui-gon snapped, he turned to give the padawan an annoyed glare. Obi-wan flinched slightly, before making his way over to the window.

//In a few minutes...//" Obi-wan thought // we'll be landing in a few minutes then....then // he swayed slightly at the window as the strange tingling went through his body again. "Ooohhh"

he gave a low moan, letting his face press against the glass.

"Obi-wan? " Qui-gon looked over to his padawan, the young man had gone pale all of a sudden.

"Ohhh....I think I am gonna be sick!!" He ran from the window , barely making it to the fresher in time.

"Obi-wan!' Qui-gon followed in suit. He rested his hands on his students shoulders as he heaved.

"Perhaps we should see the healers when we arrive.

"No!' Obi-wan swung to face him "No...I'm fine Master...it's just all this excitement ...I'm fine really" he picked himself up off the floor, and straightened his tunic "see?"

Qui-gon looked uncertain for a moment. "Are you sure? Obi-wan your not keeping something from me are you?"

Obi-wan looked up at his Maters loving, and concerned gaze. 

".....Actually Master there is something I've been trying to tell you. It's..."

"Mister Qui-gon!" Anakin's high voice screeched. 

Anakin, what is it?" Qui-gon turned from the door to find the boy.

Obi-wan watched him go, standing alone in their quarters he let the hurt wash over him, 

" It's nothing Master.......obviously !!" He spoke to himself. Slamming up his shields tightly, he went to get his things ready for landing.

  
  


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"Obi-wan , meet us back here in an hour. We have a meeting with the council." Qui-gon said as his apprentice strode past him in the hanger bay.

Obi-wan gave a frosty look before reluctancy replying "yes Master." he continued a few feet, before , his Masters words hit him " But where are you going? Aren't you going to unpack?" Obi-wan looked at him, surely his Master was tired.

"Yes a little later perhaps. Right now I'm going to show Anakin around, the area"

"I'll come too" Obi-wan quickly cut in.

"No Obi-wan, I'd like to show him alone. And besides" he added, taking Obi-wan off to one side " I think maybe you should rest a bit. You seem to be more taxed than usual after our mission."

"I'm fine " Obi-wan insisted.

""I know the heat bothers you Obi-wan, and that planet had more than it's share,...I want you to rest" Qui-gon, patted his shoulder.

Obi-wan kept his face neutral, but inside his heart was screaming, for the release, to tell Qui-gon the truth. But he knew he would have no opportunity here and now to tell him. And it would do no good to disobey, what Qui-gon was giving as a hidden order.

"Yes, Master...I think I will rest after I say hello to Bant," he replied. 

"Good, I'll see you later then" he gave Obi-wan a light kiss, and for a moment Obi-wan was washed in happiness again."Come on Ani" Qui-gon called starting down the hallway.

"Unnnggg" Any good feelings he'd had were destroyed when the little mutant came running down the ramp.

Obi-wan watched with a feeling of unease. He had hoped to keep an eye on the mini sith. But if he followed now his Master would get suspicious. Obi-wan finally resigned himself to looking for Bant, //he couldn't do much in the temple, surrounded by jedi could he? //

Obi-wan decided to put it in the back of his mind for now, he had one hour to find his friend. And he defiantly needed her help. His problems had taken an unexpected detour with the boy. He hoped Bant, would be able to help him sort things out.

  
  


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"Obi-wan!" Bant cried when she caught sight of her friend. Running up from the lake she embraced him in a damp hug.

"Hey Bant, how are you?" Obi-wan tried half heartedly to be happy. "It's...been awhile hasn't it?"

And failed miserably.

"Obi-wan what's wrong?" She asked her troubled friend.

He sighed, leave it to Bant, to figure him out right away.

"Nothing................." Obi-wan realized lying wasn't going to get him anywhere. And he needed Bant's help desperately " ...everything.." he said softly. 

The young Mon Calamarian watched her friend closely , she could see he was struggling with some inner turmoil. She wanted to help him.

"Did you tell Qui-gon about ....you know?"

"I wanted to Bant....I tried...but the mission went array , and then we were fighting, and....."

Bant put a hand on his shoulder as he stared out across the lake. "He found a boy....the chosen one" Obi-wan growled.

"And..your jealous?"

"What no...no........well..maybe a little..NO! It's not that Bant. He's evil, I can feel a darkness when I'm around him......he scares me" Obi-wan confessed.

"Have you told your Master,?" She asked him.

"That's the whole problem my Master is fascinated with him. He's barely said two words to me that weren't absolutely necessary the past 3 days." Obi-wan let his shoulders slump down, and Bant could see how worn out he was. " I just don't know what to do.....Bant.....help me" he had a pleading look in his face, 

// This is really bothering him, // she thought, as she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Well first things first. And it seems that you have a rather big bit of news to tell your Master."

"Yes...but the question is how?" Obi-wan shrugged. "I can't really tell him in the middle of a battle or a negotiation. And I don't really want to reveal it in front of the boy."

"Still, he should know, and the sooner the better." She stated.

"I hate it when you make sense," he gave her a week smile. " I ...It's just not the kinda thing that you just suddenly say. Oh goodnight Qui-gon, I love you so much, by the way I'm pregnant !!" Obi-wan covered his face with his hands. "I'm scared, Bant"

"Easy Obi-wan," She soothed.

"But what if the council, allows him to stay Bant? In a couple months I'll be helpless, he could attack me and I wouldn't be able to stop him!!!"

"Obi-wan calm down..I'm sure Master Yoda won't let a boy so obviously in tune to the dark side stay in the temple." she assured her troubled friend.

"I....I hope not..." Obi-wan wiped his tears away. " I'm sorry Bant...but I must go. Qui-gon and I are meeting with the council about the boy. I cannot be late."

Bant nodded, feeling for her friend. Obi-wan looked dead on his feet. But as always he was thinking of others first. She hoped for his sake that Qui-gon listen to him. Her friend had an uncanny ability to see the future and sense trouble. And he'd proven in the past to be seldom wrong.

She watched him make his way up from the pond. Then suddenly raced up to him and gave him a powerful hug.

"Hey," Obi-wan laughed "what was that for?"

"I...I don't know..." She frowned, as a strange feeling went through her.

"Bant?...are you ok?" Obi-an asked.

"Yes.." She smiled shaking the feeling from her mind. "You should get going you'll be late."

"Ya..I guess"

And Obi-wan.......you should tell him.."

I will Bant. Tonight when we're alone" he nodded. "Thank you, you're a true friend as always. Goodbye Bant."

"Goodbye, ...Obi-wan" She called. as the strange feeling hit her again. It felt like a great sadness...a void almost and it was directed at Obi-wan. Like she would never see him again.

Her goodbye had been laced with emotion, as though it would be the last time she would ever get to speak to him.

She sat on the grass by the pond, thinking these feelings over.

  
  


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Qui-gon was waiting at the council doors when Obi-wan arrived.

// Oh surprise, surprise, the little Sith is here with him.// Obi-wan grimaced, swallowing his revolution, and making his way into the room behind them.

Qui-gon briefed the council, of the details of the mission, and of the attack on the Queen, and finally on the finding of the boy. 

Obi-wan watched the assembled jedi carefully, and just as he had predicated, Yoda noticed something peculiar about the child immediately. "Much fear I sense in you" the small master, stated, to Anakin.

Obi-wan watched as Anakin, merely stared back, fiercely. Meeting and holding the elderly masters gaze. He felt a small jolt of fear go through him, the boy was bold, and this boldness was unnerving to him. Most any being, felt a sense of awe near Master Yoda , and were humbled by his presence, would bow and show their respect. But Anakin's gaze was like that of a challenger summing up his competition. He didn't seem worried.

He held his breath waiting for Yoda to speak, when much to his surprise Qui-gon spoke up.

"I wish to train him, I feel he is the chosen one"

"A padawan you already have" Yoda stated.

"Obi-wan is ready to face the trails, this boy needs guidance " Qui-gon argued.

Obi-wan almost gasped, he was so startled. As it was he went three shades paler.

// Qui-gon just threw me away......just like that ..//

"NO, we forbid you to train this boy" Mace replied calmly, his gaze like slate. " Do so and you are going against the council"

"It won't be the first time!!" Qui-gon threatened.

"Than you do so breaking the code of the jedi" Yoda said sadly.

Qui-gon bowed solemnly to his master before igniting his light saber. "If I must fight for the right to train this boy , then I will do so !"

Obi-wan gasped, but his horror quickly turned to anguish as, following the code drew his own saber and stood to protect the small Master, from Qui-gon. 

"Qui-gon" He choked, unable to keep the hurt from his voice. " I can not allow you to carry out on your actions please remove yourself or....fight" Obi-wan felt numb reciting the verse, he had learned all his life. The one for a jedi who breeched the council, and turned his saber against his own. He never thought he would be standing there, holding his blade to defend against his Master. He felt as though his world had just exploded. His sadness was overpowering him, along with a burning rage, deep in his heart. He knew jedi were not to feel such things but he couldn't stop the smoldering hurt inside him. // Qui-gon threw me away !! He threw our whole relationship away !! // the snowy haired man looked up into the face of his Master, giving him a hard cold stare. // And to do this !!!! How Dare he do this !!! He forced he to raise my saber against him !!! //

Qui-gon caught the look of anger in Obi-wan's eyes, he knew his decision was a hasty one, and that an explanation was in order. He'd been hoping to speak with Obi-wan privately before they met with the council, but alas it had not played out that way. And looking in to Obi-wan's eyes he felt he'd have a good deal of explaining to do when this was over.

He made a movement to speak but was cut off by Yoda.

"A decision about the boy, reached we have , forbidden to train he is Qui-gon" The old Master gave Qui-gon a strong look.

"Then I am sorry Master," Qui-gon bowed "I must once again break the code,.. This boy must be trained."

"Speak of this again we will Qui-gon, train if you must, but do so with out the council's approval you are" Yoda warned him before calling the meeting to a close.

The council filed out of the chamber, along with Obi-wan, Qui-gon, and Anakin.

Padme , one of the Queen's handmaiden's was waiting for them. Anakin bounced happily to her side.

"The Queen's ship will be leaving shortly" she announced.

"We'll be along " Qui-gon assured her.

"May I go with Padme, Mr. Qui-gon?" Anakin asked, tugging on the jedi's large tunic.

"Of course Ani, go ahead" Qui-gon watched the boy leave with the Queen's handmaiden. He then turned to speak with Obi-wan about the events that had just taken place. He had sensed a deep hurt in his loved one's bond, one he certainly didn't mean to cause him. "Obi-wan..?" he looked both ways around him, but the hallway was empty.

  
  


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Obi-wan raced down the center ramp way, plunging headlong into the violent fray. He and his Master had been battling the Sith in the melting pits now for almost an hour. And it had been going anything but fine. The Sith they faced, a red and black tattooed monstrosity , was a challenge , even against the two of them.

Obi-wan had tried his best to keep up with the frenzied tide of battle, but had found himself lagging behind and finally had been caught behind a laser wall, while his Master continued facing the Sith alone.

Then the walls finally opened. In their brief down time Obi-wan raced forward, clearing the barrier before the laser went back on, and leaping boldly to face the Sith Lord.

The Sith turned to regard his new challenger. Never for a moment forgetting his unfinished quarrel with, the other.

But being a Sith, he took an opportunity fair or not , when he saw it. 

And he saw it when Qui-gon attempted to attack him while his back was turned.

Not taking his eyes off of Obi-wan he slammed his saber backwards, catching Qui-gon with a strong blow to the head, with the butt of his saber.

The dark lord smiled at the unconscious jedi at his feet, allowing himself a laugh before, raising his saber for the killing strike.

It was a strike that was never made as Obi-wan cut him off at the last moment , with a wraith and fury of a hundred jedi.

He had realized Qui-gon was unconscious when he felt their bond go silent. Now it was his turn. He was on his own

He dove into the air after the Sith and began the deadly dance were Qui-gon had left off.

Almost immediately he was driven back, the sith was very skilled in combat. For a brief moment Obi-wan felt a surge of terror go through him, as he realized what he was up against. But he quickly stomped his emotions down, he needed his wits to win this, breathing deeply he took stance and readied himself for a battle to the death.

  
  


The sith started forward, bringing his double bladed saber down to graze a long nasty wound into Obi-wan's thigh. Obi-wan leaped away ignoring the pain, and brought his blade up blocking another strike from the sith intended to take off his head.

// this guy is playing for keeps // Obi-wan thought, gritting his teeth, as sweat trickled down his brow. They stood facing each other.

The sith was indeed a very well conditioned fighter, even after the long battle he had yet to show any sign of tiring. Unlike his opponent. 

Obi-wan stood a few feet from his foe, his blade still held in a defensive position. He tried to steady his erratic breathing, hoping the sith wouldn't notice his weakness.

// This is not good,...I'm already winded.....//he noted. He forced his body to obey him, pushing his aching muscles to keep going just a little longer. They groaned in compliance. Obi-wan almost groaned with them, he was exhausted, and ready to drop. 

Numerous burns and slashes covered his body, were he stood, as a shield between his Master and the sith. He wouldn't let his Master down.

He tensed as he saw the Dark lord crouch readying for an attack. The sith jumped forward and once more their sabers clashed, diving and dancing in a dizzying spiral.

Obi-wan brought his saber down onto the center of the sith's blade severing it in two.

// At least now we have an even match // he thought.

The sith glared at his broken weapon, then at Obi-wan. He snarled at the jedi, and promptly kicked him in the guts, knocking him over the egde of the pit.

Obi-wan winced at the pain as he held on to the small bolt he'd grabbed.

// The baby!!! // Obi-wan's mind screamed. He looked up to see the sith leering at him.

// Qui-gon....my friends...my child.....I've failed....I've failed you all...// he felt tears sting his eyes.

"Foolish jedi" the sith sneered at him, in an amused tone. He padded back and forth, as if waiting to watch Obi-wan fall to his doom. When it appeared that the jedi would take his time in dying however, the sith decided to help him along. He laughed gleefully as he stomped on Obi-wan's hands. "I'll enjoy watching you die. Then I'll kill your Master !!" he shouted.

Obi-wan blinked back the pain. He refused to give the Sith bastard the joy of seeing him cry.

Instead he glanced sadly over to his Master // If only I could have saved you // 

It was then that he saw his Masters light saber, laying off to the side. Suddenly he felt a new strength rise in him. He would fight , he would win. This evil sith was not going to have him, his child or his Master.

The force flowed through him as he called the light saber to his hand. He felt himself lift from the bolt and sail through the air, up and over the head of his assailant. 

The sith turned with a perplexed look of awe on his face, before hearing the deadly hum of a white hot blade on flesh and falling dead into the melting pit in two pieces. 

Obi-wan dropped to his knees beside his Master, letting his tears fall as he held his loved one in his arms. He had come so close to losing him but.....

"Were alright.....we..made it....we made it..." he whispered before slipping into unconsciousness.

  
  


  
  


To Be Continued ...............

  
  



	3. It Hurts To See You Cry

  
  


The Rogue Jedi----Part 3

  
  
  
  
  
  


It Hurts To See You Cry

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Hmmmm...unnn.." Obi-wan groaned softly as he opened his eyes to the soft light of the temples healing ward.

He felt slightly dizzy, but managed, with some effort, to sit up in the cot he was in. "M...Master.?" he croaked weakly, gazing around. "Master..?"

"It's ok Obi-wan," Qui-gon's soothing voice, assured him, echoing in the quiet room.

Obi-wan turned his head to see his Master, standing beside the bed next to him.

"Master...what happened ?" He asked rubbing his temple.

"You fought bravely Obi-wan, you defeated the Sith,... and saved my life" Qui-gon gave him a smile wrapping him in a gentle embrace, and kissing his brow, " I am so proud of you, my love..." Qui-gon breathed.

Obi-wan blushed he felt his chest tighten up and his heart warm, as his Master said those words,

// Master...// he mentally sighed leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Qui-gon's neck, bestowing his own kisses, on his Master's lips.

"Thank you Master.." He nodded.

"You're welcome...knight Kenobi.." Qui-gon, smiled.

"What ?......" Obi-wan gave his Master a confused look.

"I said knight Kenobi ," 

".....But, Master....I....I'm not a knight....I haven't even taken the trails....." Obi-wan stammered,

"No need to " Qui-gon beamed " I've spoken with the council. When they learned of your victory over the Sith, they were astounded, they deemed that the battle count as your trail. So...."

"So you'll be rid of me....And without going through the trails!!!" Obi-wan shouted. He felt his eyes sting with angry tears. " How could you, didn't you even think about the importance of the trails!!!!....to the way of the Jedi, to the council......t....to..me !!!!! Obi-wan cried. 

The trails were a scarce part of Jedi training, a rite of passage, one was not truly a knight until they completed them successfully. And now he would not take them...the shame was almost unbearable...

"HOW DARE YOU !!!!!" Obi-wan screamed, jumping from the bed and running for the door. Humiliation burning his cheeks red.

"Obi-wan wait...!" Qui-gon, called after him. // I thought I was helping you //

  
  


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Obi-wan viciously slammed the code to their quarters into the console, and dashed inside, before the door had even managed to open half way. He made his way to his room, stopping abruptly at the door. He felt a pang of remorse hit him, glancing over his shoulder to Qui-gon's room. Obi-wan sighed he hadn't slept in his room for almost four years now, his room was more a place to keep his stuff, books, models, etc...a place to call his if he needed some time to himself.

// right now I defiantly need some time to myself // he thought. Slowly he turned the handle and went inside.

"..w..what...!' He gasped at the small room. Everything was different... his calm tranquil room was gone. Instead there were bright new sheets on the bed, and small tunics and boots in the closet, even a light and a night shade on the desk.

"......I....." He walked in slowly, looking round the room in a daze.

His room...was......gone. He eyed a small satchel that lay in the corner at the foot of the bed.

// Anakin ! // he growled. The Sith had taken his room already. Obi-wan swallowed, taking in the bare wall and the strangeness of the room, fighting the urge to be sick again.

// It's as if I never existed...// his breath caught in his throat as he stumbled out into the common room.

"Obi-wan...Obi-wan," Qui-gon cried rushing into the room, up to his side.

"Obi.." He stopped when he saw the anger on Obi-wan's face, and noticed the door to his room ajar.

"Allow me to explain..." Qui-gon began.

"NO!!" Obi-wan spat, "Your actions have made it perfectly clear.!!!" he stalked past his Master seething.

"Obi-wan!!" Qui-gon grasped his wrist spinning him to face him again. "Please Obi-wan listen..the boy, he is the chosen one,,he.."

THE BOY, THE BOY !!! THAT'S ALL I'VE HEARD THE PAST THREE DAYS !!!!" Obi-wan screamed , his eyes flashing .

"Obi-wan !!!" Qui-gon snapped, "You will stop this at once !!!...where's your manners !!"

"I'M SICK OF HEARING ALL THIS CHOSEN ONE BULLSHIT , QUI-GON !!!"

"OBI-WAN.. SHOW SOME REASON !!!!" Qui-gon shouted back, his own fury causing him to shake, he kept his hands held at his sides clenching and unclenching them. "ANAKIN IS STAYING AND YOU WILL SHOW SOME RESPECT !!!! he snarled.

"NOT TO A DAMNED SITH I WON'T !!!" Obi-wan cried.

  
  


THWACK!!!

  
  


The next thing he knew, Obi-wan found himself looking at the world from a different angle.

He knew he'd been fighting a moment ago but, Qui-gon, the argument...they all seemed strangely far away...elusive all of a sudden. 

He shook his head, "wha...?" it took him a moment to fully realize what had just happened.

He was staring at his Master's boots.

He was lying on the floor. He winced, carefully touching his cheek and looking up at Qui-gon with sad, unbelieving eyes. "Y....y...you....you struck me...!" he gasped. Never in all his years with Qui-gon had he ever received a physical blow from his Master...never had Qui-gon ever tried to hurt him. And now his Master had just decked him to the ground.

He looked up to see a similar mask of surprise on his Master's face. One that was quickly turning to horror.

"Obi-wan !!" Qui-gon exclaimed, kneeling down and grasping his shaken apprentice's shoulders. // Oh by the force, what have I done !!! // his mind screamed. He stared in disbelief at the blood flowing down Obi-wan's face. // Is this how a noble Jedi Master solves his problems ? // he asked himself. // Is this how you treat your beloved. Beat him into submission if he doesn't agree with you..? // Qui-gon felt as though a knife had been plunged deep into his guts.

He wanted to say no, to argue the fact. But the truth was right in front of him, and as plain to see as the bruise forming on Obi-wan's delicate face. He knew Obi-wan had been upset with him, over various things during the past few days, but besides the verbal snapping, he had maintained his calm and now for him to go and do this.... Qui-gon felt sick and disgusted at himself. " Oh,..Obi-wan...I'm...sorry......I'm so sorry.."

Obi-wan shuddered, pulling away when his Master attempted to hold him close.

// How dare he !! // Obi-wan mentally cried . // I'm trying to save him, .and he does this to me !! //

Obi-wan's mind lashed out at the unfairness of it all. // He ..doesn't even know...about....about..//

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting his tears spill down them.

Qui-gon felt the knife in his guts twist, when Obi-wan began to cry. He tried once again to comfort him. " Padawan,...Obi... I'm sorry...I had no right to hurt you because your opinion did not match my own. Please I ask your forgiveness..." he pleaded. 

But as he lay his hands on the shaking shoulders, Obi-wan turned to face him with a glare of such outright hurt and misery, that had looks been able to kill, Qui-gon would have been dead on the spot.

"You...your..hand's are as cold as Ice......BUT.. YOUR HEART'S EVEN COLDER !!!"

Obi-wan screamed, ripping away from his Master's grasp and fleeing out of the room and down the temple halls.

  
  


*******************************************

  
  


// Obi-wan...where are you..? // Qui-gon wondered as he looked down at the temple garden from their chambers. He had searched the temple for hours, but Obi-wan had his shields up tight, and Qui-gon had found nothing, and had finally come back hoping he would return when he'd calmed down.

  
  


Had Obi-wan been there to see the utter wretchedness his Master felt over what had happened , then perhaps he might have thought differently about the whole affair.

  
  


"Master Qui-gon !" Anakin called, coming in from the hall, "Are you coming, you said you would have dinner with me tonight in the cafeteria.." he looked up at the Master with big blue eyes. Qui-gon, felt the ache in his heart increase, but put on a strong face of calm. //It wasn't Anakin's fault for all this.// he thought. He didn't want to appear upset in front of him, so he smiled to the youth.

"......Yes......I'm coming Ani.." Qui-gon replied, following the young boy out the door.

  
  
  
  


From his perch on the ledge Obi-wan watched as his Master, and Anakin walked out the door, heading down to the dining hall.

// He didn't even miss me..// Obi-wan noted, feeling numb as he slipped into their quarters.

// he seems ....happy with Anakin.....// his eyes took in the room noticing how it had changed, he didn't fit in the picture anymore.

// I can see , I no longer have a place in your life Qui-gon......and so I will go..// gathering a few items Obi-wan walked out the door.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


To Be Continued ......

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Shadow Walker

I know the chapter is short, but I'll get the next piece up really soon, promise.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Shadow Walker

  
  
  
  
  
  


Obi-wan ran down the hall blindly, earning stares, and insults, from several fellow students as he pushed past them. He didn't care what they said, all he cared about was getting away.

He let his legs take him as fast as they could to the hangar bay. 

Several large transports were docked, some being unload others picking up packages.

Obi-wan waited still as stone. Staying put in the shadows as he watched the various ships land and take off from the platform.

  
  


He grimaced slightly, his cheek still burned were Qui-gon had struck him. But not nearly as badly as his heart. He sighed , letting his thoughts wash over him, in an attempt to find his center of calm.

Anakin was a threat, that much he knew for sure. And Qui-gon...., he felt a stab of pain at the mere mention of his Masters name.

// Master.....Qui-gon....you..// Obi-wan felt his ire rise once more. // He wouldn't even listen to me !! Knocked me to the ground, when I pointed out what is so unmistakably obvious...damn him.....// 

"damn you..Master....NO......damn you Qui-gon !!!!"

// You don't deserve such a title from me , as I am no longer your apprentice...YOU are no longer my master.//

The young knight began to grow restless, as he watched the docking bay, forcing himself not to pace with frustration. He wanted nothing more than to go to the training room and work out his annoyance on a few unlucky training droids, or a quiet place where he could scream his heart out, pounding various objects to the consistency of jello, and imaging them to be Qui-gon's silly, stupid, thick skull.

He could almost see Qui-gon now siting with Anakin in the cafeteria laughing and joking with the boy, as he had once done with him, so short a time ago.

// I've been tossed aside for something better...// he hung his head, dipping back into the shadows as a cargo ship landed on the runway.

He turned sad eyes back towards the cafeteria . // I don't understand any of this.....why.......why the force has chosen to give me this fate.........I don't know. But I do know one thing.....// he watched with a weary gaze as the transport prepared to take off.

// I will not take another Master,........nor..lover..// he closed his eyes to stop the tears from falling. 

He gazed down at his padawan braid dangling slightly in the breeze. It would stay where it was...as a brand for all who saw it. To him it would serve as a constant remainder of his broken trust, and his broken heart.

" And to you Qui-gon" He hissed, sounding the name as a curse. "May it forever haunt you with guilt for what you've taken from me!"

Slowly, Obi-wan sunk from the shadows and crept on broad of the trembling ship just moments before it lifted off, heading into the vast reaches of space.

Quietly nestled among the various boxes and crates , Obi-wan understood his fate. He would not obtain his knighthood, as he had so dream for years. He refused to accept the title from any hand other than that of his Master. One which he knew now would never be.

He had lost his Master. And his friends, the place he called home were soon to be but a bitter memory to him. 

He was alone, completely on his own...........A rogue......

  
  


A rogue Jedi.....................................

  
  
  
  


To be continued..........


	5. That's Where I Went Wrong

That's Where I Went Wrong

  
  
  
  


From where he sat in the council room, Yoda, felt a disturbance flow through the force.

"Hmmm" The ancient Jedi Master, closed his eyes feeling as the ripples of sorrow washed over him, and listening to what the force was telling him.

"Master Yoda..?" Mace, another council member asked. He had been sitting next to him, when Yoda had suddenly gone silent. He felt the force shifting in the room, the air seemed charged,...different...something had happened. "What is it...?" 

The small alien, only muttered faintly, shaking his head. "Much pain I feel......much...sadness..I sense..." his brows knitted together in concentration.

Windu waited, sure that the old Master was going to say more, the explanation was hardly complete. 

But the old Master, stirred from his trance, and got up to leave.

"Master Yoda....?" Mace asked "What....has happened....?"

"Always in Motion the future is......always." Yoda replied.

"But.." 

"Need to meditate I do !..." The old Master interrupted, cutting Mace off . "Yes...Always changing the future is,......changed again it has..."

  
  


*********************************************************

  
  
  
  


The ship landed with a low whine on the landing strip. Pilot checking in with the landing crew, and accessing the ship. Nobody was the wiser of a stow away on broad. 

Obi-wan glanced through the grate of the air duct. The coast was clear. He jumped off the ramp to the ground and hurried quickly from the ship. He hid amongst some thick shrubs surveying the area, and getting his senses focused.

// This planet is rather remote.. // Obi-wan noted. Aside from the large expanse of dark forest, he couldn't see much in the way of a town or city...or anything at all.

// There's nothing here....// Obi-wan realized. He stepped forward, intending to get back onto the transport and wait until it landed on another planet, but ducked back down as the hulking pilot came back out of the hangar, and boarded the shuttle.

Obi-wan watched with disappointment as the ship lifted into the air and sped away into the stars.

"I guess I'm stuck here.....where ever here is..." he sighed. He really should have checked the ships navigation computer, before jumping off the ship.

"I haven't been thinking to clearly.." he confessed to himself. "Come on get your head together, Obi-wan...." he shook his white locks hoping to clear some of the clutter from his mind.

Turning towards the hangar, Obi-wan decided he might as well meet up with the locals sooner as opposed to later.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The hangar was small and run down, the door to the office hung crookedly by a single rusty hinge.

"What have I got myself into..?" he breathed. It wasn't doing him any good to just stand there and stare. So stifling a groan he pushed the door open.

All at once several pair of eyes where on him. Several rather inhospitable pairs of eyes..

Obi-wan felt his skin crawl, at some of the looks he was getting. Leering, angry....suggestive....

"Hello.." he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I'm Obi-wan Kenobi....I...un. ..was..." he back up slightly, from the intense glares, it was all to obvious they didn't care who he was, or what questions he had to ask .

One of the group, a large rugged humanoid stepped forward, "We don't like visitors on this world.." he hissed

Obi-wan took a step back, from the creature, as his foul breath invaded his lungs. "I..I assure you it was a mistake,.." he said. "If you would tell me when the next ship is due, I will go, and all problems will be solved.

The large alien coaked his head, "Hmmm, I don't know... why should we let you go.....you could be a spy. "

//Oh Force...// Obi-wan sighed // Spying on what ?? //

"I'm not a spy..." 

"No....then why you here...?" The alien gestured "What's here for you....?"

"I'd rather not talk about it..." Obi-wan mumbled as pain seeped into his heart once more.

"WELL I SAY WE ARE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT !!" the large alien roared.

Obi-wan almost jumped out of his skin, at the alien's outburst. He glanced at the other two glaring at him, as he was roughly thrown into a chair.

He hoped this talk would be civil. Though looking at the group didn't quell his fears.

// I'm sure this well be fine, just fine...they just want to have a little chat,.... no problem...unless of course their idea of a pleasant chat might involve ripping my still beating heart from my chest and eating it !!!!//

Obi-wan gulped. He had to get out of here.

Using his force ability Obi-wan concentrated on a small vibro blade on one of the tables. Keeping his gaze steady he slowly rise the blade into the air to hover above the heads of his captors. 

"Ahhhghghr!!!! Look !!" Cried on the guards.

"A ghost...!!!....it's possessed !!!!!!" the other screamed.

The large alien ducked as the blade flew near his head, dropping to all fours and covering his face.

Obi-wan smiled thankfully. These guys weren't to bright. A simple trick seemed to do the job. He quickly jumped from the chair and raced out the door.

"Hey Get him !!!" One of the aliens roared. 

Obi-wan took off racing into the dense forest, he didn't know which way he was going and at this moment he didn't much care, so long as it was away from them. He kept running until their shouting voices no longer echoed through the trees. Exhausted he flopped down on a soft mossy glade. 

"...t....thank...g.....goodness..' he panted. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair. "What a way to start...attacked by the natives, lost in the woods...and" Obi-wan's eyes widened and he groaned "I left my pack in the bushes...Damn it !!. He got up dusting himself off.

// Well it's safe to assume that the locals are not friendly......Still .I have to get off this planet.... there must be a city a little ways from here I'm sure...." Obi-wan look one way then the other, before hanging his head and sighing in frustration, he was surrounded by the same dense forest every which way he looked.

His stomach growled, and he felt a twinge of annoyance once more at losing his pack. He was getting hungry. He hadn't eaten before running from the temple, and the several hours on the ship.

// perfect... empty stomach,....empty soul //

It was true, he felt hollow, weightless...in a sense. His hear was bleeding the life from him, pouring the joy he once radiated with out on to the murky ground at his feet and leaving an emptiness in its wake.

// I 'm lonely....// Obi-wan looked bleakly up into the heavens, but was sadly dismayed. There where no comforting stars to gaze at, and seek comfort from. Only the dull grey, and unfriendly sky looked down upon him.

With a heavy heart Obi-wan picked a course at random, and began to slowly walk through the endless forest. The dreary, wretchedness of this place pulled at his sprits persistently , wearing him away, fogging his senses.

He looked with meek silence at the dark foreboding trees, as he trudged past.

//What's this place, I'm so far from my home and I'm tired..............I don't want to be alone.//

Listening to the eerie quietness of the place, as it almost grew unbearable around him. Suffocating and squeezing against him. Obi-wan found himself wishing for a companion, anyone .....to keep him company.

// Oh I need someone to comfort me...................cause the one who use to comfort me................................well he don't want me...//

His heart ached with the certainty of that statement. How could Qui-gon do that to him...?

"huh..?" Obi-wan stiffened. He had been so lost in thought that he'd failed to notice his surroundings until he had heard a sharp snap. Now he hung in the darkness listening and peering intently in the gloom.

"Who's there..?" he demanded.

No answer.

// maybe it was just my imagination....? // Obi-wan glanced nervously into the darkness. The shadows gave a frightening effect to the forest, and he couldn't help but cry out and bolt a few feet when a twisted old tree branch caught his rode.

He turned ready to attack when he realized his error. "Oh boy.." he chuckled "Obi-wan the mighty tree killer......Oi...get a grip old Boy.." he gazed up at the dull sky, wishing that there were stars to see. The pain in his heart welled up and sang sharply into his mind. 

" Bant....I'll never see you again.....I'm sorry.......I tried......" he eyes felt heavy as continued on his way. Heart lurching, overburdened with Emotion. As a fountain of memories poured over him. Drowning him in a life time of experiences.

Happy times with Bant, Reeft and Garin. as they talked and played by the lake. ..Sad times fighting with Bruck,...watching the other boy die...... Many times being held in awe by the teachings of Master Yoda, ....Quiet times in the fountain room...where he usually found Siri.

He stood in a daze, as the memories flowed past, smiling... laughing.....crying..

His mind came to the memories of his time with Qui-gon. 

A young boy, trying so hard to please his Master...a gawky youth earning his Master's approval.... becoming a slim and graceful young man, worthy of fighting along side his Master... Falling in Love... a first kiss.... a being bonded as close as two souls could be...........and.......

Obi-wan closed his eyes, stopping the memories and returning to the dark forest. As sadness once more engulfed him. He did not wish to think about Qui-gon..........Those memories no longer brought him happiness.

Obi-wan continued until he found a large tree. With great roots along the ground.

Here he dropped. Curling tightly against the trunk to keep warm, he tried to push the memories out of his head and get some rest.

// this place is awfully cold ...I've walked so many miles.........Force please let me go to sleep and forget him....for awhile. I know it's not his fault ....I've know it all along..................................//

Obi-wan let out a shuddering breath as a tear slid down his cheek.

// I was the one who trusted him................That's where I went wrong. //

  
  
  
  
  
  


To be continued..........


	6. That's Where I Went Wrong

That's Where I Went Wrong

  
  
  
  


From where he sat in the council room, Yoda, felt a disturbance flow through the force.

"Hmmm" The ancient Jedi Master, closed his eyes feeling as the ripples of sorrow washed over him, and listening to what the force was telling him.

"Master Yoda..?" Mace, another council member asked. He had been sitting next to him, when Yoda had suddenly gone silent. He felt the force shifting in the room, the air seemed charged,...different...something had happened. "What is it...?" 

The small alien, only muttered faintly, shaking his head. "Much pain I feel......much...sadness..I sense..." his brows knitted together in concentration.

Windu waited, sure that the old Master was going to say more, the explanation was hardly complete. 

But the old Master, stirred from his trance, and got up to leave.

"Master Yoda....?" Mace asked "What....has happened....?"

"Always in Motion the future is......always." Yoda replied.

"But.." 

"Need to meditate I do !..." The old Master interrupted, cutting Mace off . "Yes...Always changing the future is,......changed again it has..."

  
  


*********************************************************

  
  
  
  


The ship landed with a low whine on the landing strip. Pilot checking in with the landing crew, and accessing the ship. Nobody was the wiser of a stow away on broad. 

Obi-wan glanced through the grate of the air duct. The coast was clear. He jumped off the ramp to the ground and hurried quickly from the ship. He hid amongst some thick shrubs surveying the area, and getting his senses focused.

// This planet is rather remote.. // Obi-wan noted. Aside from the large expanse of dark forest, he couldn't see much in the way of a town or city...or anything at all.

// There's nothing here....// Obi-wan realized. He stepped forward, intending to get back onto the transport and wait until it landed on another planet, but ducked back down as the hulking pilot came back out of the hangar, and boarded the shuttle.

Obi-wan watched with disappointment as the ship lifted into the air and sped away into the stars.

"I guess I'm stuck here.....where ever here is..." he sighed. He really should have checked the ships navigation computer, before jumping off the ship.

"I haven't been thinking to clearly.." he confessed to himself. "Come on get your head together, Obi-wan...." he shook his white locks hoping to clear some of the clutter from his mind.

Turning towards the hangar, Obi-wan decided he might as well meet up with the locals sooner as opposed to later.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The hangar was small and run down, the door to the office hung crookedly by a single rusty hinge.

"What have I got myself into..?" he breathed. It wasn't doing him any good to just stand there and stare. So stifling a groan he pushed the door open.

All at once several pair of eyes where on him. Several rather inhospitable pairs of eyes..

Obi-wan felt his skin crawl, at some of the looks he was getting. Leering, angry....suggestive....

"Hello.." he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I'm Obi-wan Kenobi....I...un. ..was..." he back up slightly, from the intense glares, it was all to obvious they didn't care who he was, or what questions he had to ask .

One of the group, a large rugged humanoid stepped forward, "We don't like visitors on this world.." he hissed

Obi-wan took a step back, from the creature, as his foul breath invaded his lungs. "I..I assure you it was a mistake,.." he said. "If you would tell me when the next ship is due, I will go, and all problems will be solved.

The large alien coaked his head, "Hmmm, I don't know... why should we let you go.....you could be a spy. "

//Oh Force...// Obi-wan sighed // Spying on what ?? //

"I'm not a spy..." 

"No....then why you here...?" The alien gestured "What's here for you....?"

"I'd rather not talk about it..." Obi-wan mumbled as pain seeped into his heart once more.

"WELL I SAY WE ARE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT !!" the large alien roared.

Obi-wan almost jumped out of his skin, at the alien's outburst. He glanced at the other two glaring at him, as he was roughly thrown into a chair.

He hoped this talk would be civil. Though looking at the group didn't quell his fears.

// I'm sure this well be fine, just fine...they just want to have a little chat,.... no problem...unless of course their idea of a pleasant chat might involve ripping my still beating heart from my chest and eating it !!!!//

Obi-wan gulped. He had to get out of here.

Using his force ability Obi-wan concentrated on a small vibro blade on one of the tables. Keeping his gaze steady he slowly rise the blade into the air to hover above the heads of his captors. 

"Ahhhghghr!!!! Look !!" Cried on the guards.

"A ghost...!!!....it's possessed !!!!!!" the other screamed.

The large alien ducked as the blade flew near his head, dropping to all fours and covering his face.

Obi-wan smiled thankfully. These guys weren't to bright. A simple trick seemed to do the job. He quickly jumped from the chair and raced out the door.

"Hey Get him !!!" One of the aliens roared. 

Obi-wan took off racing into the dense forest, he didn't know which way he was going and at this moment he didn't much care, so long as it was away from them. He kept running until their shouting voices no longer echoed through the trees. Exhausted he flopped down on a soft mossy glade. 

"...t....thank...g.....goodness..' he panted. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair. "What a way to start...attacked by the natives, lost in the woods...and" Obi-wan's eyes widened and he groaned "I left my pack in the bushes...Damn it !!. He got up dusting himself off.

// Well it's safe to assume that the locals are not friendly......Still .I have to get off this planet.... there must be a city a little ways from here I'm sure...." Obi-wan look one way then the other, before hanging his head and sighing in frustration, he was surrounded by the same dense forest every which way he looked.

His stomach growled, and he felt a twinge of annoyance once more at losing his pack. He was getting hungry. He hadn't eaten before running from the temple, and the several hours on the ship.

// perfect... empty stomach,....empty soul //

It was true, he felt hollow, weightless...in a sense. His hear was bleeding the life from him, pouring the joy he once radiated with out on to the murky ground at his feet and leaving an emptiness in its wake.

// I 'm lonely....// Obi-wan looked bleakly up into the heavens, but was sadly dismayed. There where no comforting stars to gaze at, and seek comfort from. Only the dull grey, and unfriendly sky looked down upon him.

With a heavy heart Obi-wan picked a course at random, and began to slowly walk through the endless forest. The dreary, wretchedness of this place pulled at his sprits persistently , wearing him away, fogging his senses.

He looked with meek silence at the dark foreboding trees, as he trudged past.

//What's this place, I'm so far from my home and I'm tired..............I don't want to be alone.//

Listening to the eerie quietness of the place, as it almost grew unbearable around him. Suffocating and squeezing against him. Obi-wan found himself wishing for a companion, anyone .....to keep him company.

// Oh I need someone to comfort me...................cause the one who use to comfort me................................well he don't want me...//

His heart ached with the certainty of that statement. How could Qui-gon do that to him...?

"huh..?" Obi-wan stiffened. He had been so lost in thought that he'd failed to notice his surroundings until he had heard a sharp snap. Now he hung in the darkness listening and peering intently in the gloom.

"Who's there..?" he demanded.

No answer.

// maybe it was just my imagination....? // Obi-wan glanced nervously into the darkness. The shadows gave a frightening effect to the forest, and he couldn't help but cry out and bolt a few feet when a twisted old tree branch caught his rode.

He turned ready to attack when he realized his error. "Oh boy.." he chuckled "Obi-wan the mighty tree killer......Oi...get a grip old Boy.." he gazed up at the dull sky, wishing that there were stars to see. The pain in his heart welled up and sang sharply into his mind. 

" Bant....I'll never see you again.....I'm sorry.......I tried......" he eyes felt heavy as continued on his way. Heart lurching, overburdened with Emotion. As a fountain of memories poured over him. Drowning him in a life time of experiences.

Happy times with Bant, Reeft and Garin. as they talked and played by the lake. ..Sad times fighting with Bruck,...watching the other boy die...... Many times being held in awe by the teachings of Master Yoda, ....Quiet times in the fountain room...where he usually found Siri.

He stood in a daze, as the memories flowed past, smiling... laughing.....crying..

His mind came to the memories of his time with Qui-gon. 

A young boy, trying so hard to please his Master...a gawky youth earning his Master's approval.... becoming a slim and graceful young man, worthy of fighting along side his Master... Falling in Love... a first kiss.... a being bonded as close as two souls could be...........and.......

Obi-wan closed his eyes, stopping the memories and returning to the dark forest. As sadness once more engulfed him. He did not wish to think about Qui-gon..........Those memories no longer brought him happiness.

Obi-wan continued until he found a large tree. With great roots along the ground.

Here he dropped. Curling tightly against the trunk to keep warm, he tried to push the memories out of his head and get some rest.

// this place is awfully cold ...I've walked so many miles.........Force please let me go to sleep and forget him....for awhile. I know it's not his fault ....I've know it all along..................................//

Obi-wan let out a shuddering breath as a tear slid down his cheek.

// I was the one who trusted him................That's where I went wrong. //

  
  
  
  
  
  


To be continued..........


	7. It's a Heartache

  
  


The Rogue Jedi

  
  
  
  
  
  


It's A Heartache 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Morning came with a steady drizzle of rain, and the waking of another gloomy, dreary day.

Obi-wan rose to his feet, his muscles groaning, stiff from the cold. He began to make his way through the dense forest looking for something to eat. He walked slowly, the forest was layered in a misty fog, making it hard for him to see. 

He shivered as he trudged up a slope, tearing through the wet foliage that clung to him. 

// At this rate my robes will be soaked again in no time // Obi-wan noted with dismay. He wanted to go faster, but it was impossible to gain any ground here. With every step he took the muddy ground would swallow up his boots , and he had to waste precious energy yanking them out to take another step.

// This is getting me nowhere...// 

Obi-wan's mind cried, as he pulled his foot out of the slope, once more, the mud made a wet slurping sound as it released him.

// I can't keep this up //

He'd been traveling this way for hours now, and he hadn't come across any form of civilization. 

Worst still, he hadn't found anything even remotely edible. The lack of food was starting to take it's toll on him. He leaned heavily against a tree, running his fingers through his hair.

The trek across the swampy forest floor had left him filthy. Obi-wan could see so, from his reflection in a puddle. His hair, was stained brown by the mud instead of the usual snowy white he was used to.

// A lot has changed// he reminded himself.

Memories of his time with Qui-gon played upon him. They had been on a planet similar to this one once. Fighting a criminal ring. Obi-wan remembered how he and his Master had spent days in the woods, until they were able to come up with a solution that would assure them victory over their foes.

" We beat them,.....we.....us......but......now..it's just ...........me....." Obi-wan choked, letting his legs slip from under him, he let his head fall to rest upon the tree. He was getting dizzy. All the events of the past several days had worn him out. He closed his eyes, as bits and pieces of memory played through his mind.

  
  


################################

  
  


"Obi-Wan look. Is it not beautiful.." The large jedi asked his young apprentice.

"Yes Master...I can see why you have cherished this place so. I see why you chose it as you secret haven."

"As..our secret haven now, my dear Obi-wan... .."Qui-gon smiled, lifting him up and swinging him in the air.

"Ahh...Master!" Obi-wan shouted gleefully. "Don't you dare!!" his cry was cut short by a splash as he hit the water. 

A moment later a snowy white mane of hair broke the surface, and Obi-wan swam to the bank.

"Master I'm gonna........?....Master..?." he looked but there was nobody in site. ".....Qui-gon....?.......Qui-gon.....come back... Come back"

  
  


################################

  
  
  
  


// Qui-gon.....come back....come back... //

"cough...cough..unnn.." he gasped opening his eyes, 

// I fell asleep...no...I can't sleep ..not here.....I gotta keep going..// he shivered, pulling his robe closer to him. 

// I need to find some shelter. Somewhere to dry off and get warm.

With great effort he got back on his feet, struggling once more through the rain, looking desperately for food, and shelter. 

As he walked his mind lingered to his Master,. And the dream he had had . 

//why did you do it Master....oh why...// He saw the world mist up once more as his eyes brimmed with tears.

//Loving you Master............ it's a heartache.......nothing but a heartache....hits you when it's too late......it hits you when your down.

Obi-wan continued on with agonizing slowness, weaving in and out through the trees.

He felt stupid, for ever allowing himself to become so week. "I let myself trust, let myself fall in love.....how could I be so..stupid..."

  
  


//It's a fool's game.....oh nothing but a fools game....walking in the cold rain, and feeling like a clown.//

  
  


He had walked for almost a mile before stopping with a jerk. His senses went on alert.

"!!" He tilted his head facing into the wind, and catching an unmistakable sent upon it.

Quietly, he followed the trail until he came upon the remains of some sort of creature laying in a small clearing. The clearing itself would have cheered Obi-wan up considerably had it not been so laden with blood and innards.

// it's been ripped apart !!..// Obi-wan noted looking at the beast, and feeling a queasiness rise up in his stomach.

He scanned the surrounding area before continuing on quickly 

// whatever killed it was close....the sent of blood was fresh...//

Unfortunately he had only moved a dozen feet, when suddenly a huge hulking beast stepped out directly into his path.

// I must be tired. I should have sensed that // Obi-wan chided himself.

He lurched out of the way as the beast charged at him, spinning and bolting into the thick brush of the forest. He ran as fast as the undergrowth would allow him.

Tearing desperately at the clinging mass. He leaped out into another clearing and sped up hoping to get some distance between himself and his pursuer. 

"Aaaghgh.." he cried out as his feet slid on the muddy section, of the field.

// I'm entering a bog..// Obi-wan realized. No sooner had this become known to him, than one of his feet broke the surface of the swamp. "Arghh" he yelped pitching forward, as his foot sank up to his knee in the soft goop.

" I gotta get out !!" he cried , reaching forth he grabbed handfuls of reeds and swamp grass, wrenching himself loose. The muck sucked at his leg, pulling his boot off as he jumped free.

He looked back, there was no time to save his boot, he turned, running with all his might. He had barely gotten ten feet when the beast caught up to him.

Obi-wan felt it's weight fall upon him knocking him to the ground. It roared seizing his left arm in it's jaws.

"AAARRRGHHHH!!!!" Obi-wan screamed out in a moment of blind terror, 

// I'm going to die!! In a swamp ...on a planet in the middle of nowhere !!!//

"NOOOO!!!!" He screamed using a powerful force blast , he flung the creature off and away from him.

Obi-wan staggered to his feet gasping for air.

// I have to get away...//

Up ahead he saw a steep cliff face, if he could get to it he might be able to escape.

He ran, with all the strength he had left, with all the power his wounded and neglected body could allow him. He reached the sheer rock side and lauched himself onto its face.

He could hear the beast's breathing getting louder as it came up behind him. He had to get away.

"Unnngg...unnn.." Obi-wan struggled as he inched higher. He bit his lip, ignoring the burning pain in his arm. Grit his teeth to keep from crying out, as the cliffs sharp grey rocks sliced his hands and foot to ribbons.

Below him the Beast snarled out it's rage at having lost it's prey, before it stalked off in search of another meal.

  
  


"Unn...unghhh.." Obi-wan placed one blood stained hand on the ledge, and then the other. With a final heave he hauled himself over the top.

The young jedi lay still for several minutes , save for his sides rising and falling as he gulped in air.

He sighed. He had won, he was still alive. But he still had to find shelter and, as his stomach growled to remind him..food.

He sat up taking in his surroundings. To his horror , more of the same forest stretched before him.

"Damn it !!" He shouted. Falling once more on his backside, his eyes gazing up into the grey, lifeless sky. "Damn it , damn it , DAMN IT !!!" he screamed. He felt like crying, but was too tried. Everything was going wrong all of a sudden.

  
  


// It's a heartache...nothing but a heartache......love until your heart breaks......then he let's me down.//

  
  


As usual his mind drifted back to Qui-gon, Obi-wan wondered if he even knew he was gone.....did he even care...?

"of course not, he was only too happy to get rid of you When the Chosen One showed up. He probably hasn't even said my name, .....he doesn't care anymore.....I wonder if he ever cared..or was I merely an amusement to him.................Love hurts.."

  
  


// It's not right, to have a love we share....when you find........his doesn't care......for you...//

He thought back to all their times together. Whether it had been a mission or simply a quiet stroll in the forest, Qui-gon had been his world, part of his soul. He loved him, needed him.

" And that was my mistake....to rely on another...to...need...." Obi-wan felt angry with himself. 

  
  


// It isn't wise to need someone as much as I depended on you // 

Obi-wan covered his eyes with an arm, groaning...

It was then he felt a tingling in his mind.

"Hmmm"

// Find peace you must before find your way you can..// Yoda's voice echoed in his mind.

Obi-wan nodded. Closing his eyes he let the force flow through him, around him, over him. Feeling his peace returning to him, he opened his eyes and looked again. Scanning the forest intently. And then he saw it. 

" A road!" he cried. Limping down the hillside. It was about a mile away, and it would be painful to get to. But it was there.

"Thank the force !!' he sang. He cleared the tree line and stopped. 

Twisted all about the huge trees were brambles , sharp and daunting . Obi-wan attempted to ease one aside only to get his arm slapped by another branch .

"Ow ! " he winced, the thorns stung. He back backed off slightly.

// I don't believe there is another way // he sighed looking up and down the tree line.

He took a deep breath. 

"Well this is great Kenobi,...what now...?" he thought for a moment. "I could try going back, I'd have to climb back down that cliff again though...oh....stop it Obi-wan..!!! Go back to what ? That creature....or something worst.... or more of the same endless forest, you've been in for days now.........................I'm talking to myself.....sigh!.....No that road way is my only hope"

Gritting his teeth, Obi-wan pulled his robe tightly around his body, and plunged into the brambles.

  
  
  
  
  
  


There was a loud snap and a large bramble cane gave way, dropping to reveal a very scratched and bloodied jedi. 

Obi-wan stumbled a few more feet, coming to the roads edge. His vision was getting hazy on him.

" unnnggg........so....tired.....got....keep...go..ing......" he panted.

A few shaky steps more and he collapsed. "...unn....need...t.....to...ressst..." he whispered drifting off in a patch of clover a few feet from the road.

  
  
  
  
  
  


***************************************************

  
  


"Woah, woah" a thin green alien commanded, halting the air car he'd been steering, on the shoulder of the road.

Getting out he walked over to Obi-wan's prone form.

"Jemez, what is the hold up!!" a voice shouted from the back seat of the vehicle.

"Sir, I think you should come see this " Jemez, replied.

"OH what is it that you must bore me with?" The young man sighed. "And walking over to the lump in the grass.

"What!!....by the force.!!" He gasped.

"Master.?" Jemez looked up at him, "Is this a jedi that you speak so much about.?"

"Yes. But not just any jedi" he man replied giving Obi-wan a hard glare. 

He stared a moment longer before deciding "Help me get him into the car, he will be taken to my strong hold.....now fool !!

The small alien didn't understand this turn of mood , but knew better than to question. His Masters whims.

After Obi-wan was safely settled and the car was moving once more , Jemez, decided to chance a question.. "Um...begging your pardon Master...but I thought you disliked the jedi..?"

"Yes" the man said, giving an annoyed glance. 

"Then why bother to save this one ?"

"Because Jemez, I have plans for this one......big plans" he grinned.

Jemez still didn't understand , but decided not to press the issue further. He rounded the corner that led into a foreboding building, tall dark.

"Jemez, I want you to ready a room for our ......guest....he may be staying with us for quite some time."

Jemez, nodded parking the car. 

  
  


"Yes Master Xanatos"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


To be continued........

  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Savoir

The Rogue Jedi ----part 6

  
  
  
  
  
  


Savior

  
  
  
  
  
  


"Master !!." Obi-wan cried frantically, racing to his fallen Master's side. His heart was racing as he dropped down beside him. 

"Qui-gon....please..." Obi-wan gasped.

"Unn....Obi-wan " the older man's eyes flickered for a brief moment recognizing the face before him, then dimming once more.

"Master..? ....MASTER !!" Obi-wan cried out. "Get up Master,....you must..."

"I..can't ...Obi-wan....." Qui-gon's voice cracked weakly. " gone....all gone..." his breath hitched momentarily before the large head rolled to the side eyes blank and glazing over.

"No.." Obi-wan's breathed, his hand's covering his face. "No Master...you can't die..."

"Can't he..?" A snickering voice rang out. 

Obi-wan growled, as the shadows parted before him. "Anakin.." his face twisted up showing his disgust.

The small blonde boy stepped up to him. But to Obi-wan's horror he seemed to grow as he drew closer. Become a man with each advance. Foot upon foot till he stood well over Obi-wan's head. He glanced down at the smaller man, his eyes gleaming the cruel calculating viciousness all predators have for their prey.

Obi-wan gazed back in to those dark orbs, not backing down form the darkness in front of him.

To his surprise Anakin smiled at him. Though it was with little kindness to it, and he didn't feel any more the safer for it.

"Master Kenobi, ..aren't you a little out of place...?" the voice asked., it was deep, and horrid.....unnatural. It dripped with sarcasm.

""My Master..needs me" Obi-wan snapped.

"YOUR Master..?" Anakin laughed. "I'm sorry, but don't you mean MY Master? As I recall he ditched you. Though I can hardly blame him."

Obi-wan felt his throat tighten. "No...Qui-gon loves me..."

"Yes he certainly showed it for you when you tried to warn him of me didn't he..?" the dark jedi snorted. "Face it Obi-wan, no one needs you. You were tossed for something better. You bore him....I think..yes that's it. " Anakin's eyes danced with sick amusement. "Or.. Maybe he just didn't want to be saddled with your little brat."

" !.." Obi-wan gasped. "How did you know..!"

"Please, Kenobi don't assume my intelligence." Anakin gave him a rather bored look. " It wasn't that hard. You project your feelings quite easily, when your distressed."

Obi-wan hung his head. What was he to do? Anakin knew, he knew....everything.

"Though I must say it was a touch foolish of yourself getting knocked up right before your trails" Anakin laughed.

"Stop it!" Obi-wan growled. "It was a bond made of love, I love Qui-gon and he loves me."

"Oh .. Let's test that theory shall we?" Anakin walked over to Qui-gon's still form.

Obi-wan jumped forward ready to defend his Master. When he rose up.

"Master..?" Obi-wan was taken back, he was certain Qui-gon had been dead mere moments before.

"Oh Master..." Obi-wan cried throwing his arms around Qui-gon's neck. "I love you..Master. Tell him please. Tell this Sith that he's wrong...that you love me ....tell him.."

"He is quite right Padawan, " Qui-gon's tone was cold and distant as he spoke.

"What..?" Obi-wan pulled back to look in his lovers eyes. "Master..." His eyes were different, dark, full of malevolence. "Master..?"

"I do not love you.. You.foolish boy...you were merely a convenience . A toy. I have what I want...what I've always wanted right here." he smiled gesturing to were Anakin stood.

"No" Obi-wan was at a loss for words. "Master..."

"You don't seem to catch on very fast do you Kenobi...?" Anakin laughed kicking a foot full of dirt into the stricken jedi's face.

"That is one of a long lists of annoyances about dear Obi-wan....." Qui-gon sneered .

"Well so be it then. Ha ha ha..." Anakin laughed once more shoving Obi-wan to lay in the dirt.

"Come My Padawan. " Qui-gon emphasized the words "Let us go we have much to do. It's good to know I have a worthy apprentice at my side, after so many years with such a pitiful wretch"

"Yes Master" Anakin nodded following along beside him. "That was certainly worth the effort. I got to meet the most galactically stupid life form in the star system. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

  
  
  
  
  
  


"NOOOOOO!!!"Obi-wan cried out, bolting upright from where he lay. Bright blots of colour danced in front of his eyes before he fell back down with a soft thud.

"Unnnn oh...unghh.." He groaned, slowly allowing his eyes to flicker open. "Where am I...?" 

He tried to sit up again, but the swimming in his head forced him back down. With his eyes he slowly scanned his surroundings. He was laying in a large bed, in an extravagantly furnished chamber.

"Unnn" he closed his eyes a moment, as another wave of dizziness took him. He pulled the covers back, glancing down at himself. 

// I'm clean..?..// he noted.

His torn jedi robes were gone, replaced with a simple white night shirt. Obi-wan raised a hand up to his face. The slashed palm was covered, and dressed in a fresh white bandage. He looked his body over. All of his wounds were dressed. He slowly managed to sit up in the grand bed. Taking a breath to steel himself against the vertigo, as it sought to overtake him again. After he had ridden out the worst of it, he turned his head to the door way. It was open slightly.

" Hello..?" he called out. His voice was cracked, and strained. He realized suddenly just how thirsty he was. "Hello..?" he tried again. 

There was no answer. 

Obi-wan let his head rest on his chest, closing his eyes in utter weariness, and ready to let fate do with him whatever it wished.

"Ah nice to see your finally awake. " a smooth voice, broke into his thoughts

" !..." Obi-wan's blood went cold. He turned already knowing to whom that voice belonged even before his eyes laid sight upon him.

"Xanatos.!" He gasped, pulling back until his back pressed against the head board. He glared hard at the Dark Jedi, his lips pulled back in a snarl.

"Now , now Kenobi...there's no need for alarm.." Xanatos's honey sweet voice assured. "You should be grateful I found you" he gave a smile, taking a step towards his guest.

"Stay away from me!.." Obi-wan spat. He twisted around, making a vain attempt to escape. But only managed to titter for a few steps before collapsing in his saviors arms.

"unnn' Obi-wan groaned, he felt as though he'd just been hit by a Bantha. Whatever small reserve of energy he'd had, it was gone now. He went limp in Xanatos's arms.

The raven haired man stiffened as he felt, his captive become a deadweight in his arms.

"Trying to escape..?" he snorted. "To where..? The forest..? It goes on for miles...."

Picking Obi-wan up he laid him back upon the bed. " Forgive my saying so but you're in no condition to be to be up and about, let alone thinking of escape." He took a seat at the foot of the bed. Eyeing Obi-wan carefully

Obi-wan tried pull back so he was sitting up somewhat. But his arm seemed caught. looking down he noticed for the first time since his awaking that his arm was in a sling. He gave a questioning look at Xanatos.

" You were almost dead when I found.."Xanatos explained. cocking his head at the jedi in wonder. "Tell me....... What is a jedi like yourself doing on such a dismal planet....?"

Obi-wan kept silent, the glare on his face speaking volumes for itself.

"Well...?

"Nothing.." Obi-wan growled. He mentally sighed it was a lame excuse but he just couldn't think of anything better to say at the moment.

"Nothing..?" Xanatos, blinked in amusement. "I don't think so....it's not every day one comes across a jedi in the ditch...."

Obi-wan kept his jaws firmly clenched.

" I want the truth Kenobi," Xanatos whispered leaning closer. His eyes seemed to harden suddenly. 

"I told you...I"

"NOW!!' he snapped, gabbing Obi-wan by his shoulders and pressing him against the mattress. "Tell me..."

"There's nothing to tell you...!" Obi-wan gasped .in surprised.

"Lair.." Xanatos snarled. "I don't know how you found this place . But you won't be telling your Master about it....Where is Qui-gon.. !!" 

"At......the temple..." Obi-wan gasped.

Xanatos lessened his grip on Obi-wan's throat. "The temple...?"

"Yes.." Obi-wan whispered. 

"Then you're alone...?"

Obi-wan grimaced. He was getting in deep. If Xanatos knew he was alone..he might just kill him on the spot. But if he lied about Qui-gon being here. He was dead anyway.

"Yes....y..yes I'm alone." Obi-wan stammered. His head was spinning again. He wanted to hide under the covers and make this whole horrible nightmare go away.

"All alone...?...no Master with you....?" 

Obi-wan nodded. Xanatos sat back. His hand rubbing his chin and he thought. He sat quietly for some time, and Obi-wan was starting to nod off when his icy blue eyes speared him.

"Give it to me.." he hissed.

"What....?" Obi-wan was throughly confused. He wanted to cry.

"Give me your tracking device. I'm not an idiot Kenobi I know what you're doing. You're sending co-ordinates back to the temple with a tracking device. So that the jedi may finally dispose of me. Oh very clever...now GIVE IT TO ME. !!!!"

"I have no device Xanatos.." Obi-wan sobbed, unable to keep his strong face up any longer.

Xanatos stared suspiciously. "Prove it..."

" You've searched my robes no dought. I had no electronic devices on me. "

Xanotos huffed seemingly at a loss for words. " True......but...how can I be sure..."

Obi-wan gazed sadly up into his captures eyes. "Look at me Xanatos.....I'm torn to bits, starving to death..in the middle of nowhere. I have no supplies...no communicator.....I don't even have my light saber anymore.......do you really think I'm in any shape to be attacking you..?"

The Dark Jedi looked his over, he was thin, and pitifully week in his current state.

// he really can't do much to me even if he wanted to. And he did seem genuinely surprised to see me...//

" Very well, Kenobi. I accept your story for now. But then tell me why you're here.

" Everyone has to be somewhere ..." Obi-wan murmered.

"That's not what I asked !!" Xantoes snapped, evidently not liking the answer. "Why are you on this planet.!! Why did I find you here !! Laying on the road hunting for your own death, instead of by your Masters side, like a good little apprentice should be..?" 

"I am no longer his apprentice..." Obi-wan whispered.

" You can't be a knight....not while you still have this." Xanatos said , grasping hold and yanking the snowy braid by Obi-wan's ear.

"I am still a padawan.....but not his." Obi-wan choked. Shutting his eyes as his shame flared inside him. He wanted to curl up and die. He felt tears slide down his face as his resolve crumbled inside him. And forced himself to look his captor in the eyes, least he shame himself further. 

He was surprised by the look That Xanatos was giving him. It was something between bewilderment, and worry. As though the dark jedi could sense his sadness, but was unsure how to deal with it. After a moment of awkward silence he realized Xanatos wasn't going to make any move to comfort or condemn him for his outburst, and if they were going to set things right, he was going to have to start.

Obi-wan sniffed loudly wiping his tears away. "I understand you now Xanatos.." he began softly.

"What..?" Xanatos looked sharply at the young man.

"We've both been hurt by the same man now..." Obi-wan said folding his good arm in his lap.

The raven haired man was listening keenly to what his captive had to say.

"Go on.." he urged.

"He cast me aside....threw me away for another. The chosen one !.." Obi-wan growled at the mere thought of Anakin.

"Do....tell...me more.." Xanatos nodded hanging intently on Obi-wan's every word.

"He cast me aside.....right in front of the council..." Obi-wan gave a sharp gasp as his tears stared anew.

"Hmmm" Xanatos, watched his stricken ward with a casual interest. An idea was forming in his head. Worming it's way into his dark thoughts, and desires...darkest of all the desire for revenge.

//patience....patience...// he chided himself. // there are other matter's at hand...first.. //

He walked over to the weeping form, gently pulling back the soft down comforters, and fluffing up a pillow. "Come Kenobi.. " he said indicating the pillows " you've had a rough time. I have been a little hasty in my judgment to you, forgive me. My home is your's as long as you need it...you'll not want for anything. Now I'll leave you to your rest.....we can talk more later.

It appears we now share a common ground."

"Yes.." Obi-wan replied uneasily. The sudden change mood was certainly unexpected. But he found that he had enjoyed talking to someone...having someone listen to him. Even Xanatos

// I must be lonely...// he thought. // Never did I dream to be conversing with an enemy like a ...?

Friend....no not exactly a friend ..but...a..?...ohhh.. Never mind.. Whatever he is.. I must keep my guard up. ..// with thoughts playing in his head Obi-wan let himself fall into a deep sleep.

  
  
  
  


********************************

  
  


"Perfect !! This is perfect..." Xanatos laughed, throwing open the door to his private chambers. The dark jedi strode purposefully inside, throwing back the thick purple drapes and taking a seat by the large bay window. 

" I will finally have my revenge on Qui-gon after all these years." He poured himself a drink before returning to stare out the window into the gloomy landscape below. "Revenge for all the suffering you caused me Qui-gon, all of it !!" he let a smile play on his lips , chuckling softly.

"...And I only have to gain the trust, of our dear little Kenobi to do it...ha ha " he laughed.

A bolt of lightning split the sky, and seemed to rent the air charged with malice. Xanatos smiled, as the rain began to pelt against his window. 

Today was the day the wheel was set in motion, a day of reckoning for all. Some more than others.

A loud clap of thunder boomed in the sky.

Xanantos threw his head back and laughed. " Oh Master , how I long to see the look on your face when BOTH of your apprentices come to spell your undoing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!

  
  
  
  
  
  


To be continued. ..........

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. He's Not Worth Missing

The Rogue Jedi 

  
  
  
  
  
  


He's Not Worth Missing

  
  
  
  
  
  


The next morning the sun, broke lazily threw the thick clouds in a half hearted attempt to break threw the dull groom of the surrounding sky.

In the fortress , Xanatoes began to set his plan into motion.

"Hurry up with that platter Jemez," he snapped at his servant. 

The humble alien nodded, making the final touches to the elegant dishes he'd made.

"They are ready sir" he bowed stepping back and watching expectantly.

"Good" Xanatoes snatched the plate up, turning and walking briskly away to the stair way.

"See that dinner is served promptly at 12:00 Jemez, until then do not disturb us." he called curtly over his shoulder.

The pround head, bowed ever so slightly as Jemez nodded his acceptance and answered softly "Yes Master."

  
  


****************************************

  
  


Xantoes made his way quickly up the staircase, to the guestroom chambers.

"This is almost too easy. I'll have breakfast and a little mindless small talk with him ...ha ha ha be his friend. I will gain his trust...and then... ha ha ha ha.. Ahem.."

He straightened his stance , and put on a cheerful face before pushing open the bed chamber doors.

"Good morning Kenobi, I brought you Breakfast. !" he exclaimed. 

The was no answer.

"...?...." Xantoes blinked the bed was empty.

"..Where.?......Kenobi..?.."

"Uun.." 

He turned suddenly hearing a noise coming from down the hall.

"Kenobi..?" Xanatoes resisted the urge to shout in anger, it would not help his plan to befriend the young jedi.

// Still, I don't remember giving him the liberty of snooping around my house unsupervised.//

He huffed, in annoyance and went to investigate his missing jedi.

"Hnnnn"

"Kenobi..?.." he stopped when he heard a quiet sound. Like a gasping noise. He slid back the fresher door, to find one weary and very miserable looking jedi knight kneeling beside his fresher.

//Great...A Jedi with the stomach flu...// Xantoes cringed. He looked down at the tired from in front of him, wondering what to say. 

"Um...are..you ok?" 

// Smooth..Xanatoes.. Of course he's not OK.!!!" Xantoes gave a small groan, running a hand through his hair. He really wasn't good at this sort of thing. Kindness and caring about someone's well being weren't high on his list. He was surprised to learn that he did feel for the jedi so stricken before him. Maybe not out right concern..but his heart ached with some small pity, that even he no longer knew he possessed.

"I'm...fine.." Obi-wan managed before another fit took him.

Xanatoes stood there awkwardly for a moment before hesitantly reaching down to put a hand on Obi-wan's shoulder.

"There.......un...there.."

// Oi, is this all the better I can do? // He felt rather ridiculous in his pathetic attempt at comfort. But it seemed to calm the young jedi before him.

"I'm sorry..." Obi-wan panted. Leaning back slowly.

"No, no...it's........ok. I didn't know you were sick. I wouldn't have had Jemez make you an omelette.

Obi-wan turned green at the mere mention of food, and Xantoes pulled back ready for another wave. But Obi-wan relaxed resting his head against the cool tile of the wall.

Xanatoes watched him for a moment as he breathed, quietly against the tile.

"Unn" he attempted to speak to break the silence that was starting to become awkward again.

" I....c..could make you some..soup if you want...?" He attempted

Obi-wan shook his head, his eyes still closed. "No no......not right now.. I............I'm just tired..." he confessed, his eyes blinking open, only to fall shut once more.

There was that feeling again that small aching in his heart, and before Xantoes could ponder it, he had stepped forward and put an arm around Obi-wan's waist.

"I'll help you back to your room" he offered.

"...Thank you" Obi-wan gave a genuine smile as he accepted the offer.

*******************************

  
  
  
  


Back in his quarters Obi-wan stared longingly out the window.

"You're thinking about him again aren't you?" Xanatoes asked.

"Yes" Obi-wan admitted "I can't help it ...I... .miss him ......the way that things were..."

"He isn't worth missing ...Kenobi.." Xanatoes said firmly taking a seat on the edge of the large bed, and looking directly into the jedi's eyes. 

Obi-wan's gaze was pained, as he broke from the gaze, lowering his eyes.

"Don't torture yourself over something that is so completely undeserving of your effort. You don't need to be hurt anymore..." Xantoes spoke the words quietly, trailing off slightly at the end.

Obi-wan watched his savior quietly, sensing an air about him that was.....unnatural..? No .

Unusual...to Xanatoes's very nature. The man seemed to be truly concerned for his well being, but also, seemed melancholy in the same breath.

//truly a complicated soul..// Obi-wan thought to himself as he gazed. He took a deep breath wondering if he should dare such a question to the being before him. But he found he couldn't resist.

"Why....why do you hate Qui-gon so? " he asked cautiously

Xantoes stiffened slightly at the question. "Why do you think..?" he whispered, looking bleakly at the wall.

"I....don't know.....from the stories that I heard, he saw no wrong in you..?"

"Exactly !" Xantoes hissed. Turning so quickly to meet his eyes that Obi-wan jumped.. "I was the best ! His little angel !........................And I hated every minute of it !!!" He growled .

"Why?" Obi-wan blinked , he couldn't believe his ears, After he had tried so hard to win Qui-gon's approval, Xanatoes loathed what his Master had given him for Free.

"I was scorned, day and night by all the other student's ...even some of the masters. They would laugh at me ...say that my Master was going easy on me. And the scary thing was I didn't know if they were telling the truth. 

I tried being bad, but good ol' Master Qui-gon always found away to push the blame away from me. Then I knew....I knew I wasn't really great. I was just being spoiled , privileged by a doting Master. 

And the more I got , the more I was envied. My fellow student's came not only to scorn me, but to truly hate me. And so I grew more and more unhappy. 

But it was when I started getting into fights with some of the other students that Qui-gon finally had to acknowledge something was wrong.

"You fought with other student's..?" Obi-wan asked. "Outside of the training room.?" It was unusual for students to get into rivalries outside the training room. Unusual and forbidden. Most settled their differences in the arena.

"Yes.." Xanatoes sighed. "They hated me ...and I hated..........no....I.. didn't ...hate..them........not...completely ." the dark Jedi bowed his head. "The truth is ...I was lonely....I had no one to confide in...no friends, no master.......lonely."

Obi-wan's heart clenched slightly, at the broken lament he had heard. 

"Why didn't you explain it to the others students , ask them to be your friend..?"

"Oh Kenobi, I did ask, a thousand times in a thousand different ways...but everybody hated me...and as my anger grew they came to fear me. I was 18, I was angry. And all I could do was make them fear me more and more.

Then, Qui-gon, he killed my father...and...something inside me just ......just snapped." Xanatoes looked up, his eyes glittering with a far off look. "And so I left the jedi and my master...and.."

"And became a criminal " Obi-wan finished.

"I prefer business man " Xanatoes replied cooly. 

"I've seen how your business effects others....innocents."

"They are not my problem..." Xanatoes snapped. "My problem is Qui-gon . I want him to feel the hurt he has caused me..!" 

Obi-wan ducked his head, he fought back the tears of shame at the feeling coursing through him.

// I do too...oh force I do too!..// 

he felt a hand gently lift his chin. Looking up he met Xantoes's ice blue eyes staring intently, inches from his own.

" I think you do too...Am I right..?" He grinned, his hand trailed down to Obi-wan's Padawan braid, tucked behind his ear. His symbol shame and betrayal.

Obi-wan's throat spasmed, letting his tears spill down his cheeks .

"Yes" he sobbed.

Xanatoes smiled as he pulled the covers over his distraught guest. // Things are going good...so far//

  
  


"Don't cry Kenobi. Not for him..........never for him. He's not worth missing .."

  
  
  
  


To be continued.....

  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  



	10. I Love You Wherever You Are

  
  
  
  


The Rogue Jedi

  
  
  
  
  
  


I Love You Wherever You Are.....

  
  
  
  


" That's good Anakin, keep your eyes focused on your target at all times." Qui-gon shouted over the hum of their sabers as he swung once more , in a graceful swinging arch , trying to parry a blow from the young boy. 

He was truly impressed by Anakin's ability to learn and his attentiveness, almost one track thinking to his training. He'd never had such a student like this

// it's like he's already trained.//

" Keep moving now Ani.."

"Yes Master" the boy nodded setting his stance.

At his acknowledgment , Qui-gon stopped. His heart aching painfully in his chest. He could almost hear Obi-wan saying that... as he had mere weeks before. 

// We trained in here.... ....this very spot....seems..so long...ago...// he turned his light saber off casting his glance to the floor.

"Master?" Anakin stepped forward confused by the sudden change in the man before him. He sensed a sadness creep around him.

"I'm sorry Ani. I forgot I must meet with the council ... Why don't you practice with yourself for a while then alright?" 

"Ok Master.." Anakin nodded giving his Master a knowing look, then proceeded to spar on his own.

Qui-gon watched the boy for a few more moments before turning abruptly on his heel and exiting the training room.

  
  


  
  


Qui-gon made his way down the hall, picking his path at random. His thoughts in turmoil

// Oh Obi-wan..// his mind cried in sorrow. // where have you gone my beloved...//

For the past week, Qui-gon had not heard word from his apprentice, he could not find him with the force....save for a small aching sadness along their bond...it was as if he'd been swallowed up without a trace.

Qui-gon sighed he was sure the week must have been sith spawned ....but no...

// It's my fault . It was my fault that you ran off dearest Obi-wan...... I.......struck you...and I am ashamed off my actions....deeply . You fled from me in terror...and I like the arrogant fool I am let you go. I should have gone after you, held you , loved you, begged your forgiveness and kissed your tears dry. But I didn't ...............//

  
  


Qui-gon continued his aimless walk around the temple halls, as his thoughts preyed upon him. Tearing him up, and pushing him down into his depths of sadness., and self torment.

"Why didn't I do anything..? ......why didn't I talk to you.....I am your Master......I knew you were jealous of Ani. I should have made time for you....listened to what you had to say. Oh I tried to talk to you...but ohhh Obi-love we are both so stubborn. Our words soon turned to quarrels and we'd end up worst then when we started......... I didn't think I would loose you my love.......I should have tried harder......//

Qui-gon reached the fountain room and stood looking over at the cascading falls. A sad smile came to his face, at the irony of ending up here. Obi-wan's place of comfort.

// I remember how you loved to come here Obi-wan, how you loved the falls. You could sit and watch the waters for hours......and you did...you and I togther. You would lay on the grass at the bank dipping your hands in and splashing me before laying quiet and close beside me not making a sound.

And I ....I would tell you how the white foam of the falls reminded me of your beautiful white hair. How the deep shimmering blues and purples of the water were but a vain attempt of mother nature to match the ever changing hues of your eyes.

Yes . I remember ....but..now you're gone. And it's my fault I fear.....//

  
  


He turned weary eyes upwards into the foaming mouth of the falls, watching as the water trickled down the rock side....and he remembered . 

A slap..........

  
  


.....flesh hitting flesh

  
  


.....the sickening sound of a body hitting the floor......

  
  
  
  


................Blood....dripping ....marring the white locks......mixing with ...tears.

  
  


....................eyes....full of pain......pain...and ..

  
  


..............fear...................................fear ...of him...

  
  
  
  


Qui-gon shook his head but the image burned into his mind would not dissipate .

" Forgive me Obi-wan, but this room shall never bring me joy any longer. The falls no longer bubble with the memories of your laughter, now they haunt me with your cry of sadness. The water trickling down the rocks is like seeing your tears anew....tears that were spilt because of me

the White foam is stained red.......and the waters blue and purple hues capture only to well the pain and sorrow that your eyes had written in them that fateful night.

I loath myself for what I did to you. If I could take it back I would....but I can not...."

Qui-gon bowed his head, letting the noise of the falls wash over him, overpower him, torment him....until..

Beautiful the falls are yes?"

"To some I suppose. To me they bring only sadness" Qui-gon replied looking down at the small master by his side.

"Hmmm....a lesson to be learned in all things there is..." Yoda continued. "Have you learned it yet..?"

Qui-gon turned a pitiful expression towards his master. The unshed tears in his eyes spoke the answer clearly for him.

Yoda nodded, silently, feeling his Padawan's sorrow "Come Qui-gon" he offered his voice softening "Come with me...talk we shall.."

"Thank you Master...but I think I'll stay a little longer...."

"Hmm...very well then..." The small Master agreed. He shuffled slowly from the room, his gimmer stick tapping the stone floor as he went.

  
  
  
  


// Yes I will stay here and let my pain wash over me, touch me, haunt me.....punish me for what I have done. And show me....mock me with what I've lost.....what I could have had....

And now never will.....and when I leave here my pain will follow me ... Whisper to me....your name.

Obi-wan........

I can only guess where you are tonight, or what it is you are doing there.

But I hope you are safe.....if not happy....then at least at peace.

And I hope you know that I love you ......

I love you Obi-wan ...

I love you wherever you are.....//

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


To be continued.........................

  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. But He's Not You

  
  
  
  


The Rouge Jedi ----Part 9

  
  
  
  


But He's Not You

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Where am I...?" Obi-wan blinked. He gazed about him. He was in a dark room completely obscured by shadows save for the few weak tendrils of light that had managed to weave their way down through the cracks.

// Cracks ...?!! The ceiling !! // Obi-wan noted looking up. It wasn't a ceiling at all but a great mound of crumbled rock and dirt, with strange white sticks in it.. Covering him... suffocating him.

  
  


Obi-wan gasped as the roof started to sink.

" Help !" he cried out , pushing against a wall. "Help... Qui-gon, Bant .....Xanatos!!"

His hands pushed against the earth , clawing at the mud and stone until his hands bled.

It was then in a wild movement that he struck on of the sticks, dialoging it from it's roost.

"OH BY THE FORCE !!!" Obi-wan screamed , looking between it and the still descending mass above.

// Bones !!! NO I'm trapped in a tomb.... !!! Buried under a roof of bones !!! //

his struggle grew more frantic as he was knocked to his back , bloodied hands clawing at the gruesome cover closing over him.

"No.... HELP HELP !!!!!" His gaze grew more terrified as the mass began to shift, forming itself into faces. Some of whom he recognized.

"Obi-wan ...................save ussssss ...............heeeelllpppp.......uusssssssss" the faces wailed.

Dark faces, dead faces....faces made of dirt and mud with hollow soulless eyes that still seemed to be able to see into his very being.

"Go away ...!!! " Obi-wan cried "No....No..!!!"

"Save ussssssss...." The faces roared as they fell forth devouring him up, in an inky darkness.

  
  


**************************************************************

  
  
  
  


"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!! Obi-wan screamed , flying upright in is bed. He sat there gasping for breath as the horrid image slowly left his mind. 

//oh Force that was so appalling//

He placed a hand over his breast, feeling his heart beating quickly inside his chest.

// Thank goodness it was a dream. But......a dream of what...?// 

"Unhhmm" He shuddered at the vile image in his mind, as he pushed the blankets from his body.

Hoping to distract himself from the night's hold on his mind, Obi-wan carefully took his arm from the sling. Stretching it carefully to test it's strength. He was pleased to note that he could flex his fingers again without feeling to much pain. Still he would have to keep the sling for a week more at least.

He got up limping over to the window and gazing down at the small garden in the courtyard. He enjoyed the garden, and though it was never really sunny, he found that the outdoors cheered him up slightly. 

Obi-wan made his way quietly down the stairs, and into the kitchen area, catching the strong sent of spices on the air.

// Jemez is cooking again.// 

He smiled thinking about the small alien servant. Over the past few days he had gotten to know him better. Jemez was truly a kind and caring soul. Always willing to put others before himself. Obi-wan found it strange that he would serve someone like Xanatos.

// But then he hasn't been himself lately either // the young jedi thought.

The past week had been quite peaceful. Xanatos had made good his word about wanting for nothing . His every need had been met. 

Still Obi-wan couldn't help but be suspicious about this sudden change of face.

// What does he want..?// he pondered the question in his mind as he strolled into the gardens, and took a seat by the small pond.

// I wish thing s were clearer //

Looking down at his reflection in the water, he brought his hand up lightly touching the bruise on his cheek.

// Qui-gon............... I wonder if you even miss me ?" He dipped his finger into the water destroying the reflection of sadness staring back at him. "I know I miss you. I know you won't believe this but Xanatos seems to be......kind...in small ways. I know I should be happy, by this kindness he's showing....in some ways your so alike. His hair is soft and his eyes are ice blue, almost like yours.//

"Kenobi, ah there you are !" Xanatos called appearing around the corner. 

//He's all the things a man should be............ but he's not you // 

"I brought tea, would you care to have some?" he asked setting the tray down.

"Yes thank you" Obi-wan nodded. He smiled remembering his first morning here. Since then Xanatos never bothered to serve him breakfast, but would wait until he went outside and offer him some tea..

// It is thoughtful of him..// Obi-wan sighed, rolling the mug between his hands // I just wish I knew what he was up to//

He looked back down into the water. Now that he was getting better he had to decide what he was going to do.

// I must leave soon.....somehow// He knew Xanatos would get suspicions if he put anymore weight on, and he didn't want anyone knowing about his child.

//I wish I could trust him// Obi-wan's heart cried out. // I wish I had someone to talk with.... oh Bant how I long your friendship once more. A palace even though it has every convenience in the world..........is still a lonely place.//

"Kenobi?" Xanatos's voice cut thought his thoughts.

"Huh..?" Obi-wan jumped, turning to look at his companion. "I...I'm sorry.." He blushed realizing that he'd been staring sadly into the water and completely ignoring his host.

" You were thinking of him again weren't you..?" 

"Among other things yes ..." Obi-wan let his gaze fall to his hand resting in his lap.

Xanatos reached over taking his hand in one of his own and giving it a squeeze. "I'm here for you" he whispered.

"Yes..." Obi-wan nodded looking him deep in the eyes. // Are you really..? Oh Xanatos , you truly are the complicated soul.//

  
  


He knows just what to say to me when I am blue, he's everything I could want but he's not you.

  
  


He knew Xanatos must be up to something, felt like he was fooling him in some way....but ...looking into his eyes, he seemed genuinely concerned at the same time.

// Truly the complicated soul// Obi-wan sighed leaning against Xanatos for support. He tensed slightly as he felt an arm go over his back embracing him warmly, if somewhat awkwardly. It felt odd, yet strangely comforting , and Obi-wan found he couldn't bring himself to push the small comfort away, not after so long being on his own.

  
  


When he comforts me, it almost feels the same. I have to stop myself from whispering your name.

  
  


// Qui-gon, I wonder what you would think of me now Master. Living with your greatest enemy. But you know he is a lot like you in certain respects.

You're both stubborn, short tempered.......but.....you would be surprised by the kindness he can show at times.... It's the small victories of good that he succeeds in doing .. They are wonderful Qui-gon. 

Xanatos shifted slightly, leaning back and bringing his other hand up to rest on Obi-wan's shoulder, he held the young jedi close, not saying anything...not needing to.

  
  


He even holds me close just like you use to do.

  
  


Obi-wan gave a half smile , as his tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

// I should be happy that I have him..// he thought about the raven haired man he was leaning against. // but........but...//

  
  


It's just breaking my heart ........cause he's not you.

  
  


Obi-wan sighed as he looked up meeting the icy blue eyes of his savior. So mush like Qui-gon's yet......not.

  
  


And it's just breaking my heart cause he should be you.

  
  


*********************************************************

  
  
  
  


Little did Obi-wan realize that far off in the temple gardens , another soul sat and mourned for him as well.

Qui-gon sat on the damp grass staring up at the heavens, having put Anakin to bed.

// Oh Obi-wan ....my dear love.... Will you never come back to me? Anakin is a wonderful student...but he could never replace you. I pray that soon you may come home....to me..//

  
  


He's everything I could want......still he's not you.

  
  
  
  


"Master Qui-gon " Anakin's voice called from the balcony overlooking the garden..

"Coming Anni, " the old Master replied. He made his way into the temple. Taking a last look at the stars with a sigh.

  
  


And it's just breaking my heart cause he's not you.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Yes it's just breaking my heart cause he's not you.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


To Be Continued......


	12. When you say Nothing at all

The Rogue Jedi --part 10

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When You Say Nothing At All

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Xanatos, chuckled quietly to himself as he lay back in the large armchair, in his private quarters.

// Things are going good.// he mused to himself. // Kenobi, it seems is finally starting to trust me, and open up a little more. And soon. ....so very soon, Qui-gon will pay for his insult to me......and Kenobi. ... WITH HIS LIFE !!! //

  
  


The dark Jedi smiled as he made his way out into the hall.

"JEMEZ!!!" He bellowed. "JEMEZ !!" 

He felt his anger spike when the small alien didn't answer him.

"Now where could that simpleton be ? !!!" he growled under his breath, stalking down the hallway, and peering into the rooms.

"Jemez!!" he began to curse when he suddenly heard sounds coming from the kitchen.

Striding forward he wretched the door open.

"Jemez!!" He snapped.

"M...Master..!.." The small alien squeaked. 

Xanatos, looked up surveying the kitchen. Several batches of cookies lay cooling by the window, and a fresh batch was baking in the oven. Looking back at his servant his stared hardened "Why didn't you answer me ?!!" he demanded. 

"Master, forgive me ..I" Jemez started.

"Xanatos !! Stop it !!" Obi-wan's voice cried out. The young jedi's face suddenly blocked his view. "Jemez was with me " he said evenly.

Xanatos glared at his servant. "Are you forgetting your place..? When I call YOU are to COME !!

"He didn't hear you obviously !!" Obi-wan cut in, once more sticking himself between the two.

"What's got you in such an uproar ?" He challenged. 

Xanatos was speechless at Obi-wan's revolt. It had been a long time since anyone had dared to talk back to him. It took him a moment to find his voice. 

"Jemez, step outside..." he said in a low even tone.

The small alien shot Obi-wan a fearful glance , before hurrying out the doorway. As soon as he was gone Xanatoes turned to glare at the young Jedi.

"What do you think your doing ?" he hissed.

"I'm baking cookies.." Obi-wan answered matter of factly.

"Don't toy with me Kenobi !! This is my house, my servants are to obey my rules. You had no business interfering in the matter. !!!"

"What matter?!!" Obi-wan cried in disbelief. "He didn't hear you call him..so what..?"

"He should have !!" Xanatos hollered, folding his arms and turning away from the young jedi.

  
  


"Oh Xanatos...." Obi-wan whispered "How cold you've grown..."

"What.." he blinked, that had not been the reaction he'd been expecting.

"You....you've become so cruel to the world, you truly don't feel anymore do you?"

"What good are emotions Kenobi..?" 

"They are a driving force in our life...what makes us tremble with joy....laugh with happiness....cry with pain. They make us who we are..."

"Oooo they make us who we are..." Xanatos sneered. "Well this is who I am Kenobi !! This is who my emotions made me !!!

"It doesn't have to be so Xanatos...people change." Obi-wan hesitated. "....I....I sense a good in you..."

The raven haired man turned to glare at him. " I 've learned to ignore my emotions...I can do without them..."

"No you can't..." Obi-wan sighed shaking his head. "Your heart will freeze over and die...but if you let your emotions guide you.."

"What good will come of it !!!" He snarled, slapping the tray from Obi-wan's hand. "What good..? How have they helped you Keno...." Xanatoes cringed, he hadn't meant to make it sound so hostile. He glanced down into Obi-wan's deep blue eyes and saw the storm of anguish brewing in them.

"Kenobi...I.." he stammered watching as the storm broke.

"You truly are cruel !!" Obi-wan shouted. "You haven't changed at all !!!" he dashed from the kitchen and fled to the safety of the gardens.

"Wait Kenobi, ...............wait..."

// Damn it !! You've done it now Xanatos !!!..// the raven haired man cursed himself, hurrying out after his charge.

"Kenobi wait please.!!!.." He called running down the walkway, thick with rose petals, pink and white. "Kenobi.." He stopped when he saw the young jedi leaning against a tree. 

"Kenobi...I.....I'm...sorry....................I shouldn't have said that...." he lowered his eyes, and whispered almost to himself. "Maybe I am truly cruel...." He stood silently, waiting for Obi-wan to reply to him. To turn and nod ....forgive him. Or even to yell again. But the jedi did not move.

"Kenobi...?" He walked round to face the young knight. "Kenobi !! .." he gasped.

Obi-wan's face was ashen, as he gripped the tree. Sweat trickled down his brow, past his eyes, which were wide with terror.

"What is it what's wrong..?" Xanatos cried grabbing his shoulder and shaking him. Obi-wan didn't appear to be in this world any longer. He stared through Xanatoes. As though he wasn't there.

"Obi-wan !!!"

"Uunn!!" Obi-wan's eyes focused again, his mouth moved making a gasping sound and he clutched his stomach.

"Obi-wan...?" Xanatos held back unsure weather to touch him or not.

"I...ne...need...to sit down...." 

Xanatos nodded, carefully helping him to the ground. "There....are you ok.." He gave a worried glance into Obi-wan's eyes. The fear in them had diminished, but there was still a shadow of anxiousness in them.

"Obi-wan..?"

"Un.............un...yesss.." Obi-wan breathed. "Hmmmm.... unnn" he gave a long sigh, closing his eyes and leaning back against the tree. He stayed still, eyes closed until he felt a hand upon his shoulder, and squeezing it gently. Fighting the haze of sleep he lifted his lids to see Xanatos staring down at him, with a look of apprehensive , worry

"Obi-wan..?" 

"I'm...ok." he whispered

"W...what just happened...?" he asked. Obi-wan could see that his eyes were glistening, as he wrung his hands in a nervous fashion.

// He was terrified about me...// he noted.

"I...strained myself. ...I think... I need more rest...."

Xanatos nodded wordlessly, and carefully gathered up the jedi in his arms, taking him back inside.

  
  
  
  


*****************************************************************************

  
  
  
  


"Thank you " Obi-wan said, once he was back in his bed.

"Y..you...your....welcome" Xanatos sat on the edge of the bed watching him quietly and fidgeting with his hands.

"Un......Obi-wan.....I...I'm sorry........for.....getting ..mad. It's..just...I....I'm...."

"Not use to having someone talk back..."

"...yes.." he nodded. finding sudden interest in the bed sheets.

"I'm sorry too, Xanatos.." Obi-wan sighed. "I can be a bit stubborn at times myself.."

The dark jedi gave him a knowing smirk.

"But what I said about kindness...would it really hurt so much to give a little ....?"

"What do you mean...?"

"Well, Jemez for instance. I know he works for you and serves you well and as a servant he should . But have you never noticed how he waits so eagerly for a word of praise and approval from you..? ...a word of thanks............every one likes to be appreciate .."

Xanatos thought back in his head to the many times Jemez had done things for him. 

// No...I never ...did.//

He looked at Obi-wan with a guilty expression on his face.

"No....I guess you didn't did you. " Obi-wan whispered quietly. " not so different from Qui-gon spoiling you with privileges, really. You are starving those around you for affection......you are starving yourself.... Simple gestures can mean so much..to people.

  
  


Xanatos's jaw clenched, as Obi-wan spoke . The jedi's words had hit a cord in him 

// Like him !!! Is that how you see me..?? like Qui-gon !!! NO NEVER !!!!! //

"I am nothing like Qui-gon !!!! " he roared, wrapping his hands about his throat and pinning Obi-wan to the mattress. His eyes glared daggers into the deep blue orbs that stared back at him, in surprise...? ....fear...? Maybe a little of both. He heard the springs groan and his weight pressed down on the jedi, forcing him further into the mattress.

"Xanatoes ...STOP !!!" Obi-wan screamed.

Xanotos leaned back the angry red haze disappearing from his vision. He looked to see Obi-wan staring up at him, his chest heaving. He had almost choked him..... 

A terror welled up in him... at the thought.

Stumbling backwards he got off the bed, and walked to the door. "You ....you'd better get some rest Kenobi...I'll be back later...." he said gruffly. Turning briskly, he slammed the door behind him. Leaving Obi-wan alone , with his thoughts once more.

  
  
  
  
  
  


To Be Continued......................... 


	13. The Code of Silence

The Rogue Jedi ------part 11

The Code Of Silence

"Like him !" How dare he think I am anything like Qui-gon Jinn !!! " Xanatos fumed, stomping back and forth the length of his private study.

"I am not like him, Nothing like him.!!!" he shouted to the stone walls, as if saying it aloud would make it so.

He came to a halt as he past the mirror on the wall. He studied his reflection.

A stern young man, with piercing blue eyes and a pale sculpted face, haloed by a river of black locks, that ran to his shoulders, stared back at him. There was a desperate anger in his eyes....but it wasn't at Obi-wan.............it was at himself. And he realized he regretted his behavior towards the jedi, was sorry for leaving him alone.

With a sigh, Xanatos sat down and put his head in his hands to think.

// Pull yourself together Xanatos !!! You are a business man first and for most. Obi-w .......no Kenobi is a part of your plan, you do not care about him !! //

// but you do.....//

A small voice in his head spoke. It was true in a way, Obi-wan was the first person whom he ever talked to, who he felt he could really talk to.....as an equal.

The young Jedi listened to him, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. And he spoke back, challenged Xanatos with his own ideas. He didn't just blindly accept like all those around him always did. 

//Which is why you were angry...somebody else had a different opinion and you couldn't accept that. You are a spoiled brat......//

Xanatos looked up into the mirror as the realization struck him. "He's right......." he whispered. "He's ...............right.."

*****************************************************************************

Obi-wan stared forlornly out of the window wondering when Xanatos, would be back.

He hadn't meant to anger the other man so.

// His rile for Qui-gon is much more intense than even I would have guessed.//

" Qui-gon, Xanatos...unnnggg, they are both so stubborn !! "

Obi-wan gave a shudder, as he remembered the incident by the tree. He had almost given himself away. Placing his hands on top of his stomach, he rubbed in a gentle circle, feeling a tingling go through his body.

"I am here my little one. " he murmured, thinking of the endless possibilities that could have happened. 

// I must be more careful. // he sighed, looking out the window once more. He ached inside to tell someone about the secret he was carrying with him.

// But I can not.. I have no one I can tell... certainly not Xanatos any way.....then who..? //

His mind swayed back to happy days with his Master. They had been in love.

//But Xanatos hate's Qui-gon..... I wonder how would he react if he knew I was carrying Qui-gon's child...?//

Obi-wan shuddered, Xanatos had been livid, over any mention of Qui-gon's name. The thought of him learning about his child....

He huddled himself into a ball, he didn't even want to think about the possibilities. A soft sob escaped him, as he felt a sudden weariness fall over him.

He was trapped. ....and alone once more. He wouldn't turn to Qui-gon, and he couldn't turn to Xanatos.

Trapped......alone....................and miserable.

*****************************************************************************

Jemez knocked quietly on the large door of his Masters study. 

"Come in.." Xanatos's voice echoed lifelessly though the wood of the door.

Entering , Jemez was greeted to the form of his Master laying ungraciously cross his chair, morbidly staring into the fire. 

Master..?" he asked looking at his face with some concern.

The dark Jedi looked tired as though he'd been fighting some exhausting battle for the last few hours. The small alien noted the dark circles under his Masters eyes and gave a nod of worry.

"Master would you care for some supper..?" He asked kindly.

"Yes....Jemez.." Xanatoes mumbled after a moment.

"I'll bring a plate up to you sir" He watched as his servant went to get his meal, feeling something he had never felt before.

It was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. A fluttering, and slightly queasy.

//Guilt.. //

"I feel....guilty..?.."

He blinked. He did.

// But why..?//

Jemez came back setting the try down on the desk in front of his Master.

"Here you are Master.." he said politely, stepping back and waiting for any further instructions..

Xanatos looked at him. Hearing Obi-wan's words from earlier come back to him.

// have you never noticed how eagerly he waits for your praise, for a simply thank you....//

Xanatos felt his grief swell. This is where he would tell his faithful servant to get lost, or ignore him or bark another command at his face....never.....never once..

He felt his stomach clench.

// Could Obi-wan be right..?......Maybe..?..// 

Looking up at Jemez he spoke. "I'm sorry..."

"What..?" the alien looked shocked.

"I'm sorry.....oh Jemez. How many long years have you served me, so kind and so well. And.....I never once.....said thank you...........................................I'm sorry..."

Jemez looked a t his Master for a long moment before giving a breathtaking smile 

" It is alright Master. I forgive...I forgive.."

Xanatos smiled , he felt as though a weight had been lifted from him. One he'd not known he'd been carrying. 

// You were right.....You were right Obi-wan...// 

He had to go talk with Kenobi .

To Be Continued..............

  
  



	14. Look Who's Got Control Of Me

The Rogue Jedi chap-12

  
  


Look Who's Got Control Of Me.

  
  


Xanatos was surprised when he entered Kenobi's room. He'd expected to come face to face with an angry Jedi. But certainly not one as upset as the man before him thrashing about on the bed.

"Obi-wan..?" He questioned.

The young man was crying hard, his face buried deep in his pillow.

The Jedi made no indication of having heard him. Xanatos cautiously made his way over to the bed.

"Obi-wan..?" he reached out , placing a hand on the others shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME !!!!" Obi-wan screamed out. Xanatoes jumped, yanking his hand back as though he'd been burned. He back away a few steps.

"Obi-wan..please.."

The young jedi, turned red rimmed eyes to him, before his resolve crumbled once more and he sunk down into the soft pillow, pressing his face against the tear stained fabric.

Xanatos was stunned , he'd seen Obi-wan cry before, usually over some silly longing for his Master. But it had always been a calm wistful mourning . Regrettful, but something he pulled out of. Not this.....this gut wrenching , heart broken wailing was almost physically painful to witness.

"Obi-wan.." He tried again, unsure of what to do. Would the Jedi lash out at him again, as he had a moment ago. He didn't know...but he had to do something.

Gently he clasp the shaking shoulders in his arms, and pulled Obi-wan up.

'Obi-wan !" he said, almost shouting to be heard over the young mans caterwauling.

"I.....unnhghh alone..un...nn..so.....alone.....mmmmnnnn h..help....help..mmmmmeeeee!!" Xanatos felt his heart ache. 

This poor miserable soul. He was in complete agony....and why..?

//Qui-gon !..//

He ground the name in his mouth like a curse.

// So you cause another poor soul to suffer do you.......oh Master YOU WILL PAY !!!..//

Turning his attention back to the distraught figure, in his arms, he tried to think of a way to settle him.

"Shhhhh Obi-wan.." he whispered., pulling him close. He tucked the man securely against his chest, rocking him gently and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. After awhile , the young jedi began to calm, falling into a light sleep., murmuring to himself.

"Shhhhhhh" Xanatos continued to sooth. Wiping the tears away from his cheeks. 

The soft blue eyes opened slightly looking up at him, before closing once more. And Obi-wan snuggled into the first warm embrace he'd had in a long time.

And that was how the night found him. The young sith lord sitting stone still, on the bed, holding the sleeping close to him. Feeling the steady rhythm his heart beat, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

Xanatos looked down at the peaceful face resting against his shoulder. He had helped this fragile creature, cared even....

He felt a feeling go though him, it was strange to him. Helping another was not what he did. And yet he had.

// I didn't even know I could do...what I did..//

He'd never held another like that in his life, never felt the desire to give comfort to another. Yet with Kenobi...it had felt like the most natural thing in the world. 

He smiled when the jedi yawned in his sleep pulling closer. Brushing a lock of the snowy hair out of the way Xanatos felt his heart begin to melt.

"I'm in deep...'' he sighed.

  
  


To Be Continued................................


	15. Secrets after Midnight

The Rogue Jedi chap 13 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Secrets after Midnight

  
  
  
  
  
  


It was late the next morning when Obi-wan's eyes gently fluttered open.

"Hmm..." He mumbled trying to bring the blurry world around him into focus.

After a few vain moments of trying to wake up, he gave in and let sleep take hold of him once more, snuggling back against his pillow.

// Hold on.....something's not right here...?..// Obi-wan's mind poked sluggishly at his thoughts.

// My pillow........it's.....breathing.!!!!!!!!!"

"Urrkk!" Obi-wan yelped pulling away from the mound next to him, and shoving it off the bed.

Ahh!" a muffled cry, sounded from the strewn blankets, and out popped a mussed up head of raven hair.

"Xanatoes !!" Obi-wan gasped.

"Ow,....un...good morning to you too.." he groaned rubbing his head.

Obi-wan frowned about to make a verbal reply, when his eyes screwed up, and he blanched.

Taking the que , Xanatos grabbed the Jedi by the shoulders and held a large basin as Obi-wan violently brought up the contents of his stomach.

"Un...uh..." he panted when he was at lat able to breath. "X....Xan.."

"Here..take this.." the dark Jedi murmured offering him a glass of water.

Obi-wan took a small sip, thankful when it didn't come back up. He sat silently for a few moments before turning to regard his companion.

"I didn't think you liked..sickness.." he asked, watching as Xanatos sat the basin on a side table and came to sit back on the bed.

"I don't...believe me that still grosses me out..." he said wrinkling his nose in distaste. "But.."

"But...?" Obi-wan cocked an eyebrow, and giving Xanatos a questioning look.

"But.." he cast his eyes down ward, looking a little embarrassed. "I thought...you might... that you.....that is....un....you know.."

"Thank you." Obi-wan smiled touched by the gesture. Xanatos nodded, wringing the bed sheets nervously. Obi-wan watched him as sudden thought played across his mind, his lips turned up slightly into a smirk. "You know it's not every day someone supports me in my vomiting ritual..." Xanatos turned to him, looking taken back before he started giggling and Obi-wan found himself laughing despite his best effort not to.

After awhile the laughter stopped and Xanatos eyed him with a scrutinizing gaze.

"What,,?" Obi-wan asked, A little fear returning into his heart at the look the dark jedi was giving him.

"You're not sick...are you..?" it was more a statement then a question.

Obi-wan froze. It was the word's he'd been dreading all along.

// What do I say....what do I say...?//

"I..I.." He tried to speak as a million voices seemed to have suddenly opened up into his mind.

// Tell him..//

// NO ..!! you can't..!!//

// Tell him..!!.//

// You Can't !!!...//

// But you should !..//

Obi-wan hesitantly looked up, into the face of the man sitting next to him, deep into the eyes of his worst enemy, and his dear savior. 

And he saw something flicker in them, something that hadn't been there mere days ago.

"No..." he sighed "I'm not sick.."

Xanatos nodded at this answer, waiting for him to continue. When it was oblivious Obi-wan was not gong to speak, he pressed again.

"What is it then..? ... all this throwing up, your fainting, it's been almost two months...," he looked worried and genuinely perplexed, as if he couldn't fit the last piece of a puzzle together.

" Obi-wan, you seem so..." he waved his hands looking to pick the right word from the air, before sighing in defeat and letting them drop into his lap., "You just seem so upset, and it's not just over Qui-gon...your stronger then that......it's something else. What is it , what's going on..?"

Obi-wan bit back a sob, he should have known Xanatos would have figured it out sooner or later, the man was not stupid. O f course he would have been suspicious of the mood swings and the constant sickness. But what surprised him was that Xanatos seemed to be concerned about him.

Obi-wan stared at his hands, his head still muddled in chaos and doubt .

// Do I tell him, no I can't ..but maybe... oh Qui-gon..why could you be here....why..//

he felt a tear slide down his cheek. All the weeks of silence and worry, the whole heartache of it all had worn him so much.....

To finally have someone ask him...................

Xanatos reached an arm out to the other man. He hadn't meant to get him all upset again. But he was starting to get distressed over all of this, something wasn't sound. And he didn't like it.

"Obi-wan.."

"Obi-wan turned a tear streaked face up to his.

"I'm pregnant..." 

To Be Continued........


	16. One By one all alone

The Rogue Jedi -part 14

"Excuse me?" Xanatos asked. The jedi had spoken so quietly, he was sure he must have heard him incorrectly.

"I'm pregnant" Obi-wan said more slowly.

Xanatos blinked a couple of times, before a look of annoyance came to his face.

" Hey if you don't wanna tell me what's going on then just say so" he groaned. "Or at least make your lie a half decent, and believable one ..geez....." he ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head and chuckling to himself "I'm pregnant,... that's a good one Kenobi, .... "

Obi-wan sighed as the raven haired man continued to chatter on. Pushing the blankets off, he began to unbutton his night shirt.

"Ya, very good...next your gonna be telling me you work for the tooth fairYEEEE!!!" Xanatos cried leaping up from the edge of the bed, and landing in a heap on the floor "FORCE and STARS !!" he gasped "You're serious !! I'm mean you're pregnant.......for real !!!"

The dark jedi sat dumb stuck where he had fallen, gaping at the young man sitting on the bed in front of him. His mouth was moving but , no sound was forthcoming..to his lips.

If he opens his eyes any wider, I swear they're going to pop out...

Obi-wan smiled deciding to speak first, as Xanantos seemed incapable of doing so.

He leaned forward to address the man, "Didn't you ever wonder about my....um.... expanding..?" Obi-wan asked gesturing to his rounded middle.

"I thought you were just getting fat !" Xanatos blurted in exasperation.

"I beg your pardon !!!" Obi-wan, huffed at the insult, narrowing his brows in a glare.

"Sorry...really, I didn't mean it like that... !!!" Xanatos back peddled from the glare, bringing his hands up in surrender.

"Humph !" Obi-wan folded his arms across his stomach, annoyed by the mans lack of common courtesy.

Of all the rude things to say...!!

He chanced glance over his shoulder when he felt the bed dip with Xanaoto's weight.

..what...oh I don't believe this .!! He's staring at me !!..Obi-wan felt his ire grow. The dark jedi was sitting on the far end of the bed, his eyes wide as saucers and his mouth hanging open. He looked like the proverbial fish out of water.

"What !" Obi-wan snapped, turning to face the spellbound man.

"Y...you're...pre..g..nant.."

"Yes" he ground out between clamped teeth.

"Um..." Xanatos cocked his head, seemingly at a loss for words. A first in his life.

" how....?......how is that possible..?" he asked still staring at the jedi in front of him.

"I mean I know how how ....but...you're a man.............aren't you..?" he gulped, coving his head fearing a blow from one enraged jedi. Surprisingly none came.

Obi-wan sighed, finding a calm center before answering his question. "Yes I am....technically anyway."

"Technically...?" Xanatos looked confused.

"I'm ambiguous, all people on my planet are. On a place as cold and barren as Hoth, it's difficult to find many other beings, being a hermaphrodite just increases your chances of continuing the species I guess.

" But you could just leave Hoth, if you wanted to find a partner..."

"Ahh, but I'm afraid mother nature didn't know that when she wrote the book.

Our planet adapted my people for such hardships, like I said in such a barren land, it's a survival tool.

Xanatos stared at the man as though he'd just told him, the moon was really made of cheese, and Santa vacationed there in the off season.

Obi-wan shifted uncomfortably under the man's unwavering gaze.

"Xanatos please don't look at me like that..." he sighed.

"Huh..?" The dark jedi shook himself from his stupor. And with great difficulty pulled his gaze away from Obi-wan's abdomen where they had been resting. He looked the young jedi in the eye. Seeing his uncertainty mirrored back at him on the gentle porcelain face.

"Umm" The Dark Jedi was at a loss for what to say. He wrung his hands looking at his shoes, at the window, anywhere but at the figure on the bed in front of him.

things just keep getting more and more interesting.

Xanatoes, let his gaze drift back to you young jedi. His eyes quickly falling once more to Obi-wan's lap. Gazing quietly at the small lump protruding up under the thin fabric of his night shirt.

A sudden strange curiosity, took hold of him, and without thinking he reach forward.

"I...um...Obi-wan....may I ..?" he asked as an after thought.

Obi-wan nodded, pulling back the covers, and Xanatoes placed his hand lightly on his mid-section.

Xanatoes found himself smiling, and he couldn't think how to stop it. This was truly an amazing sensation.

There is a life growing inside of him. A small being, created by two people who...................two people..!

His smile faltered as Xanatoes was thrown back into reality.

No...it can't be....but...who else..

He took a deep breath, composing himself, as he brought his eyes up to met companions. He looked deep into the bright blue eyes.

"Obi-wan.." he asked at last.

"Yes.."

"The father..." it wasn't a question, more than an affirmation. Obi-wan felt his blood go cold.

"Yes, Xanatos" he whispered, knowing he didn't have to say the who they were both thinking of.

Xanatos got up, prowling the room for several long minutes, his back to Obi-wan.

The jedi, shrank down into the covers, as he listened to the other man mutter under his breath.

Finally he stopped by the window, looking out over the vast forests, in the grey, dreary day before he turned back to look over his captive, a strange light shining in his eyes.

"I see"

To Be Continued ...........


	17. I didn't want to need you

The Rogue Jedi Chap 15

I Didn't Want to Need You

* * *

"Damn You !!!" Xanatos cried . "Damn you to hell, Qui-gon!!" he roared kicking over a chair. "Even in your absence you still manage to find ways to torment me !! Bastard !!" 

He stalked over to the far wall wrenching open the cabinet drawers and smashing several bottles of fine wine to the ground before prying his knuckles into the back of the base board and tipping the whole shelf with a mighty crash.

The dark jedi, stalked over to his desk, viciously running his fingers through his tangled hair. Too angry to even flinch as he ripped several knotted strands out.

"How dare you..." he seethed, his finger nails scraping long lines into the deep mahogany wood of his desk. "You.......you take everything from me..... My training .... my life. Everything... everything that I hold dear, you have stolen. Well no more...........NO MORE !!!" he snarled, smashing the lamp into the far wall and watching as it slid to the floor in a million pieces.

Xanatoes, nostrils flared as he screamed to his invisible assailant. " no more .." his voice had fallen to a mere whisper., his arms held rigid at his sides, flexing and un-flexing the muscles.

" I will keep what is mine..." he hissed, into the dark as if daring someone to challenge him. "Do you hear..?... Mine !! I shall keep what is mine Qui-gon....Bastard, You shall not have him, You are not worthy OBI-WAN IS MINE !!!!!" he screamed.

"!...." he

he gasped as the confession left his lips. Surely he had made a mistake, caught up in the moment , he'd merely said something before he'd had time to think it over. Right...?

"Obi-wan.... I don't...I ...no" he felt his insides freeze up on him. "No it can't be...." he collapsed to his knees on the floor, as his legs went week on him. "No it can't.... this wasn't part of the plan..." he clutched his chest as the cruel irony of the situation suddenly hit him.

**_I never gave my heart to anyone use to think love was but a game_**

**_I use to tease and mock it just for fun. Now_**__ **_it's just not the same_**__.

/_/_Kenobi... my secret weapon...I love....NO ..no...it couldn't.../_/ _

Xanatos, felt his heart sink into his stomach, as he grasped his head between his hands, giving his long ebony his a painful pull.

"When.....when did this happen...? I ... How..? How did I let this happen...?" he he stopped yanking on his hair running his hands over his face, and massaging his throbbing temples.

/_/_When did I start to care...?/_/_ He fell back on to the seat of his pants.

Xanatos, feared enemy of the whole Jedi order...had fallen in love...

And with a jedi no less......

"No...no.. no....no....nooo..." the raven haired man moaned as he crumbled to the floor, his energy, leaving him like a deflated balloon. He let his face lay pressed against the tile floor, his eyes shut tightly. Maybe if lay here long enough he would get lucky, and the floor might suddenly swallow him up into the peacefulness of oblivion.

* * *

"Master ?" Jemez asked cautiously some time later, when he'd found his master, still laying face down on the floor, with his private study in ruins.

"Jemez," Xanatos sighed, pulling himself unsteadily, up from the floor. He turned, red swollen eyes to the small alien servant.

"Master are you alright sir,?"

"Y...Yes...please.....t.. tell Obi-wan to get himself ready." he dark jedi stuttered, wiping his eyes. " we are leaving tonight. ..... For Corasant"

Jemex's eyes widened, at his masters sudden wishes, but he obediently nodded and left the study to fill the request.

Xanatos waited until he was alone once more before he staggered over the his window to compose himself.

/_/_Obi-wan ...it seems I must act quickly if I am to take my revenge on our dear Master. Don't worry after I finish with Qui-gon...you and I ....!/_/_

"you and I...?." Xanatos shook his head. Running a shaky hand through his raven locks, he fell into the large armchair by the hearth.

/_/_when did it ever become you and I ..?/_/_

He tried to pinpoint it, think back though his life, it had always been just himself, him and nobody else for as long as he could remember.

Until, that fateful night a couple months ago. It had brought about so many changes.

Xanatos began to feel a nervous stirring in his stomach, both terrifying and exciting all at once.

/_/_Somehow, Obi-wan ... you managed to wriggle your way into my heart./_/_

He sat staring into the darkness of the room, thinking of his life long ago, his life as a jedi , and about his time spent with one jedi in particular. The silence broken only by his own uneven breaths.

/_/_I liked spending time with him./_/ _Xanatos admitted to himself.

/_/he_ _makes you happy_./_/_. a voice whispered through him.

"Yes.."

/_/He makes you whole_../_/_

"yes.." he croaked.

**_When we spent time together, didn't think ti meant that much._**

**_But it seems as though I can't live without your touch._**

Burying his face into his hands, as the truth hit him. "I love..." It was the most frightening moment of his life .

"God's why !!" Oh Obi-wan !.." he cried in frustration, just thinking about the young jedi, feeling the rush that the mere thought of him brought.

He sighed. Knowing he was pitiful and pretty mush incapable of showing others how he truly felt .especially now . It felt as though his heart and soul were being pulled in several different directions .

/_/I'm being an idiot_./_/_

/_/you love him_../_/_

/_/yes_/_/_

/_/no_/_/_

/_/tell him_/_/_

/_/No you don't love him_../_/_

/_/can't you feel it_/_/_

/_/you fooling yourself, people like you don't feel love_../_/_

/_/people change_./_/_

/_/Yes_/_/_

/_/your unworthy._./_/_

/_/fool_/_/_

/_/tell him_../_/_

Xanatos slid to his knees, by the window, letting the moons light softly fall over him as he wept. He'd been alone for so long, he truly wasn't sure he could love, and now, this..these feelings.. They scared him.

/_/stick with the plan._.../_/_

/_/you love him_../_/_

The voices in his head, continued to warred with each other as the young man, curled up on the cold stone floor, still veiled by the moonlight.

**_I didn't want to need you,_**

**_I don't want to want you like I do._**

**_I didn't mean to fall, _**

**_I didn't want to care at all_**

**_I didn't want to love you_**

**_Like I love you now_**.

Xanatos pulled himself to his feet.

"Why..? Why now..? I've never felt this way before." he thought it over in his head, till his skull began to throb.

For a man like himself, a man whom had never been held captive by anything so primitive as emotion, who had never felt the need for another, this was a horrible crutch to him.

/_/_to love it to be weak......is it not..?/_/_

"why am I second guessing myself..?"

Brushing himself off, he headed to the door, he needed some air, and a little room to think.

* * *

Slowly he made his way through, the large, quiet fortress. All was silent, dark, safely shadowing his presence from the world around him. He walk on aimlessly, padding down one long empty hall after another, the darkness welcoming him like an old friend, swallowing him whole.

/_/_These halls... they're a lot like my life. Dark cold....hollow and empty./_/_ he tilted his head listening. Silence.

/_/_Is that why..?/_/_

his heart tightened.

_"_Lonely...? I'm lonely. I want someone to share my life with. I.....i want to be loved.." he whispered. The realization becoming clearer to him every second. "I want to be loved. !"

**_There was nothing I ever desired._**

**_And no one did I need._**

**_Now I want you here beside me._**

**_Never thought that this could be._**

It was almost dawn when Xanatos heard footsteps coming up behind him. He turned from his perched on the garden bench.

* * *

"Hey" Obi-wan greeted him.

"..un..hey.." He gave a small smile before turning to watch the ripples of water dance across the surface of the pond.

The silence stretch for an uncomfortably long amount of time before Obi-wan cleared his throat, sitting down next him.

"So....Jemez, told me we were heading back to...to Corasant.." Obi-wan said, his voice was low full of uncertainty.

Out of the corner of his eyes Xanatos watched as the young jedi, chewed is lower lip in concentration.

"Un ya ...I have some ...business to do" he shrugged. "Besides, this planet is pretty boring.."

Obi-wan nodded, it was one thing he could agree on. He looked out over the vast forest, the first rays of sunlight catching in his hair and eyes, and making him look as though he were carved from precious stones.

Xanatos held back a sigh, as he watched him, his padawan braid, undone at the moment, caught the breeze and danced in the air about his face. Even in profile he was beautiful.

Obi-wan turned away from the forest, looking as though he had heard Xanatos thoughts.

/_/_impossible.....he can't.. hear my thought's..../_/_

With Obi-wan now looking at him, Xanatos noticed for the first time, the slight puffiness of his eyes.

/_/_he's been crying again../_/_

" It will be a good change Obi-wan.." he said, attempting to brighten the jedi's sprits.

"Besides, you're gonna have a baby soon. I wanna make sure you have the best medical team available to you."

Obi-wan looked startled. "You...you mean, you don't mind....Qui-gon is the father..?"

"Yes....I mean NO !" Xanatos, screwed up his courage. He wanted to say a million things, but was at a loss as to how to say what he felt. So he shrugged.

"As long as he doesn't have ol'Master Jinn's nose I think he'll be ok..."

Obi-wan was looking at him strangely. "You mean you want us to stay?'

"I..?" Xanatos hesitated. This was a huge step.

/_/think about the responsibility..!!_/_/_

**_I have always been free _**

**_To be the me that was me_**

**_To leave when I wanna leave_**

**_And stay where I wanna be_**

****

He felt his heart begin to race as a warm feeling flooded through his veins.

/_/_I want to be wanted...I need to be needed../_/_

"You really want us to stay with you?" Obi-wan asked agin.

**_Now it's no longer up to me_**

"Yes" he whispered

**_And I didn't want to need you like I do_**__

To Be Continued......

* * *

PS Song "**I didn't want to need you**" is the property of **Heart**


	18. Fallen From Grace

* * *

The Rogue Jedi part --16 

**Fallen From Grace.**

Sorry about the format. thoughts are gonnabe in** bold and underlined**

Song inserts are **_bold italics_**

* * *

The small sleek ship made it's way quickly through the silent darkness of space. 

In his room, Obi-wan sat staring out at the stars as they fleeted past his port window.

Coruscant. He was headed back to Coruscant. The very place he had been trying to get away from.

Some small part of him wished to run to Xanatos and beg him to turn the ship around and head somewhere else. Anywhere else. And yet strangely another small part of him was looking forward to going home.

**Is it my home anymore...?**he wondered. Certainly Coruscant was home to any who wished to make it theirs...but what about the temple.

**Am I still welcome....? I am a rogue after all...and allied with certain unwelcome company.**

**_I'm left with all these memories , but nothing fills the space. _**

**_Of our love that once was, that's fallen from grace._**

He laid down on his bed, weary from the travel, as well as the thoughts plaguing his mind. He was sure his friends, Bant, Garin, Reeft... even Siri would be happy to see him, but what of his former Master. Would Qui-gon be inviting of a rogue into a home that was no longer his...?

**I wonder if he even misses me..?** Obi-wan sighed. **No.... probably too caught up in the glory of training his chosen one to even notice I was gone..**

He got up and began to pace the small room. Walking to the bureau drawer, he pulled out a beige tunic and grey leggings and began to dress for the day. Pulling off his night shirt he paused to look at himself in the mirror. There were no major differences per say from before he'd left Coruscant. His hair was longer, the padawan braid hanging well past his hip by now. His eyes bore the most dramatic change, if one knew what to look for they would thus see it's absence. His eyes were worn, dimmed by the months of constant strain on his heart, they had become bleak, their radiant sparkle having died and been swallowed up by the despair that now ate away at their owners soul.

His hands fell to his stomach, rubbing smooth circles across the bulge that had grown there. He felt the warm tingling sensation travel through his body.

**Patience little one** he let his hands travel up his chest, to his neck, rubbing the kinks out.

" Hmm" his hand touched a smooth object tied about his neck. Opening his eyes he studied the small black and red stone, lifting closer to his face.

It was the river rock that Qui-gon had given him for his very first birthday. It had sealed his fate. From that day forward he had been Qui-gon's first as his apprentice and later as his lover and soul mate.

**It was a love I'd thought was to last forever...but it's like me...fallen from grace...**

Obi-wan felt the fresh wash of tears as the only to familiar emptiness returned to him.

**_I pray for the love that's fallen from grace, the tears left behind won't wash from my face._**...

* * *

The ship landed in one of the many busy ports of Corusant. Xanatos, Obi-wan and Jemez put on their travel cloaks and went down the ramp into the crowd of the marketplace. 

Obi-wan couldn't stop himself from glancing around as they made their way through the bustling streets.

He'd been down here so many times with Qui-gon, it felt kind of eerie.

Over there, we ate at Didi's Café.. And over in that building we help solve a mission with Tahl"

**_Every little reminder seems to come and call, _**

**_Every little trace of you. Oh I've found them all._**

**_I close my eyes it's all I can do_**

**_Cause everywhere I look I see some part of you.._**

"Obi-wan..?" Xanatos voice suddenly whispered close to the young jedi's ear.

"Wha..?" Obi-wan blinked.

"Sorry to startle you, but you were wondering off. Are you sure you're alright..? We can rest a bit if you're tired."

"Hmmm no ..no...I'm sorry.. I just...thanks .."

"Ok." he nodded, reaching out a hand uncertainly before pulling it back. **Better not push it..**

Obi-wan let his mind drift off again as they continued down through the streets.

He replayed his memories , as he walked quietly beside an equally quiet Xanatos. He was too engrossed in his thoughts to notice the glances that the dark jedi gave him every few moments.

**I left after our fight......never tried to stop me.....never stopped myself..**

**_I've been though every reason, but it all ends same_**

**_we're both left alone which one of us is to blame._**

"Obi-wan..?"

"Huh.." Obi-wan , jumped when he heard the voice crash into his thoughts once more.

He looked into ice blue eyes shining with concern.

"Xanatos, I'm so sorry. I ... I was ....somewhere else." He bit his lip, casting his eyes down to his feet and chastened himself for getting caught off guard twice.

**Keep your head on Obi-wan**..he snapped at himself.

" YA, I kinda guessed .." Xanatos replied. He'd given up trying to make small talk with the jedi some time ago.

" Oh Xanatos , I'm sorry. I've been really rude ignoring you all this time"

" You have a lot on your mind" he said solemnly "I know this place probably has many memories for you.....it has many for me.."

"Yes...it certainly does.." Obi-wan mumbled. He began to play with his braid in a nervous fashion, feigning an interest in it he didn't feel, until a hand reached up and caught his hand.

Taking his fingers from the knotted braid, and placing them back by his side. Obi-wan tentivly raised his eyes to meet the owner of those hands..

Xanatos smiled "I know what you're feeling.... it's ok. Come on, lets go inside and get unpacked. You must be tired."

"Yes" Obi-wan agreed, letting him escort him in and up the stairs of a grand building.

**I never would have believed this to be happening. Here I am in a fine home, living with a dark jedi, I myself am a rogue carrying my masters child...what else can happen..?**

"Here's your room, I hope it's to your liking.." Xanatos gestured, stepping aside to reveal a large bed chamber tastefully done in various shades of blue and purple.

"It's beautiful...thank you...thank you Xanatos.." Obi-wan said, feeling tears of gratitude prick his eyes.

"For what..?"

"For everything.."Obi-wan smiled hugging him tightly. 'You don't know how much it means to me."

"Unn.." Xantoes shrugged, taking a step back. "No problem.... well un.. I'll let you get settled..then...ok.." He gave an awkward wave goodbye and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Left to himself in the room , Obi-wan set about putting his things in their proper places, before kneeling down on the floor to meditate on the recent events of his life, and hopefully find some peace of mind in it all. 

All this is so strange..he thought as he focused on his feelings filtering through the jumbled mess of emotions, his heart did not lie, it would not lie to him all he need do was ask.

**How do I feel..? ..Truly feel...**

In his mind a vague image of his mater swirled before him.

**Qui-gon ... how do I feel..? I'm disappointed at least with you master, and somewhat at myself ...but when I think of Xanatos and how horrible things could have gotten ....I'm much relived.**

**The boy, I can't even begin to think about, least I feel a welling up of anger, we jedi are not supposed to indulge ourselves in. And yet through all this another feeling, like mist clouding my mind and making me lose my way... I feel I'm being deceived somehow....**

**_Deceived_**

It hung in his mind like a warning.

**deceived... by whom..?** Obi-wan wondered. **Qui-gon?...a little late for that warning**. **Anakin, no warning needed. Xanatos..?** Obiwan felt a chill

**No he's changed.. I'm sure of it..**

* * *

Xanatos flopped down on his bed, rubbing his eyes. He'd been watching Obi-wan carefully all day making sure that he wasn't to distressed from the move. 

Surely coming back was gonna cause a bit of a stir , at least that was what Xanatos had thought was going to happen, but Obi-wan was as always the faithful little jedi steadfast to suffer his sadness and misery in silence, never letting on that he was any worse for the waer.

The dark jedi had seen him give a careful glance longing up at the temple for the briefest of moments as they past by before turning away as if were unworthy to behold such a site.

**Or perhaps it just hurts too much to remember..**

Xanatos yawned again. He was exhausted he could barley keep his eyes open. He grinned happily , locking his arms and resting his chin on them.

Obi-wan seems to be growing closer to me..he felt his heart quicken when he thought of the young jedi.

**But what to do next..? Where do I go from here...? Obi-wan...do I want..him..? Yes..but ..what about the plan.....?**

He sighed.

**_Never thought that this would be me , love is so demanding _**

**_Now I'm living it, and learning it, but never really understanding_**

* * *

It was quiet save for the bubbling of the many fountains in the room. 

Qui-gon sighed as he eased himself down in a meditation stance. Closing his eyes he tried to collect his thoughts and find his center, seek his calm.

But his thoughts were evasive, leaking through his gasp like the droplets of water from the fountains around him. His mind kept calling him back to his troubles.

**Obi-wan..**

He wearily opened his eyes, gazing up at the water spilling sad and lonely down the rocks into the deep pools below.

Despite his promise to avoid the fountain room, it seemed that he would often find himself here after every long day, every nightmare.... every memory that wouldn't be quieted.

**It was my fault Obi-wan, we were truly something to be reckoned with....but, my own stubborn pride got in the way, I was an idiot..... I destroyed us.**

**_Shattered dreams and memories left hanging over me ._**

**_My fault, my cross to bear, for when love cools._**

**_I'm left with a crown of thorns, for a king of fools._**

* * *

To Be Continued....... 

"**Fallen from grace**" is the property of Heart.


	19. A Vision in the Night

**Vision in the Night**

"Haven't you figured it out yet Kenobi..? Ha ! Some jedi...some jedi..!" the haunting voiced laughed.

"Stop, Who are you ?.." Obi-wan shouted running in pursuit of the shadowy figure.

"Come back and show yourself, I demand to know who you are...and what you want..!"

Obi-wan raced around the corner the shadow had fled a moment ago, crashing into a solid wall. Pain exploded in front of his eyes as he shook his head to clear it.

"Ha ha ha" a deep hollow voice chuckled at him in amusement.

Obi-wan gasped as he looked up at the source, staring at the monstrous creature which towered over him.

Large wicked looking black boots racked the ground as he stepped forward, black cloak swallowing up the rest of him, coming to a broad shoulder upon which rested a gruesome mask covering its bearers face with a blank hard stare frozen in a black visor. From time to time there was a deep exhale of air from the thing, and then an inhale perfectly programmed and synced.

"Breathing...it's ...alive...? Obi-wan relized. It seemed human... but so misshapen and gnarled and twisted by metal...he could think of no name to call it save for.

"Sith" he hissed

"Yes we have met...Kenobi...You feared me then too...as you do now.." the voice rasped out of the mask a cold unnatural sound , as warped and distorted from anything even vaguely human as was the heartless metallic body which produced it.

Obi-wan felt his blood chill, as he recognized the voice. Even through the mangled garble of electronics and mask he knew that horrific voice.

"Anakin.."

"No...not Anakin, not anymore, Anakin died...you helped kill him. Now there is only Vader, there is only me...and I shall not stop until the jedi have been eliminated. Ha ha ha "

Obi-wan growled getting to his feet. "No. You won't succeed, not while I'm alive. I will stop you, so help me if I must give my life to stop you...I will"

In an instant Obi-wan found himself pinned to the alley wall unable to move an inch."You how dare you sith, betrayer, you shall not turn me, your kind will never win,I will never submit to such darkness. You shall not have my soul!"

Vader walked up to him, the dark mask tilting to look him in the eye. He whispered solemnly into his ear "Behold the truth, jedi.I already own your soul !I am your destiny, your destruction your doom... I own you...you are mine..! The shadow leapt at him, a long bright red blade coming towards his chest.

"You are mine. You and all you hold dear!"

"NOOOOOOO!" Obi-wan screamed bolting upright from his bed. He sat still a moment a hand to his chesttrying to calm his breathing.

/ Another vision...I can't ignore this anymore. Despite what I said I must go back to the temple and warn them. Yoda, I'll tell Yoda, he'll know what to do. I know he'll believe me, even if Qui-gon won't./

He pulled the covers back, getting up from the tangled bed sheets and looking out the window. The sun was just starting to set, and Obi-wan realized it was evening already.

/ I must have slept for a couple of hours...but../ he turned looking perplexed at the floor then to the bed. / I don't remember going to bed ...I was meditating wasn't I?../

Running a hand through his hair Obi-wan sighed as he headed out the door. / great as if I don't have enough to worry about now I'm getting pre-mature senility /

* * *

"Ah here we are Jemez, all settled in" Xanatos sighed leaning back in one of the large armchairs, that occupied the spacious living room. He had been in a particularly good mood upon arriving, and had even gone so far as to help unpack and put some of the things away. Much to his servants astoundment. 

It was now early evening and the two had been sitting in the parlor for a few moments when Jemez asked " How's Master Obi-wan feeling?" a note of concern touched his voice.

"He'll be alright. He's just tired that's all" Xantos said nonchalantly, a small chuckle escaping him. "Heh, the poor guy fell asleep meditating I found him snoozing on the floor when I went to check on him."

"Oh..Goodness" Jemez cried looking shocked at his Masters light hearted telling of the events "Is he alright.?"

"Of course Jemez, I put him in his bed...hmm should wake him up for dinner though. But I guess it's better to let him sleep. He obviously needs it.."

Jemez looked at him with something almost resembling anger,though much more intense.

"I would think so Master after all you've done" he replied curtly.

Xanatoes stared at the small alien. "What's that supposed to mean...?" he asked in a wary voice.

"You know what I mean, how you've been treating him. Ever since we found him, you've been playing him up, pretending to be his friend, saying that you cared about him. Then you'd go off on those horrible tantrums at him. It was bad enough when you had your fits with me sir, but to do so to him, knowing his condition..." Jemez stopped his fists clenched as he glared at the man.

For a brief moment it seemed as though the servant was going to attack his master, but then just and quickly as it had come his anger died away , and the shoulders slumped. Jemez looked up at Xanaotes with sad eyes, eyes which still held a defiant anger to them as he spoke.

"You know when you announced that he and his child were staying I almost believed you had changed, I thought you truly cared about him..."

Xanatoes stood his mouth agape, he couldn't believe what Jemez was saying.

/ I do care...can't you see that I care, I care **too** much that's the problem../

He opened his mouth to say so but could only manage a growl of "Your forgetting your place again Jemez" he felt his emotions surge, and his vision haze over as they overtook his senses.

The small alien wouldn't be stopped. "I truly thought you cared, then you go and do a thing like this , dragging him here. **Here** of all places, and in his condition" he stopped taking a deep breath, before continuing in a slow quiet hiss. "All this misery just so you can get back at your Master, a Master you **know** he still loves. You never gave a damn about what would happen to him or the child just as long as you got what you wanted."

Xanatoes saw his would go red. / how dare you say that. He doesn't love Qui-gon ! Qui-gon is a fool ! I will make him love me/ he wanted to shout these things out but he'd be damned if he'd let Jemez know he cared. Instead he took the defensive.

The dark jedi grabbed Jemez by he shirt "Your right ! I don't love him ! You knew my plan Jemez. I will destroy Qui-gon with the help of his little padawan prince. Then my revenge will be complete.

"And what about Obi-wan, what about his child..?" Jemez spat

"What about Obi-wan, throw him on a desolate planet for all I care. Let him..."

"Xanatos..." a small voice came from the doorway. Both occupants of the room turned to see the young jedi staring in the door frame.

/uh no../ Xanatos felt his stomach turn to ice.

"Obi-wan ...I..."

"You...you lied to me.." Obi-wan said flatly "The whole time...everything you said.."

"No...no Obi-wan please..."

"And like an idiot I believed you..." turning he ran down the hallway out the heavy oak doors and into the approaching darkness.

Xanatos turned helplessly to look at Jemez. The small alien shook his head in disgust. "I resign Master I can't stand being in your presence any longer."

"Wha... no.. but...Jemez help me" he grabbed his servant by the shoulders "...I do care...please..I don't know why I have to pretendotherwise all the time but you got to believe me I truly care about Kenobi." Xanatos released his servants shoulder to slump in a chair

Jemez looked at him still unsure. "You've let your hate consume you, your need for revenge against this Maters of yours has pushed away and tarnished all things that you may have held dear. Let go of this hate Master...learn how to live."

"It's my fault... I let my desire for revenge get in the way of my concern for Obi-wan.. I could have hurt him...Jemez he's out there at night what shall I do..?"

The alien looked at him, "do you really care about him Xanatoes?"

The dark jedi shook his head vigorously.

"Then the answer should be obvious.." he stated heading out the doorway.

Xanatos thought a moment. "I must tell him, I must apologize. I have to tell him the truth, and tell him how I feel ...he's gonna hate me."

/ he already hates you../

"No I'll find him. Obi-wan I 've changed... come back please..." Xanatos ran out into the night determined to find one jedi in all of the city.

* * *

To be continued... 


	20. Under the Sky

The Rogue Jedi chapter 19

**Under the sky**

* * *

/ Lied, he lied to me ...everybody lies./ Obi-wan's frustrated mind screamed, as he ran through the city streets; the cool night air strangely soothing on his bare arms. 

Turning into a small park, he sat down on one of the benches.

"Why..was I so foolish..?" he berated himself "How could I..have...I trusted him..**HIM**...Xanatos! Qui-gon's worst enemy. I trusted Qui-gon too..." Obi-wan wiped the tears from his eyes angrily " I don't deserve to be a jedi, ...trusting a sith. Force I must be the most galactically stupid being on the planet tonight"

He sat staring up at the stars miserably until he felt a voice whispering softly into his mind

/ Come Obi-wan come and talk we will..hmmm/

/Mater Yoda../ Obi-wan's mind cried out, as he jumped up from his seat on the bench, his heart feeling lighter than it had in days. / Master it's so good to hear your voice again / he almost choked, now that he was back he came to realize how deeply he had missed the temple and it's inhabitants.

/Come Young Kenobi...come and talk we shall../

/Yes Master.../ Obi-wan replied gratefully, his legs already taking him towards the temple. He truly needed to talk with someone, and right now the though of once again seeing the face of his dear old master Yoda was enough to lend wings to his feet and carry him onwards. Leaving the park he made his way through the darkness to the towering building that was home to the jedi.

* * *

"What in the ..?" Obi-wan halted starring down the hallway. " Droids..?" He gazed into the glowing artificial eyes. / Anakin.../ he thought remembering the boy's fondness for robotics. Shivering involuntarily at the eeriness of it all he quickened his pace down the hall. 

"Master..? Mater Yoda..?" Obi-wan whispered as he made his way slowly through the fountain room. After arriving at the temple he had followed the small Masters force signature into this room.

"Ah greetings young Kenobi," a soft gruff voice spoke. Obi-wan turned to see the small Master sitting happily upon a large boulder, overlooking a large water fall; a boulder that mere seconds ago had been vacant.

"Master Yoda" Obi-wan bowed politely, though it took all his training not to leap into his masters arms. "It is good to see you again Master" his voice cracked slightly as he kneeled down before the old jedi. He lowered his eyes to the floor, forgive me I..." He stopped as he felt a gnarled hand rest upon his shoulder and gently pull him close into an embrace.

With that the battle against his feelings was lost, and Obi-wan didn't fight the tears as they fell, what would be the use, there wasn't much you could hide from Master Yoda.

"Feel your sadness I do.." Yoda spoked quietly wiping away the tears "Must not let it over power you.. Strong you must be...strong you both must be.."

"I know Master...sometimes...it's very hard."

"Hmph.. Yes hard life can be but give up you cannot...no. Important you are, important both your destinies are ..yess the force says so." Yoda closed his eyes in concentration.

Obi-wan hung for a moment in stunned silence. "How..did...you...?" he stammered, as the old Master gave a cunning grin. He had made sure to loosen his tunic before entering the temple, and yet Yoda had hit upon his secret as though he'd openly announced it to the world.

"Strong in the force he is, sensed the child I did...very apparent you have become..."

Obi-wan was a little miffed

/ did he just tell me I was fat../

However before he could voice his concern Yoda spoke once more.

"Foreseen, this I have,..yes your destiny , your child's...hmmm" he muttered softly looking out over the falls.

"You seem so sad when you talk of it...my future is it really that bad..?"

Yoda turned sad eyes to the young man. He seemed to at a conflict within himself. Deciding how much would be wise to reveal and how much should be left in shadow.

"Much sadness have I seen..so much...strong you must be when the time comes.."

Obi-wan sighed it wasn't the answer he'd hoped for, "Yes Master I'll try"

"Do or do not Obi-wan there is no try !" Yoda spoke fiercely looking gravely into the young mans eyes.

Obi-wan pulled back a bit startled. "Yes Master" nodded

Yoda sighed, he could see that he'd upset the young man , and that an explanation was in order.

"Bad, the temple has become" he sighed shaking his old head. "There is a darkness in the galaxy, the dark side is growing feel it I can,... but... stop it I cannot..."

"Master..the boy...all the droids in the temple?...it... isn't natural..."

"No,.. He has made many allies of the jedi , many of the students and masters alike believe in the prophecy, and that he is the one to for fill it."

Obi-wan snorted "Prophecy"

Yoda looked up at him narrowing his eyes "Speak not without wisdom young Kenobi, for balance to the force does the prophecy say he'll bring ...but it does not say how." The little master looked grave.

"Couldn't you call the council, let them decide, surly they can feel the darkness about him"

Yoda shook his head once more, "Fascination has blinded them, and he is in good merit with the majority of the jedi . Nothing is there I can do"

Obi-wan stiffened. / not if I can help it /

" Anakin must be stopped, he is evil I can sense it, you can sense it..."

"Fear I sense in him Obi-wan much fear...but evil" the old Master shook his head. "The course we take has many paths, decided by many things our fate is. Know your true enemy before you wage a war Obi-wan. Look before you leap you must." the old Master said firmly. Gazing up into the falls.

Obi-wan hung his head severely vexed, Yoda would not help him, in fact he'd basically told him to leave the boy be, in so many veiled words and subtle undertones. Letting his mind wander he pushed back the frustration bubbling up in him, staring up into the falls as well.

/Qui-gon and I use to come here..I wonder../ he gave a glance at the small master happliy humming to himself on the rock. Yoda smiled when he noticed he was being watched by a very unamused jedi.

"The falls are beautiful tonight are they not?" the small master asked.

"You would pick the fountain room, of all places to meet me," Obi-wan muttered.

"Hmmm, liked this room you once did." Yoda said giving the young jedi a knowing smile, "Came here with another, often you did.."

Obi-wan shut his eyes forcing his voice to work, "Qui-gon made his choice, he doesn't want me anymore..."

"Did he..? Or was choice for him made...?"

Obi-wan looked down at the aged master in surprise. / Is he trying to say this is my fault.? It would have happened anyway...Qui-gon was practically pushing me out the door, what's the difference if I walked out before I could be thrown out. Why is Yoda implying that I made the choice here /

before he could vent his frustrations though, Yoda got down from his perch and began to walk to the door.

"Master Yoda..?" Obi-wan asked at the sudden departure. Had his Mater heard his thoughts, had he offended him in some way.

"Go I must.." The small Master stated "But stay here I want you to. Stay here and think... feel again...remember" he held Obi-wan's eye in his wise gaze, and Obi-wan couldn't help but feel that Yoda was reading his soul word for word as though he were an open book. He nodded his agreement to the old master's wish, and Yoda headed to the door. As he reached the exit however he turned back to the young knight.

"Obi-wan.. Know Qui-gon have I many years...know he loves you I do ... and misses you terribly he does. Souls, never meant to be torn in half are they...never truly happy can they be..." with that he left, his gimmer stick tapping softly on the stone floor and echoing faintly through the halls.

Obi-wan sat quietly by the fountains the old Masters words coming to him.

/ Feel again ...remember../

He crossed his legs and prepared to meditate on the events since that faithful night.

/ _**pain... betrayal hurt...sadness... loss**._./ feelings he'd rather not deal with right now.

/ Feel again ...remember../ Yoda's voice chastened

" I do remember Master,...that's why it hurts so much.."he whispered

Obi-wan sat motionless, still as a statue, watching the beads of water fall down to join the others and thinking quietly on his own, in a world unto himself .

He was deeply troubled by Master Yoda's earlier concerns regarding the boy. Those droids roaming the temple were suspicious as far as he was concerned.

/I underestimated that boy, he has won over most of the temple, but he is still a sith and must be stopped, if the council won't stop him and Qui-gon is too blinded to see what he really is then I must stop him myself./

There was a sudden sound of footsteps from just beyond the falls.

/ Someone's here / Obi-wan gasped. He got up and hid behind an outcropping of rock as the figure came into view.

/ Qui-gon / his heart almost lept into his throat. / He almost saw me...I really have to stop daydreaming../ he reprimanded himself. He should have sensed his former Master long before he'd entered the fountain room. Looking anxiously from his hiding place at the tall man, he focused on calming down his breathing and maintaining absolute silence. It would not do to be found by his old Master at the present time, not when he still had to take care of the boy.

Obi-wan's eyes traveled up to the rugged face, which sat gazing into the falls.

/ He looks so sad... could he really be missing me..? Strange he should have felt my presence too, maybe we're both are doing a little too much day dreaming.../

/ _**Souls never meant to be torn in half are they...never truly happy can they be**..._/

/ oh Qui-gon../ Obi-wan mentally sighed feeling the utter misery of having his love so close, but still completely out of reach.

/ oh no../ Obi-wan gulped as the tall jedi tensed and began to look about him.

"..hello..?" Qui-gon called through the room uncertainly.

/damn it / Obi-wan berated himself. He'd let his shields slip. He slammed them up once more waiting with baited breath as his Master stalked about the room sending out the force in waves. But Obi-wan focused just as hard, he didn't wish to be found and he was not going to be found.

At last Qui-gon let out a deep sad sigh before he receded back to his seat at the falls.

Qui-gon sat by the waters edge watching the rippling of it's surface change and distort his reflection. Every now and then he would glance about the room feeling as though he were being watched. It was a strange feeling...one moment he'd been sparring when he'd felt a sudden need to go to the fountain room. So here he was, sitting and starring at the water...again.

He glanced about the room once more still not completely convinced he was alone, but not entirely believing what he'd felt.

"Obi-wan...?" He whispered barley loud enough to be heard over the water of the falls.

The was no answer but then he hadn't expected one ...had he?

"NO I can't kid myself anymore, I just imagined that I felt his signature. It was just an old fools hope. Obi-wan has been gone for months now./

" You have left my life forever and it was I that drove you away.. " Qui-gon lamented to the falls

Getting up from his seat and heading to the door. For the first time in many years there was no grace and spring in the jedi Masters step, nothing but the weary shuffling of a man aged long before his time. He looked back once more at the water.

"Forgive me my Obi-wan.." he begged desperately, but there was no one to hear his heartfelt confession. Obi-wan had slipped out long minutes ago, back into the darkness.

* * *

To be Continued ... 


	21. Cruel Nights

**The Rogue Jedi chapter 20**

* * *

**Cruel Nights**

Obi-wan walked slowly down the dark streets on the lower levels of Corasant. The crowds had long since disappeared leaving the quiet and deserted. The young jedi sighed he was alone now once again, more than he'd been for a long time. Alone to ponder his thoughts.

Master Yoda's words had stuck with him. After seeing Qui-gon in the fountain room that night Obi-wan didn't feel so sure of his Master's betrayal anymore.

/ If only I could be sure.. how../ Obi-wan knew he was just fooling himself; he'd been with Qui-gon long enough to now what the man was thinking. / He was truly miserable.../ he realized shuffling his feet / maybe Yoda was right Maybe there still is a chance for us.../

Obi-wan thought hardly daring to hope. He leaned over the walkway railing, looking over the vast expanse of buildings; small dots of light shining over the planets whole surface. Yet even gazing at the peaceful scene before him a nagging doubt kept picking at his brain, taunting him.

There was still the matter of the boy to deal with.

/ Qui-gon will not accept it his eyes have been blinded by the boy, and his treachery...just as mine were with Xanatos /

Obi-wan growled "I was a fool, trusting a sith I walked into a trap that a young padawan would have spotted. But Yoda, didn't he say something about finding allies in old enemies. Could he have meant Xanatos,..? No he's shown his true colours he was going to attack Qui-gon, kill him. If I hadn't overheard him...I would have helped..possibly gone along with him..." Obi-wan shuddered.

"No !" he shook his head in denial / never I could never hurt Qui-gon. But...no! I would never do badly of my Mas- of Qui-gon. But I must stop Anakin before he can hurt him. Yoda was right having so many droids around is certainly not normal. If the other members of the council won't stop this, and the temple is in danger then I must act...and quickly.

He ran quickly through the streets descending the levels of the busy city until he reached the dark and decay of the lower gutters. Here he slowed down trying to decide what to do.

"I need a plan ...I can't just walk back into the temple and start smashing up droids. I have to stop the boy" Obi-wan raised his eyes to the grey outline of the temple far above him.

/ he will be asleep soon, in my room...it will be quick and easy.. Well the sooner the better then/

In his mind a plan was already starting to take shape. "Yes" he murmured to himself as he kept silently along "That will do...that will be – !"

Obi-wan turned as the sound of shrieking metal broke though his thoughts. A group of ragtag droids were advancing on him slowly.

There were several, all seemed to have been modified, improved to carry some form of defensive weapon, as well as heavy offensive shields and protectors.

/The boy is paying his greetings I see..He must have sensed I was there...this complicates things. He sent these to finish me... These things are no doubt his work." he eyed them warily.

"Now it's simply a game of who gets who first is it Anakin.." he back away from the droids. It would not do to get into a battle with them. They looked powerful and in his present state he could not risk such a confrontation.

Using the force, he scanned his surroundings for a route of escape.

/There / his mind saw it as clear as a bell before him. Wasting no time he launched himself over his attackers and ran down the twisting alleyways trying to lose his pursuers.

/they're fast…/ he gasped at he heard the heavy drone of metal crunching close behind him.

/or I'm slow.../ Obi-wan ran as hard as he could put his feet to the ground, but he was starting to get winded, the droids were getting closer to him now.

/their gaining on me ../ a note of worry entering his thoughts.

"I must ...fight them...then... " he panted "I can't out run them.." he turned to face his opponent , eyeing up the competition, as he reached for his light saber.

/**/My saber !**/ Obi-wan cried as he realized he'd forgotten it back at Xantos apartment.

Staring at his attackers, Obi-wan scanned the surrounding area for any sort of weapon he might use to defend himself.

/nothing...so this is how it ends then.../ he watched as the loomed closer, he could almost see Anakin's face split in a wide smile laughing at him.

"No..." he growled glaring daggers at the droids as they raised their weapons to him, "I'll not go, not today... not like this..." he leapt forward shouting out angrily at the droids.

To his amazement they halted seemingly surprised by his actions. Their quarry, who had till now been running from them, was now facing them and charging forward with the intent of fighting back.

/it's almost like ...they have feelings...?" Obi-wan observed their moment's hesitation.

That moment was all that was needed, as a black blur of movement shot over him, launching itself into the group of droids, dispatching a fury and wrath upon them, which they would not soon forget. In mere moments most of droid gang had been sliced to pieces. The remaining droids hobbled and clanged themselves away as fast as their mechanical servos could turn.

Obi-wan watched with baited breath as the dark figure came forward, brushing the dust from his sleeves. Who was this, and what did he want. The young Jedi thought

Stepping into view came a familiar pale face, complete with black locks and the scar of a broken ring and the right cheek.

"Xanatos.." Obi-wan breathed.

"Are you ok...?" the raven haired man asked walking briskly to his side.

Obi-wan glowered at him "I had it under control!" he snapped.

Xantos took a step back shaking his head "Force Obi-wan you scared me...Obi-wan..?"

**SMACK!**

There was a resounding crack in the dark and Xanatos stumbled backwards a few feet

"**_OWWW_** ...Obi-wan..." he yelp rubbing his jaw.

The young jedi knitted his brows together 'You lied to me Xani ! ..What do you want now..? Why did you come..?" he turned ready to stalk off.

"Wait ! Obi-wan please ...hear me out at least.." Xanatos pleaded.

Obi-wan turned slightly.

"Go on.."

"What you heard back at the apartment...with Jemez...it's true ...it did start out that way, at first, when I found you...but after I got to know you it changed "

"Changed, in what way!" Obi-wan hissed.

"You showed me what I was missing from life,...you taught me how to feel."

Obi-wan turned fully around now giving his full attention to the man in front of him.

Xanatos watched as Obi-wan scrutinized him, sizing him up, trying to read him, and his motives for doing this.

/ I'm sorry Obi-wan/ he thought / I can't tell you why I'm doing this I don't have a clue myself...all I know is being with you...it feels right.../

"Obi-wan, you're the first person in a long time who trusted me and treated me like an equal..and I like an idiot I hurt you...What I mean is... I care for you Obi-wan Kenobi. What started as my hate for what Qui-gon did to me, gradually became a hate for what he did to you."

Obi-wan stood there silent, he knew his mouth must be hanging open, and that it must be a comical sight, but he was too shocked to change it. He'd never heard Xanatos speak in such a manner before.

/He could still be lying ...but ...he's acting sure got a lot better.../

The dark jedi came closer, sapphire eyes gazing down into the deep blue eyes of the young jedi.

"You know when you where recovering from your wounds, I use to stay by your side at times...you cried in your sleep...you cried when you were awake...it was like no matter where you went your couldn't escape your sadness, and I was watching it devour you... it tore me up to watch you suffer so much, ...so much for the want and the absence, and **the sheer stupidity of that man!**" Xanatos spat.

Obi-wan was silent; his heart ached. Xanatos' words were sincere; he felt them to be true. But the man's ultimate goal could not be one he would help bring about any longer. He couldn't hurt Qui-gon, ..he loved him...

/ We must part ways then and travel our separate roads once more../ he thought sadly.

"Xanatos...I'm sorry...the past few months with you have been very special to me, and I will treasure them with all my heart, but I can't follow your path any longer."

He put his hands on the older man's shoulders giving them a squeeze. "Even though you're rash, and whiny and spoiled, and have an inconsolable temper...I want you to know I consider you my friend, but I can not proceed to do harm to Qui-gon even for want of ignorance shall not force my hand. I am sorry"

With those words Obi-wan pulled his companion into an embrace "Thank you Xani, for all that you've done for me. I hope we will meet again someday... as friends"

"Obi-wan wait " Xanatos said, grabbing his arm. "Don't go..don't leave me...My path has been undone. I did not mean a word of what I said earlier to Jemez." he lowered his eyes to the ground.

"I'm sorry, ... I spoke in anger. I was angry..not at you... not at Jemez...at myself. I never bothered to stop and think how miserable returning to Courasant would be for you."

Obi-wan eased back a little his eyes still not looking entirely convinced.

"Please hear me out... if I never set foot in the temple walls again I shall not care, if I ever again laid eyes upon Qui-gon's face I would do so with contempt yes.." he shrugged "But without murder in my heart.."

"Xanatos….why do you change your ideals so quickly..?" Obi-wan asked suspiciously

"I don't wish to hurt Qui-gon, because I don't wish to hurt you, and to do one would be to ensure the other."

Obi-wan's brows furrowed in thought, as he turned to look out over the vast city, and the endless twinkling lights.

"Please..stay, come home with me.." Xanatos whispered.

"I cannot, Xanatos." He finally spoke, his voice low and filled with grief "I must return to the temple. Those droids that you fought were sent to finish me off. The boy, Anakin, the one I told you about is gaining in his power and I am sure it will come to no good; I could feel it in the air of the temple. The force was charged and I could feel my senses tingling with warning. I must go tonight and stop the boy."

"You would kill him then..a boy..?" Xanatos whispered, an unbelieving look penetrating into the usual coolness of his eyes. "But the jedi code..?"

Obi-wan bowed his head in sorrow, "I nary not take a life, but if I do not act...if I do nothing..." he shook his head in resignation. " If must slay a sith to protect the jedi, to protect order from chaos then I surely shall, it is my duty...and I can not escape my destiny..." he trailed off remembering Master Yoda's earlier predictions. "I must be off the moon has almost risen, he'll be in bed by now most likely, I'll wait for him in the chamber halls" turning back towards the temple Obi-wan began to run towards the lower levels.

* * *

Creeping close to the stone walls Obi-wan felt for the crack that would reveal a small doorway into the temple unseen. Placing his fingers on either side he began to pry away the covering.

"Wait..!" A voice hissed as him.

Obi-wan jumped turning to face the sound. A figure came out of the shadows.

"Xanatos !" Obi-wan breathed peering into the gloom, as the tall raven haired man approached him. "What are you do- !" Obi-wan was cut off as Xanatos held out his light saber for him to see.

"You left this in your room Obi.."

Obi-wan placed his saber back into his belt blushing a deep rose.

/ I have got to get my head on straight, running off to do battle and without my saber...smart Obi-wan../ he groaned to himself.

"Thanks Xani" he smiled. Turning back to the door he began to open it once again, when a second pair of hands began to help maneuver the rusty hinges.

"Xanatos..?"he asked looking into the determined eyes of the older man.

"I'm coming with you!"

* * *

To Be Continued... 


	22. It Took Your Smile Away

The Rouge Jedi Chapter 21

**It Took Your Smile Away**

* * *

Darkness surrounded the two Jedi as they made their way from the lower levels and up into the darkened hallways of the temple. 

Obi-wan listened carefully for a sign of anyone nearby.

"I don't hear anything, still we'd better stay on our guard" he whispered edging out of the shadows and peering down the hallway though the gloom.

"This place sure has changed since I was here last..." Xanatos commented dryly. "I don't remember it being quite so...so morbid"

"There's a Sith in the temple; Darkness in the presence of light, and even if the Jedi are too stubborn to acknowledge it, they can feel it, and it is weighing down on the spirit of this place."

Obi-wan shuddered, pulling his cloak closer to his frame. "I can feel it..." he whispered "I can feel him..." he gave a soft growl, prowling down the hallway, and rounding the corner with Xanatos close at his heels.

"Stop" Obi-wan hissed, pulling them both back against the wall. They watched quietly as a shining droid hummed silently passed them.

"Droids..?" Xanatos asked, looking bewildered at this new found knowledge. "When has the temple started using droids...?"

"Since the boy arrived.." Obi-wan huffed "He's built hundreds so Yoda has told me, they've invaded every part of the temple, keeping strict enforcement of the laws, anyone found out of bounds by one of them is punished...very efficiently." he shuddered again at the thought of it.

"The Jedi have always respected rules, this is a good thing then is it not." Xanatos said.

Obi-wan gave him a look of astonishment, "Rules yes, but there are always exceptions to these rules. When fellow Jedi patrolled the halls these matters could be heard by and considered with the feelings and understanding of a sentient being. Droids are machines, they are not alive they are without conscience, without pity, they do as they are programmed, with no exceptions. And they follow the orders of the boy, a being almost as mechanical and unfeeling as the cold steel he commands."

Obi-wan's voice held a sad note to it as he shook his head. "This is all so wrong...Yoda sensed his evil too, but the others, even members of the council, are all so inspired by the prophecy of the chosen one that they have let him get away with it." Obi-wan rubbed a hand over his eyes, "I fear I have no choice... if they will not do it themselves, then I must rid them of this menace."

"Obi-wan" Xantoes spoke with grave sincerity, " have you thought about this, if the Jedi order has accepted him as you claim, and believe that he truly is the savior of the force, then your killing him will seal your own fate as well. They would hunt you down and condemn you for eternity."

Obi-wan turned weary eyes to look upon his companion, his gaze speaking plainly that he knew and accepted his wretched fate.

"Xanatos, I want you to stay here it's dangerous enough for me , but you are a known enemy to the Jedi and as far as they are concerned, fair game. Please don't come any farther with me ."

"The hell I won't!" Xanatos snapped, " I told you back in that park that I cared about you, that I don't want to leave you. And I am not letting you throw your life away over some stupid grudge over your master"

"Xani. if they catch you... they will kill you" Obi-wan pleaded with the man.

"Ah true, true enough Obi...but" he grinned "First they must catch me .."

Obi-wan opened his mouth to protest further but Xanatos beat him to it " If all you say is true about this boy... this Anakin, then he must be stopped. So like it or not I'm coming with you.." he gave a small smile to the young Jedi. " I'm in this with you all the way now"

Obi-wan smiled " Thank you Xani.." the raven haired man nodded.

"Right; now we have a Sith to find.."

Obi-wan mentally steeled himself for battle, once more, making his way slowly up and though the halls to his former masters chamber. He hesitated in front of it for a fraction of a second before punching in the code and sliding into the room.

Inside the shadowed living room the darkness was all consuming, Obi-wan strained his ears making out the faint sounds of soft breathing coming from his masters chambers. A pang of longing lodged itself in his heart, oh how he just wanted to run to him and become lost once more in his Masters embrace, and to believe that this was all just a bad dream and he would wake up soon and everything would be as it should be.

/ No / Obi-wan backed awake from the room, his head clearing of such hallucinations

/ I did not come for pleasantries ...or fantasies. For after tonight Qui-gon, you and I will be sworn enemies, for I have come to kill your chosen one and such an act will be unforgivable in your mind...though I do it out of love /

"Obi-wan" Xanatos whispered, pointing to the nearby bedroom. The door was slightly a jar and at Obi-wan's signal they slunk inside.

The interior of the small room was littered with droid parts and various tools used to build or fix the devices. Anakin lay asleep on his bed, his light-saber on the bedside stand, his chest rising and falling slowly.

Xanatos stood peering in wonder at the small boy. / This kid is the epitome of evil...? This was what had split Qui-gon and Obi-wan apart..? This boy is what had caused Obi-wan to flee for his life in terror so many months ago...?" He felt a stirring of uncertainty inside him.

He turned watching as Obi-wan raised his saber, ready to power it on and finish the dirty deed, when a hand was upon his wrist. His hand.

Obi-wan turned to stare daggers at him. "Xanatos, what are you doing...!" his hissed.

"Are you sure..about this..?" He asked looking down at Anakin's sleeping form "It's just a kid"

"He's a Sith, Xanatos and he'll get bigger if we let him, I must stop him now and save my Master and all of the jedi" Obi-wan snapped, his gazed momentarily flickering to the door, and lingering a moment too long, before returning to the task at hand.

Xanatoes had caught the stumble and asked quietly. "Are you sure you're doing this for the jedi and not for yourself...?" Obi-wan gave him a look of hurt, and Xanatos backed up a little. " I know what it's like to feel that sort of pain.. Obi-wan, I was replaced once too...by you." Obi-wan glanced at him as he continued. "...and I did the same thing you are trying to do...but let me tell you this much... it doesn't help matters, it will only make things harder for you. Strangely it was you, the very one I tried to destroy so long ago who taught me that valuable lesson, The question now is are you ready to learn that lesson for yourself...?"

Obi-wan narrowed his eyes, but did not comment on the dark Jedi's speech.

"I don't sense any great evil about him" Xanatos continued "...I sense...confusion, fear.."

"Fear is the path to the dark side " Obi-wan stated.

"Always?... maybe he's just different, the droids aren't really doing anything the jedi themselves didn't do.. Maybe he's ..."

" Let go of my arm Xanatos" he said flatly.

The dark jedi, looked hurt but released his grip, allowing Obi-wan to shake his hand from his wrist.

Stepping forward once more Obi-wan raised his light-saber over the sleeping form of the jedi's chosen one and as the blue blade hummed to life, brought it down in a powerful sweeping arc.

* * *

To Be Continued... 


	23. Stranded

The Rogue Jedi chapter 22

Stranded

* * *

Raising his arms Obi-wan brought the blue blade down for a fatal blow to his foes neck. 

"Stop!" Xanatos cried lunging forward from his post, and barreling into Obi-wan's side.

" Unngg" Obi-wan grunted as both he and Xanatos fell sideways, his saber clattering across the floor.

Anakin's eyes shot open at the sudden noise. He bolted upright in his bed looking at the two strangers in his room. "Master!" Master Qui-gon !" He cried out.

Obi-wan picked himself up off the floor, shoving the dark Jedi off of him.

"What in the name of the force are you doing..!" he growled.

"Obi-wan, listen this.." he said getting to his feet "this doesn't feel right.."

"Master" Anakin called out once more, throwing the covers off and running to the door

"Oh no you don't!" Obi-wan snapped, sprinting forward he covered the distance in several bounds, grabbing the boy by the leg "Don't you dare" he threatened.

"Master!" Anakin screamed.

"Obi-wan" Xantos hissed "We gotta get out of here before..."

"What's going on in here..?"

The sound of footsteps halted at the doorway as the hall light clicked on, bathing the occupants near the doorway in a golden light. Xanatos edged back into one of the corners of the room.

"Obi-wan..?" Qui-gon breathed as he stared at his former padawan. It felt as thought the young man was returned from the dead. Qui-gon felt his heart soar.

Obi-wan cast an angry glance up to his Masters face. He'd been feeling so grief stricken about all that had happened between them. He'd almost felt that he could forgive the man, but looking into his face he was brought back to that night he had fled this room, broke and bleeding and a white hot anger worried up into his chest.

/ How dare he come running to this boys aid when I was abandoned to my own fears and sorrows with no one to comfort my mind / he threw up his head , his eyes flashing /this is his fault. His, and the boys./

"Obi-wan" Qui-gon gave a great bond forward, opening his arms to embrace his loved one.

"**DON'T TOUCH ME QUI-GON JINN !**" Obi-wan snarled at his old master, the hair on the back of his neck bristling as he picked himself up off the floor.

Anakin took the opportunity to wriggle out from under him and clamber over to the older man's side.

"Master Qui-gon" he sobbed, clutching the mans robes tightly "He attacked me"

Qui-gon looked up questioningly into the eyes of his lover. Seeing the answer written in them, a look of sudden realization dawned upon his face, and the smile fell.

"You didn't come to stay did you..?" he asked in a neutral tone.

"No, I came to kill a Sith, to save the Jedi from their own stupidity, … to save you from your blindness"

Qui-gon's brows knitted together, his eyes narrowing as he took as he took in the site of his lover standing defiantly before him. The padawan braid he still possessed now hung past his waist, mocking the man who would be Master as it stirred silently in the moonlight. His eyes shone out from behind a curtain of snowy locks, burning wild and angry at him, with a hard, cold accusing glare.

Qui-gon left the face and continued to gaze at him, his eyes traveling down his body, and coming to rest on Obi-wan's mid-section. He noted with quiet surprise that the once flat and muscled abdomen was now bulging very noticeable from under the loose tunic that the young man wore.

"You've been neglecting your training I see.." Qui-gon noted cooly , glaring up, with contempt into Obi-wan's eyes before turning his nose up at bulging mid-section.

"I never thought you to be the type to run off over a tiff Obi-wan." Qui-gon said quietly "to run off and let yourself go like this..." he gestured towards Obi-wan's middle once more. " you've actually gotten fat."

"Ouch!" Xanatos cringed from his place in the corner, pressing himself as far into the wall as he could and waiting for the explosion. The dark Jedi watched as Obi-wan turned a livid shade of purple; he was fairly certain that had Obi-wan's saber not been on the other side of the room, Qui-gon may have been missing his head at that moment. As it was it took some minutes before the young jedi trusted himself to speak, but when he did it was with a deep grating cord to his voice barley above a whisper, and full of hatred and sadness

"How dare you" he hissed softly looking into Qui-gon's eyes " ...**HOW DARE YOU !** " Obi-wan screamed "How dare you say that to me ...when I am this way because of you!"

He lunged forward suddenly attacking, and toppling Qui-gon over in the process. Clawing madly at the man, a horrific wail escaping him

Qui-gon turned his face away from the fury of the blows shouting for Anakin to flee.

"Obi-wan, Stop!" Qui-gon cried out. "What has happened to you, you've gone mad !" Wrenching both of Obi-wan's hands from his neck he threw the young jedi backwards and off him with a brutal force.

'!.." Obi-wan yelped, landing hard on his back in the darkened corner.

"Now Obi-wan, we wil- ACKK !" Qui-gon never got to finish the sentence as Xanatos flung himself on top of the Jedi Master, with a heated vengeance. Having seen his Obi-wan so cruelly struck down by the fool, his anger had flared to life.

"Qui-gon, you are not worthy of him you bastard!" He cried, a red beam humming to life as his saber powered up.

"Xanatos !" Qui-gon exclaimed.

"Xanatos .." Obi-wan groaned picking himself up from off the floor.

"Run Obi-wan, I'll deal with Qui-gon go now!"

Qui-gon looked from Obi-wan to Xanatos and back again "no.." he breathed. A look of fury past over his features. "You betray me as well Obi-wan.." his lip pulled back to show clenched teeth as he dove forward. "So be it then.. SITH !" he cried as he jumped intending to finish off his adversary.

"Aaarggh" his face meet with the hard wooden floor as Xanatos was once more on top of him pinning him to the ground. "Obi-wan we gotta..-.."

There was suddenly the loud blare of the emergency Klaxon, as it sounded through the temple.

"Damn," Obi-wan swore "the brat's alerted the temple" he shoved his saber back into his belt

"Xanatos run!" he called over his shoulder heading for the window. He pulled back the curtains and shoved the pane up, just as the front door was flung open. "Hurry" he yelled jumping out.

Xanatos let go of his enemy and turned, jumping though the opening and onto the ledge outside.

"Quickly "Obi-wan said grabbing his arm. Balancing precariously on the stone beams they made their way across to the other tower.

Xanatos glanced back to see several jedi heading for him.

"Stop where you are Sith !" Qui-gon's face appeared below him as the Jedi Master began to climb up the legde. "You'll not escape, come quietly"

"Ya I highly doubt that!" Xantoes snarled, sparring himself a moment to land a sharp kick to Qui-gon's face. He watched the man tumble down the ledge into an oncoming group of jedi. "That's for Obi-wan you jerk" he called over his shoulder as he took off after his companion; leaping over rocks and debris he soon caught up with him.

"We gotta hurry Obi-wan there must be 20 of them at least and their not far off...Obi-wan..?" He turned his gaze to what Obi-wan was staring at. They were looking down a sheer drop from the tower. At the bottom was the outskirts of the city, and in the distance freedom.

"What are we going to do..?" Xantos asked.

"We must jump "Obi-wan stated firmly.

What, .are you mad ? You can't make that jump...!" Xanatos cried looking over the ledge once more.

"It can't be more than 15 feet Xanatos, and besides I'm a jedi remember, its hardly nothing at all" he explained with a forced calm.

"Obi-wan you can't! You're not up to your usual standards at the moment...Think about the baby!" He said desperately

They turned back to see several of the jedi running across the ledges towards them, Qui-gon was in the lead looking furious and, Xanatos was pleased to note, sporting a lovely black eye.

They raced forward their sabers humming.

"If they catch us they will kill us Xani" Obi-wan said solemnly

"And if you jump you might kill yourself and your child." the young jedi pounced up onto the ledge, watching as the Jedi advanced closer.

"Obi-wan think about your baby!"

"I am" he said, with that he jumped falling though the air towards the ground. He landed on his legs before crumpling to his side with a strangled yelp.

"Obi-wan!" Xanatos cried jumping down after him. He grabbed the man's shoulders and shook him lightly "Obi..?"

"Unnngg... I'm OK...heh ... I'm a bit heavier than I thought" he said sheepishly, pulling himself up.

Xanatos nodded he could feel the young Jedi shaking with effort, and the sudden paleness that graced his features was unsettling.

"Come on, they won't be to long in coming "he put an arm about Obi-wan's waist and began to lead him down an alley way into the outskirts of the city. They were barley half way though the thin pathway when a blood chilling sound was heard.

The Jedi had begun their pursuit.

Thinking fast Xanatos pushed his stricken comrade into the shadows behind a large dumpster loaded with scrap.

"Stay here.." Xanatos insisted. He had to think quickly, the jedi would surely find them if they stayed here, and Obi-wan was in no shape to make a run. There was but one choice of action.

"You must stay put Obi-wan" he said urgently "I will lead them away from you,"

"NO ! Xanatos they'll kill you..unnggg" he gasped as a pain shot through his legs, and left him panting weakly " Xani ...don't .."

"Just stay put...please Obi.." Xanatos pleaded before turning and running the length of the alley way, he doubled back and began to run in the opposite direction, dashing directly parallel to the oncoming group of Jedi .

"There he is get him!" One of them shouted. The team surged forward after the man as he fled into the darkness and the shadow.

Obi-wan listened quietly for any sound that might be someone approaching him, his heart pounding at an alarming rate.

/Xanatos, I must help him / he began to pick himself up when he heard a slight scrap of footsteps. Ducking back behind the dumpster he waited, watching with baited breath as the foot falls came closer. They stopped only inches from his shelter. The owner of the feet briefly looking from one end of the alley to the other before beginning to make his way down the rest of the alley way and finally disappearing around the corner.

/ I must go, they are sure to find me sooner or later../ picking himself up, Obi-wan turned and dashed for the end of the alley way.

He had to escape, he had to help Xanatos. Trying to keep his breathing down he stuck his head out around the corner.

/ NO/ there were two Jedi prowling about close by. Obi-wan edged back into the shadows heading for the cover of the dumpster once more.

**THUMP**

He jumped backcrying outin alarm as he collided with a young knight. Turning to bound away he was stopped by a voice.

"Obi-wan..?"

He spun around, recognizing it , even before the figure pulled down his hood.

"Garin ..!" he breathed glancing back from where he'd come from, the other Jedi had heard his cry and were coming towards them.

The tall auburn haired man turned to look at Obi-wan with a torn expression.

"Garin..."Obi-wan begged a note of utmost pain in his throat.

"Obi-wan..you're my friend.. I...I don't want to see them kill you..." he shook his head, before looking up at him with stern eyes "Hide" he said.

What..?" Obi-wan gasped.

"Hide, quickly.." Garnin snapped, grabbing him by the arm and half dragging him back to the dumpster, he pushed his friend back into the shadows.

"Thank you Garin.." Obi-wan whispered giving a grateful smile to him. But Garin's face was hard set as he backed away.

"Never again Obi-wan..." he said "...never again..." He turned and ran down the alley way just as the others rounded the corner. "He went this way!" Garin shouted and Obi-wan watched as his friend disappeared from his view...and from his life...

Obi-wan waited long minutes in silence before he dared to venture out once more.

Stumbling backwards and out the other end of the alley way, he dashed off in the direction he'd seen Xanatos go. His mind was muddled in confusion and anguish.

/ Garin, my dear friend...we've known each other since we were infants...how could you just dismiss me so../ He felt his throat tightening as he continued to put one foot in front of the other, making his way though the dark.

He was so preoccupied with his own intense grief that he failed to notice a large shadow until it bolted from the darkness in front of him.

"Qui-gon!" He exclaimed stepping back. The older Jedi said nothing his face a neutral mask highlighted oddly by the green glow of his saber.

Obi-wan closed his eyes, feeling a sense of finality wash over him. / So it has finally come to this has it...? So be it then / he took his stance igniting his saber and staring down his master.

/ let the battle begin./

* * *

_**To be continued...**_


	24. Won't you Stay

The Rogue Jedi chapter 23

* * *

**Won't You Stay**

Obi-wan stood motionless almost too tense to draw breath, as he waited for his former Master to make his move.

It had finally come to this ...the inevitable, a final match between them, padawan versus Master, either he or Qui-gon would die here ...by the others hand.

/ Then so we must.../ Obi-wan bowed his head in acceptance, closing his eyes and allowing the force to fill him, to guide him. He didn't need eyes to see, the force shone more brightly, and with more detail than any mere mortal eye ever could. It told him the precise moment Qui-gon made his move, it told him exactly when to jump to dodge, to strike... It told him the precise moment he had lost the battle.

"Uunngg" Obi-wan grunted as he was flung over the railing landing hard on the wet grass. The tide of battle had quickly turned against him. Even on a good day in the peek of his physical condition the young padawan would have been hard won to beat his Master in battle. But right now, with blood flowing down his body from the scores of cuts and wounds he'd received, with sweat soaked tunic pressed to his skin...right now with the incessant ache in his middle... .he didn't have a chance.

He pushed himself up slowly on bloody and bruised arms, his body shaking violently as he glared up at the man before him.

/ Damn you Qui-gon...why don't you just finish it...you and your damn nobility. / he held himself still, long seconds waiting for a blow that never came.

He glanced up the see his Mater standing there as if they were in practice and he was patiently waiting for the young man to get back on his feet so they could continue. Obi-wan felt his face burn with humiliation/ He's not even taking this seriously.../

"Can't hurt a being when their down can you...?" Obi-wan gasped out, before his arms betrayed him and he collapsed back to the ground.

Qui-gon's face held a pained look as he slowly closed the distance between them, powering off his saber, he knelt by his fallen lovers side.

"You can never come back now...you must leave this place...and never return" Qui-gon's eyes captured something blowing in the wind. Glancing at the sullen padawan braid his features took on a look of wretchedness

/ All for this ... so simple a request you had...it's the least I can do for you my dear Obi-wan...I could never kill you as the code would demand...so... I must let you go / he fingered the braid for a moment longer before powering up his saber once more and bringing it close to the young jedi's neck.

"There remains only one thing to do ..." he muttered quietly

Obi-wan's eyes widened as he felt the heat of the blade on his neck.

/ He's really gonna kill me.../ For a brief moment Obi-wan had been under the belief that Qui-gon was hesitating, unable to draw the saber on his beloved. Now he realized he was mistaken. He turned his eyes upward gazing into Qui-gon's

/ I'm not gonna make this easy for you...not at all../ Obi-wan thought to himself, he may have lost, but he wouldn't go out whimpering and crying like a pathetic little child.

/ Don't give the bastard the satisfaction./ a voice cut into his thoughts

"ARRAAGHHH !" An unearthly bellow suddenly ran up from behind him in the darkness, a red saber cutting its way across Obi-wan's vision and forcing back Qui-gon's hand.

"Back, you vile loathsome being !" Xanatos snarled. His clothes were torn and soiled and more than one part of his body sported a fine burn upon it. But he was here ... and for Obi-wan he was one of the most blessed sights he'd seen in a while.

"You dare..?" the raven haired man hissed.

"Xanatos!" Qui-gon breathed icily, stepping forward with saber swinging. "This will be the last Xanatos, no more innocent beings shall you be allowed to lead astray"

Xanatos blocked a blow swinging back in a crisp flowing motion. "I need not lead them at all when the jedi practically shove them from the road of righteousness" he cried leaping high into the night.

They met in the air, their blades hissing against each other in fury. Xanatos shoved hard against his foe, pushing Qui-gon back a few paces and jumping to stand in front of Obi-wan.

"Quickly Obi-wan you must run...hurry go...get away now.." he snapped, then turned once more to face is opponent.

Obi-wan could only nod weakly getting shakily to his feet and staggering off into the night, as quickly as his body would allow.

Xanaos turned his full attention to the old jedi master a sneer planting itself on his face.

"Now Qui-gon I believe it's time we settled an old score" he laughed ebony locks dancing in the breeze.

Qui-gon could sense that Obi-wan was long gone, and his last chance to give him some sort of an apology went with him, bowed his head in quiet acceptance. He felt as the pain etched a little deeper into his heart, to be betrayed by his Obi-wan. He heard laughter and looked to see yet another betrayl before him, another old apprentice.

/ Him, it was he that took your Obi-wan from you. That led him to the path of darkness./

His eyes focused on this new torment, hardening as his held his gaze

" Yes Xanatos...it is time we settled a score." he whispered, the two of them beginning their deadly dance.

* * *

Obi-wan ran through the alley ways, stumbling blindly as he went, hoping he was going in something close to the right direction. The pain in his abdomen had increased becoming rhythmic with his beating heart. 

/ Gotta hurry ...keep moving../ he thought. His head pounded, the raging heat from his body making his thoughts move sluggishly. His feet continued to pound the ground putting distance between him and the temple...or was he getting closer? Obi-wan stood panting looking blearily through glazed eyes, his thoughts were in a hopeless jumble as he tried in vain to focus himself but gave up as his head sang out in pain.

/ It's useless... I could be going in circles / he hissed as his mid-section throbbed once more.

/ I gotta stop for a moment... get my bearings. /

He made his way to a small square where he finally dropped, catching his breath in the cool grass. Closing his eyes, he folded his legs letting the hammering in his chest abate and allowing the sweat to dry from his heaving sides. In the quiet of the square he heard it, the faint gurgle of water falling softly, looking to his left he caught sight of a small old fountain in the middle of the clearing. Obi-wan smiled it reminded him of simpler times when he had been a student at the temple and had spent many happy hours sitting among the fountains with friends...with loved ones...

Obi-wan couldn't explain it but tired as he was he felt compelled to go towards it. With a great groan the young jedi weakly hobbled over to the small fountain half collapsing upon its stone basin and looking into the dark star sprinkled water.

/ Ouch../ Obi-wan winced at the image that greeted him. He was a wreck, his tunic was once again torn, leggings mud stained and ripped up in places to a shameful state. Fresh cuts and burns glittered on his body no doubt to be joined soon with great bruises.

He winced as pain once more lanced through him. Growling under his breath, he rubbed his back tenderly, where he'd hit the ground knowing full well that he'd been sporting a lovely shade of purple there soon.

/ Damn you Qui-gon... hmmph fat indeed. If that fool wasn't so awestruck over his little chosen one he might have noticed tha- .../

" unnggg" he grunted, clenching his fists against the stone and bearing down against the pain.

/ that was the worst one yet/ he noted, it had left him dizzy. He swayed a little waiting till it let go before taking in a slow breath and easing himself down to sit on the ground, leaning his back against the stone.

/ I'm sure it's nothing .../ Obi-wan reasoned to himself, a twinge of fear edging it's way into his mind.

/ My body is just complaining about all this exercise that's all ... just a shock really after all these months relaxing ...I must be getting lazy.. I'll have to —/

"ARRaggghh!" the pain crashed through him with such a sudden ferocity, it doubled him over. Had he not been seated on the ground already, Obi-wan had the likely suspicion that he would have fallen to it.

" Arrghh ...no.." He gasped withering on the ground as panic filled him. The pain was getting stronger, making his vision blur; sending the world into a bewildered chaos, clouded and hazy with no clear beginning or end.

Obi-wan lay scrawled on the grass, colours dancing in front of his eyes. "To soon...to...soon..." He gasped, tears in his eyes stinging as they made their way down his cheeks into cuts and scrapes. He lay on his side, arms wrapped tightly around his body as he rocked back and forth with the pain.

" Help..." He gasped "Force please...not my child..." He sobbed, how could he have been so stupid, trying to take on the boy...no the whole temple... in such a state.

/ Foolish...stupid...let them be for now then...I have other matters at the moment.../

He sniffed, letting the pain wash over him, accepting it as his body's way of punishing him for his selfishness. / I should have been thinking of you my dear child... instead I thought of everyone else but../

"Give me strength...please force...help me...help me..." he recited quietly "Help —"

He fell silent listening as he heard the quiet approach of footfalls.

Obi-wan bit his lip trying to muffle his pleas, he didn't know if the approaching stranger was friend or foe. He listened, peering just over the edge of the fountain. The figure was heading in the direction of the downtown city. Obi-wan watched cautiously as he continued past, the proud way of holding himself left no doubt to Obi-wan that the man was indeed a jedi, but whom. He gulped the jedi was not more than ten paces away from where he hid, Obi-wan felt a tingling in his legs, a deep need to turn and flee, but he knew it was pointless he was drained. His only chance was to sit tight and hope the other wouldn't notice him; him a bright shimmering flash of white hair and tunic in the dark green grass.

He waited

/ Would the jedi truly kill me...? .../ Obi-wan thought remembering back to the burning heat of Qui-gon's blade as he had brought in down upon his neck. / Yes... / he swallowed / If Qui-gon my own master..my love... would have ...then the others certainly wouldn't bother to hesitate. As far as their concerned I'm a sith now /

Steeling himself Obi-wan remained fixed to the ground, nothing moving save his eyes which followed the figure as he continued across the square. Obi-wan frowned there was something unusual about the man's gait... it was off slightly. He continued to follow with his eyes / yes something is wrong with him alright../ he noted. The stranger was almost out of his line of sight when another sharp pain hit him. Despite his best efforts Obi-wan couldn't stop a strangled cry from escaping him. He fell once more to the sanctuary of the ground as his head began to spin anew, the world pitching and turning around him.

* * *

He was falling, deeper and deeper down into inky black depths. He was vaguely aware of footsteps running towards him, but from where he couldn't guess, this strange dark place didn't seem to have an up or down, hot or cold...or anything...and that was just fine with him. 

"Obi-wan..?" A voice called hands suddenly upon him pulling him up.

**/ Who's ...th..ere../ Obi-wan's thoughts slurred, he could hear a voice but it was distant , far away... like he was hearing someone underwater / whhooo../ he felt himself being handled, but he couldn't make his arms work, he felt he was swimming through a thick pool of syrup. **

"Uuunn" a low groan was the only reply.

"Stay still" the voice said.

**/ that voice I know that voice.../ Obi-wan almost cried with joy. Forcing his mouth to work, he laboriously gasped out.**

" Xa...ni..?"

"Shhh... take it easy" the voice soothed.

Obi-wan fell back into the darkness, surrendering himself to the nothingness of oblivion. When he came to again he felt himself swaying in the air back and forth.

/**/ I'm being carried../ he realized has he felt the familiar motion, to and fro then repeating**. Xanatos held him close to his chest, steadily making his way back home.

**Obi-wan shook his head his mind had cleared a bit and he found he could open his eyes just a crack and see back into the land of reality again.**

**/ He's limping .../ Obi-wan noticed./ The stranger by the fountain../suddenly realization hit him and gathering his strength he twisted his head upwards to face his savior** "Xani...you...you're.. hu..rt..." he mumbled. Lookingclosely he could see several nasty looking cuts and burns on the man

**/ he came back...he saved me.../. **

He watched as the man grimaced with each awkward step.

**/ I caused this ...me and my stubbornness../ he wished Xanatos would let him go, he needed to find a rock somewhere to crawl under and hide.**

" Xa..ni... I'mmm ...sorrrryyyyyy.." he sobbed silent tears falling down his cheeks again, he suddenly found himself overcome with emotion and had no idea how to stop it.

/ Don't try to stop it../ a voice soothed over his mind.

? ...Xani..? Are you in my head...how../ Obi-wan gasped balking at the unfamiliar presence in his mind. He felt Xanatos pull back and out from his conscious.

"It appears we are able to link our thoughts together...briefly anyway"

"oh.." Obi-wan nodded letting his head lay once more on Xanatos' chest. He was drifting off when an immense stab of pain snaked through him; instantly his calm was replaced with horror.

" Xanatos ! Unngg ... t ...the ba...by something's wwrrrrong..." he cried out, his head lolling back onto Xanatos' shoulder

"Obi-wan..!" Xanatos exclaimed, his ice blue eyes widening in fear at how fast the man's energy seemed to have left him. He held him closer, picking up the pace as he limped towards their home, his every stride was agony and his own injuries were telling on him, but he'd be damned if he was going to loose Obi-wan in such a way.

/ not today...not now.../

"Stay with me Obi-wan..." he begged the unconscious form in his arms "I need you to be strong...we're almost there ...please stay with me..."

* * *

To be continued... 

Ps anybody know how to make web page or know of a place I can post some art work. I got a lot of art work for the Rogue Jedi that I'd love to put up.

Also, I'd love any submissions, of art work for the story, I enjoy seeing people's different interpretations of characters.


	25. On My Own

The Rogue Jedi chapter 24

**On My Own**

* * *

"Hmm" Obi wan muttered softly still half in the clutches of sleep. He stretched feeling the gentle prickling of the grass beneath him. Picking himself up, he looked about at the beautiful gardens of the jedi temple laid out be fore him; a smile coming to his face. 

Flowers and plants of all kinds gave off a wonderfully enticing scent. He breathed deeply. "It's good to see your finally awake my love" a deep voice came from beside him.

"Qui gon,!!" Obi wan turned blushing at having been caught unawares in his moment of wonder.

"Day dreaming are we..?" Qui gon teased pulling Obi wan closer

''humph" the young jedi pouted in mock annoyance.

"Ha ha" the older man chuckled rising up and offering a hand to his companion.

"Shall we enjoy an early morning stroll before the rest of the world wakes and decides to greet us with its woes and worries..?"

Obi wan smiled blissfully "I thought you'd never ask" taking his hand and wondering merrily through the temple gardens.

The rain continued to gently fall as the two continued through the calm of the garden.

"Obi wan have I told you lately just how much you mean to me ..?" Qui gon ask softly

Obi wan glanced sideways at his master a smirk forming on his lips "Not lately..?"

"Well I guess a demonstration is in order then " Qui gon chuckled leaning into kiss his blushing companion.

Obi wan accepted the gesture letting himself fall into the embrace and fully enjoy the moment. There was nothing that could make it any better….or was there…?

Getting a gleam of mischief in his eye, Obi wan broke away dashing a few yards before looking back.

"Coming?" he grinned taking off again with Qui gon following after.

"Obi wan wha..!!!" Qui gon gave a yelp as the young jedi jumped from his perch in the tree giving him a playful shove into the trunk and sending a small shower of silver starlight coloured raindrops and petals falling upon his head.

"Hmph" Qui gon snorted wiping stray petals from his hair. "Imp"

Obi wan laughed throwing his head back, then kicking up his heels and taking off once more.

With the game and his pursuit now in earnest, Qui gon caught up with his padawan half way round the bend. Grabbing him by the waist and laughing so hard they both were sent rolling to the ground.

"HA HA ha..hmmm" Qui gon sighed as he gazed down lovingly at Obi wan laying in the sweet grass beneath him, skin flushed and dew stained, looking back up at him.

"Qui gon…I love you…" he whispered

"And I you.."

"I want to be with you always ..."

Qui gon smiled bringing their brows together. "Forever and ever Obi love"

Continuing to walk the gardens they were met by several other jedi out enjoying an early morning stroll. Obi-wan, waving goodbye to one of his temple mates, took a deep breath of the cool air, running to catch up with his master. It felt so good to belong, to feel loved and secure, he pulled up beside his mate just as they came to the fountain.

"Shall we sit a moment Obi?" Qui-gon asked indicating a seat by the edge. Obi-wan nodded, settling down and running his hands gently through the fountains crystal flowing waters.

"This is lovely Qui.." he murmured, letting the sun warm him. Obi-wan closed his eyes and felt himself drifting away. He must have set there for some time, the sun was well above him when he next opened his eyes. "Qui-gon, .. Hmm.. I'm sorry I must have fallen asleep" He yawned giggling slightly "Why didn't you wake me?...Master...Qui-gon..?" Obi-wan looked about him but he found that he was alone by the fountain..

"hmm?" He frowned, it wasn't like his master to just up and leave him, not without at least telling him. Getting up he stretched stiff muscles, and began to straighten his clothes. As he was leaving he took a quick look at his reflection in the waters.

"Stay down for once.." He cursed his ever flamboyant hair running a hand through the locks and turning to go.

"!" He stopped, turning back to the water and looking once more, very closely.

"Wha...what's wrong with my hair..?" he wondered, peering at the reflected image, as the white locks seemed to change to cream then pale gold.

"Uunn" Grabbing a handful of water Obi-wan splashed it over his head scrubbing through his mane. Wiping the water from his eyes he peered back into the pool.

"! What..!!" He watched in mute horror as the water turned pink , then red before him. Great arcs of crimson poured out and down the spouts.

"It's...blood...a fountain...of blood !!!" He gasped.

He looked at his hands shaking and covered in blood then saw beyond to his reflection.

"Oh..!!" he cried as he looked into the face of a monster, a face twisted and distorted with hate and rage. The fountain waters churned and pitched violently, the bright red liquid no longer allowing itself to be contained poured over the basin rim and seeped across the pathway as it began to devour the garden in a steady red wave.

Obi-wan fairly flew through the trees in blind terror. "Master!!" he cried "Master where are you..?!!" He ran onward, higher and higher up into the temple towers, until he came to the peak. Jumping out through the window and clamoring onto the rooftop he stood staring, unable to comprehend what he was seeing.

Coruscant was gone, everything was gone. The great teaming world had become one giant rolling sea of blood and death.

"Qui-gon! " Obi-wan suddenly called over to a nearby tower, where a hooded figure stood. It turned staring through him with piercing yellow red eyes, a creature that seemed no longer truly human. Obi-wan shuddered at the site of the creature, it fit this place, it fell into the feel of this dying, decaying world like a new glove. Shadow upon shadow, fear devouring fear.

"Who are you..?" Obi-wan asked glaring hard at him.

It smiled.

Obi-wan felt a chill go through him.

"Don't remember me..? I am the chosen one...and I chose Death !!!" He hissed. "Their death" he sneered, making a wide sweeping gesture with his arms indicating the billowing red waves that was once city streets and air lanes. "Their death "he said pointing down at the barely visible stubs of the temple.

Obi-wan stared to stunned to speak. The creature that was Anakin grinned, "His death" he laughed cocking his head towards a body floating nearby.

"No!" Obi-wan cried , recognizing the raven hair "Xanatos" he made a grab for him , just as another body splashed into the bloody sea in front of him, splattering him with more of the crimson liquid.

"Qui-..Qui-Gon!!!" Obi-wan howled out in bitter anger " Nooo!! You bastard !!, you killed them.. You killed them all !!!" He blinked back his tears as he glared at the hated creature in front of him.

"Not yet.. I still have you.." He grinned heartlessly.

Obi-wan grit his teeth. "Go ahead do your worst.. It's not as if I have anything left to lose" At this Anakin's smile grew

"Perhaps, perhaps not... I still have you to kill...and..." He pulled a small bundle from his robe. "You.." he cooed at the small being cradled in the blanket. "Did you forget your little bundle of joy" he said with contempt.

Obi-wan staggered as it all came crashing back to him. " Give me my child!!" he snapped gritting his teeth , his rage swirling about him, an almost tangible thing.

"Yes" Anakin murmured softly, closing his eyes "I can feel your anger, at me...at Qui-gon. Use it, maybe you'll be able to beat me.. Who knows...?" He smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

"No" Obi-wan hissed "Never"

"Suit yourself" he replied nonchalantly. With a quick flick of his wrist there was a sickening snap and the small bundle went limp in his arms before being tossed to the waves.

"NOOOO!!!" Obi-wan screamed hurtling himself through the air and landing on the other tower. A burning red rage took over his heart and he fought as he had never fought before. In mere moments he had the sith lord slain, and knelt down panting heavily as tears of hurt and sadness trailed down his face.

/_/Heh heh heh_ // A wicked laugh echoed around him. Obi-wan jumped up his saber ready, he looked down at the body of Anakin, laying still and silent before turning his gaze around him.

"Who's there" he growled" There was nowhere for anyone to be as far as his eyes could see.

/_/Heh heh heh_ //

"**Where the force are you!!**!" the young knight screamed swinging around.

// _Very noble, be an honorable jedi, go and slay the evil sith. Ha ha.. Fancy thinking the beast, this green eyed monster, was something you could fight and kill_.//

"Come out and fight... whoever you are.." Obi-wan said circling warily.

// _Ha ha ha.. You mean whatever... ha ha_ // the voice answered, echoing all around

// _Behold the truth , it is I who control you, who condemn you. I don't need to win a mere mortals match against you to steal your soul, I already own it. You have let me and your doom in in by the front door with open arms_.//

"No !! ...Nooo!!" Obi-wan shouted "I fight for good, I slayed a sith !!! And I would do so again..!!! Do you hear me !! I shall fight Anakin !! Him and all the sith !!!!!"

// _You need not fight him_ ..// the cold voice rang out, knocking him to his knees by the towers edge // _you've become him !!!_//

"No !!" Obi-wan gasped staring once more at his reflection as his hair turned a deep gold and his eyes a malicious crimson and amber hue. "No !!" There was a deafening roar as the tower collapsed and Obi-wan suddenly found himself engulfed by the swirling red tide.

He felt anger prick at his skin. He would fight, the sith would pay. //_I'm sinking_// he noted. He was kicking hard, but going nowhere, his anger building up, he tried again but it seemed he was getting heavier with each second. Trying to kick still harder, he was startled when a pair of hands suddenly grabbed his arm. Turning, his eyes went wide. /_/Xanatos..?!_ // Then another set grabbed hold of him // _Qui-gon..!!_// then another and another. They grappled for space pulling Obi-wan down deeper into the depth's. // _Stop, you're crushing me !!!_// Obi-wan's mind cried out // _I can't breath...need..air.._//

* * *

" **AARrrgggh!!!! Stop !! You're killing me !!! Stop !! Stop !! You're killing me ...Killing meeeee-arrgghhhhh !!!!!!!!!**" 

"Obi-wan !!, wake up Obi-wan you're dreaming !!!" a voice was suddenly calling to him, and he felt himself being shaken awake.

" Help...there gone...gone...!! All of them...all gone ...he kill ...he ...killed them...he...he..." Obi-wan sobbed, gasping and sputtering awake, trying to throw the vision that still held in the cobwebs of his mind.

"Shhhh... Obi-wan.. you're safe.. we're back at home now...it's alright" Xanatos voice soothed as he brought a cloth up to wipe across Obi-wan's brow.

"No... no...you're gone ...you're dead...all..dead...everyone...all gone..."

"Stop" Xanatos said more firmly, pressing the cloth to his flushed cheek. "Obi-wan , open your eyes and see for yourself, you are safe. It was a dream brought on by your fever. Do you remember..? He asked "Going to the temple..?"

Obi-wan's brown knitted together, he stared up at Xanatos, before reaching a trembling hand out and touching the man's face to be sure. His fingers fell upon the high cheek bones and brushed through his ebony hair. He was real he was alive.

"Oh Xani!!!" Obi-wan cried out with joy, lunging forward and wrapping his arms about him , none too gently

"Unngg" Xanatos grimaced.

"Xani,... you're hurt..!" Obi-wan said, pulling back and looking at the bandages covering his friend.

"I'll be ok.." The raven haired man shrugged, " I must admit ol' master Jinn gave me a run for my money though"

Obi-wan felt his throat go dry, as he looked up in the Xanatos's eyes " Did you..?...I mean...is...he..?" Obi-wan felt a lump forming; he knew what a duel such as that came to when two knights faced each other. Only one returned, it was the way. He swallowed hard trying to rein in his feelings.

"I didn't kill him Obi-wan" Xanatos said softly, reading Obi-wan's expression.

Obi-wan looked up into his eyes " But ...I.."

"I made you a promise that I would never intentionally kill him...and I kept it...unngg" he groaned a bit, sitting on the edge of the bed. "though believe me it wasn't easy."

" He hurt you.." Obi-wan said gingerly fingering one the bandages on Xani's arm, and feeling a stirring of ire towards Qui-gon for injuring this man who had stepped forward to help him.

"Well, I won't lie and say he went easy on me ...but " he grinned a little " I think I gave as good as I got hee hee... I'm sure dear Master Jinn is having a few problems of his own right now...you know... Sitting...walking...etc." Xanatos grinned mischievously "Just little tokens of love from me.."

Obi-wan frowned looking down at the sheets, "I've been such a fool, I ...I... almost lost you"

Xani felt his heart stir at the acknowledgment. "Well to be perfectly honest I'd say I came out a little better from this scrape than you did" He smiled, edging his way up a little on the bed, and taking Obi-wan's pale hands into his own. "You really had me worried you know..."

Obi-wan looked up at the sudden seriousness in his voice, his ice blue eyes looked at him with concern and fear etched into them, but if Obi-wan looked hard he thought he could glimpse something else there as well ...disappointment.

"Xani...I'm so sorry" Obi-wan began " I was so ...stupid !!! ...I almost got you killed... I could have died !!!.."

"You both nearly did die" he said bluntly "perhaps you should apologize to the right person" his eyes fell towards the covers over Obi-wan's body.

As realization came flooding back, Obi-wan felt his blood turn cold.

// _**My baby !!!**_// he gasped clutching his mid-section.

"Xanatos !! Oh please.. Oh please ...tell me I didn't ...I didn't lose the baby..!!!" he cried out in desperation. "I couldn't could ...never...oh please ..ple..."

"Stop" Xanatos said grabbing his shoulders and shaking gently. "Stop, shhh..,, the baby is ok thanks to Jemez, whom you'll be happy to note has decided to stay and...how did he put it... ah yes, keep two crazy idiots out of trouble" he gave a small grin.

Obi-wan smiled back, but Xanatos had become serious once more.

"Obi-wan I want you to listen very carefully, you are not out of danger yet , your body took a lot of damage and I don't think it can take any more. " Xani ran a hand nervously through his hair before continuing " I called a healer to look at you while you slept" he admitted.

Obi-wan looked at him to continue " ..and...?" he asked apprehensively.

"You are not to get out of bed for at least two weeks, and then activity is to be kept to a minimum… understand...?" Xanatos cringed a little as he spoke, hadn't meant to sound so harsh but he had been scared out of his wits for Obi-wan and was determined to keep the man safe at all costs.

Obi-wan nodded mutely, effectively cowed for his rash decision.

"Therefore any temple chasing you may want to do... put it on hold . Your child's life depends on it, your's as well.

Obi-wan felt his cheeks burn in shame, he nodded curtly and made to stare at the bed sheets when he felt a thumb gently tilt his chin up.

"Obi-wan, I know it's hard but I don't want to lose you.." Xani explained

Obi-wan nodded once more, too upset to do much else.

"...I'm sorry..." He mumbled, not really sure who he was apologizing to...Xanatos, Qui-gon, his child, the gods he was certain he'd somehow insulted

Xanatos gently laid him back down in bed, tucking him in " Get some rest Obi-wan I'll be back in a bit" he got up and limped out of the room, Obi-wan sighed as he watched him go, before turning his head to stare out the window. Through which he could see the temple looming tall and foreboding far away across the city.

As he looked, Obi-wan suddenly felt a great weariness overcome him.

/_/Qui-gon,... I was a fool to come after your chosen one in my state. I see now that I can't save you...or any of the jedi until you open your eyes and decide to save yourselves... ... forgive me Master...but you are dead to me now...as I no doubt am to you. Your life will go on, with or without my presence ...and...I...must somehow move on as well. But...I know ...that some part of me... will always love you...If only on my own_.//

* * *

To Be Continued ... 


	26. Paper Tiger

**The Rogue Jedi chapter 25**

**Paper Tiger**

* * *

The sun shone brightly through the large windows spilling into the room and cascading down upon the rumpled sheets and disheveled figure sprawled in bed. Obi-wan groaned as he awoke, it had been almost 3 weeks since his fateful flight from the temple tower, plenty of time for the bruises and banged up parts of his body to let themselves be known to him. 

"Ohh.." He winced pushing the covers back, his muscles resisting the movement. The young jedi sighed as he hauled himself ungracefully out of bed in a vain attempt to find himself a tunic and leggings that would still be half way decent and comfortable to wear. He looked through his things pulling out an old pair of his white leggings and holding them up.

"Hmmm... these won't do...neither will these" Obi-wan sighed, it was startling how much weight he'd put on in just a month.

Bed rest and good eating had seen him balloon out quite substantially and while Jemez had assured him that this was a perfectly normal occurrence, Obi-wan still didn't exactly find the new look flattering. He looked in the mirror.

// It is I ..._ Squatting Duck_..//

He glanced at the lower drawers, rolling his eyes pitifully when he couldn't see any other choice available. Pulling them open he began to search through Xanatos' leggings and tunics.

"I can't believe this " he snorted, finding a pair of deep green leggings that looked like they would do, he grabbed a copper colored tunic and pulled it on. "I'm fitting into Xani's clothes now !!!"

Though fitting probably wasn't the right word. The tunic hung loosely at his shoulders and went almost to his knees, while the leggings had to be rolled up a couple times even though they were quite snug about his middle.

Obi-wan cringed as he looked into the mirror, he looked all mismatched.

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have to grin and bare it" he muttered, folding his arms across his chest.

"An excellent idea" A voice commented from behind him. Obi-wan spun around to see Xanatos bringing breakfast into the room...again.

"Oh Xani.. I told you I don't need to have everything brought to me. I'm better now and I'm more than capable of waddling down to the kitchen for breakfast." he growled.

"Nonsense, Obi-wan..." Xanatos chuckled.

Obi-wan sighed as he watched Xanatos arrange the meal on the bed side table.

Ever since that fateful night at the temple, Xani had been playing nurse maid. Between him and Jemez it was almost impossible to move without some form of supervision.

"Now don't give me that look" Xanatos warned noticing Obi-wan's sour expression as he sat him down on the bed handing him a cup of tea and pulling the blankets up around him.

"Xani..." Obi-wan said in exasperation. "I was just getting up.."

"No, no, you're supposed to be taking it easy" Xanatos corrected him, fluffing up the pillows

"Doctor's orders Obi.. lots of bed rest...you don't want a repeat of...unnn...well..." he shrugged .

"Of course not Xani...but.." Obi-wan attempted.

"No no...I promised I'd take care of you and I will.." Xanatos said pushing Obi-wan back down

"But I..."

"No buts" Xanatos stated.

"I need..."

"I'll get you anything you need" Xanatos assured him. "Anything at all"

"I need to go to the bathroom Xani," Obi-wan sighed, pushing back the covers and waddling to the door Xanatos close in tow.

"Do you need any help.?"

" Sigh, no Xani, I think I can manage" Obi-wan sighed "I'll be back in a minute"

"Ok...I'll...just wait here then" Xanatos assured him, placing himself squarely in the doorway of the fresher. Obi-wan rolled his eyes as he marched into the bathroom.

"You're sure you don't need any help..?"

**SLAM !!**

Xanatos jumped back as the fresher door shut in his face, leaving the bewildered man to stare at it. "Um...ok I'll just be right here then.."

Obi-wan picked up the brush and began to comb out the kinks in his hair halfheartedly. He could hear Xantos still outside the doorway.

//unngg ...go away// he mentally moaned.

//... You know I can't do that...// Obi-wan stiffened as he felt the fluttering presence brush his mind.

"Damn it Xanatos !!" He swore, shocked by the presence of the dark jedi in his mind. With all that had happened he had forgotten this strange new development. It had gone quiet outside in the hall way.

//Xanatos..?//

// I'm just waiting for you in your room..//

Furrowing his brows Obi-wan stalked over to the door and gave it a mighty punch knowing full well Xanatos had his head pressed against it listening.

"OWW !!" the raven haired man hissed rubbing his temple. "What was that for..?"

Obi-wan cracked open the door looking at him "Don't lie" he snapped, shutting it once more in his face.

"Fine" Xanatos huffed

"Fine" Obi-wan shouted back to him. Tightening his shields, he did not desire another unwanted visit into his mind today.

"Fine" Xanatos began to pace outside the doorway.

Obi-wan separated the three strands of hair for his braid, pulling them apart and then slowly braiding them together, he took his time tying in the claps, before taking it all out and re-braiding it again. At this point he admitted to himself that he was stalling for time, but he just couldn't go out there and face Xanatos and his attentions. Not with so many thoughts swirling about in his own head.

Thoughts of his flight from the castle played relentlessly in his mind.

//Master you tried to kill me...and... Garin...oh Garin my dear friend how could you just toss me away. Do you even know my side of the story...maybe Bant has told you..?" Obi-wan thought as he gazed into the mirror. " No, Bant wouldn't give away my secret .. She has always guarded my trust faithfully... Bant I miss you, I wish I could speak with you. You would understand me... these strange visions... and all these feelings I'm having. You would be able to figure out their meaning.//

Obi-wan leaned against the wall// and of course... then there's the issue with Xanatos... we can mind speak...how?..// he rubbed his temples. Mental communication was common enough in the jedi order, the force made such things fairly easy. But usually there was some level of agreement and trust evoked between two beings before ones mind could be breeched. Obi-wan's mind had not sent up any red flag when Xanatos had mental spoken to him, his force signature had been permitted like a well known guest.

// I guess I've gotten use to him. // Obi-wan smiled thinking over all that the man hade done for him. Xanatos had definitely grown on him.

// I suppose I really shouldn't be so hard on him// Obi-wan thought, remembering with a twinge of guilt his poor treatment towards the man. // .. ..but still...//

"Obi-wan are you sure your ok..?"

"YES !!" Obi-wan snapped, his guilt vanishing "I'll be out in a minute!!!"

//unngg.. He is being so difficult //

* * *

Outside Xanatos leaned against the wall waiting patiently. He flinched when Obi-wan snapped at him for checking up on him. But he couldn't really blame the man. 

// I suppose I am being a bit pushy // he reasoned. Xanatos closed his eyes falling back into the memory of that night. He'd never been so frightened in his life as he forced himself onwards carrying Obi-wan's unconscious form with him. Xanatos shook his head clearing away the nightmare.

// I won't let anything happen to my Obi. Not now...not ever// from behind the door he heard a sharp muttering and knew that even with his best intentions, he would be dealing with a very ticked off jedi.

//ungg...he's being so difficult// He gave a sigh picking up a piece of toast and taking a bite out of it.

Obi-wan came out several minutes later and reluctantly allowed himself the be shepherded back to the bed.

"Xanatos really.." Obi-wan tried as the other man once again tucked in the blankets. "Why don't we go downstairs..? I don't think I can stay in this room any longer" he frowned.

"I don't want you to overdo it Obi-wan... please just stay put I'll bring you some books if you like or we can watch the holo-tube or...or anything you like.

Obi-wan glared at him. "I just want to go for a walk... I just want to see something else besides the four stupid walls of this room!!!

Obi-wan punched a pillow in frustration. With nothing to occupy his mind it had had ample time to run back over the happenings of the temple and keep reopening the new wounds in his heart.

"I...I just..."

"Obi-wan ..you ca-..."

"I WANT OUT !!!!!" He screamed, a tear sliding down his cheek as he turned his face away from Xanatos. He was ashamed at his sudden outburst, but found he could do nothing to cool the burning anger in his heart.

// what's wrong with me...? I've never...I can't.. //

// Obi-wan...?//

//...hmm..?// Obi-wan felt a slight calm pass over him.

"Shhhhhh... Obi" Xanatos soothed pulling him close and rubbing his back "I know that this situation isn't much fun, but it won't last forever."

" It feels like forever... I hate this !!!" Obi-wan whined, burying his face into Xani's neck. "I'm tired and I'm...I'm bored...and sore..."

"Well how about you eat some breakfast... then take a nap..?" Xanatos suggested.

"No" Obi-wan shook his head vehemently.

"You'd probably feel better."

"No I won't besides what's the point I can't get comfortable anyway and I don't need to eat anymore food. I'm not doing anything." he huffed

"Obi-wan you need to keep up your strength"

"no"

"Obi-wan" he could feel his patience slipping

"..."

"Obi..?"

"..."

"What's wrong..?" Xanatos was growing worried at the sudden silent treatment.

"I'm fat.."

"What !!"

"I'm.. Fat !! Look at me I'm impersonating a hutt !!!" Obi-wan yelled at him.

Xanatos was at a loss for words.

// what the hell is happening here..?// Obi-wan wasn't making any sense.

"Obi-wan think logically man ... you are having a baby. You have to get a little bigger"

" I'm a big fat hutt !!!" He shouted.

"Obi..."

"A big... Fat...ugly...Hutt !!!"

"Obi-wan !!!" Xanatos snapped grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. "Stop it, stop it !!! I don't know what the heck is going on in your head but you're not ugly... trust me on this" he said blushing a little.

Obi-wan gave him a searching look.

" ...and you're not fat. You're pregnant There's a difference !!!!!"

For several long seconds Obi-wan stared at him quietly, apparently thinking over what he'd been told. Xanatos felt himself relax, sure that he'd gotten past the hurtle.

Then the Dam broke.

"It's just not fair !!!!" Obi-wan bawled breaking down into great gulping sobs.

"I….I don't ….my friends…and..just everything" Obi-wan sobbed, as Xanatos held him close rubbing his back.

"Shhhh …. Talk to me …. Tell me hat's wrong Obi-…?" Xani whispered

Obi-wan leaned back, sniffing, "Nothing… I'm sorry… . …I just can't seem to control myself lately "

"Obi-wan… something's bothering you I can tell …please tell me…I want to help"

Obi-wan 's heart felt torn, he couldn't bring himself to tell Xanatos about all that was eating away at him, his fears for his temple home, his sadness at the betrayal of his Master, the complete abandonment of his friend Garin or the yearning for his friend Bant, and her warm comfort.

"I can't " Obi-wan shook his head once more, tears still falling

// oh I wish I could talk to Bant//

"Obi-wan, it will be alright.." Xanatos continued to speak softly.

Obi-wan turned away from the man, he suddenly felt very tired and Xanatos' sympathy grated on his nerves.

"No it won't !! .. Stop saying that!! It is not ok !!!" he cried "I've lost my friends, my Master tried to kill me !! I've almost died several times in the last few months, the temple has banished me ….and all because I ….because……I…I ..t..tried…"" He broke down in tears once more "I tried to help."

"Obi Obi ..easy. Come on calm down and rest a minute ok. I understand..." Xanatos attempted.

"No!" Obi-wan snapped flinging the covers off and getting to his feet. "Stop babying me, why does everyone keep coddling me . I'm not an invalid Xanatos, so just leave me alone!!!"

"Ok…ok…" Xanatos stammered backing away from Obi-wan and the mood swing that held him in its grip. "It's ok you don't have to bite my head off"

Obi-wan's eyes narrowed and Xantos was sure any moment he'd start spitting fire and brimstone at him.

"Believe me Xanatos if I wanted to bite your head off it would be GONE !"

"Calm yourself Obi-wan" Xanatos warned, his own temper starting to flare up."You brought most of this on yourself" he pointed out. "Running off and tramping around the temple. You could have died doing what you went and did in your condition, now you're gonna have to rest, take it easy and suck it up !!"

Obi-wan stared at him his mouth open.

"Look, I'm sorry for all you're going through right now Obi-wan, I really am, but I can't change any of it. So if you still want your just desserts I suggest you help yourself to a big slice of humble pie and cool it.

"You don't know what I'm going through !!! Anything I'm going through…you can't possibly understand how awful I feel !!!" Obi-wan yelled once more "I'm stuck here …all the time ….you….don't ….you…."

"Obi-wan I understand believe me I do. I see you in pain and I hurt too because I know I can't take this pain you feel and rid you of it. I see your sadness and I can almost taste your tears, yet try as I might I can do nothing to stop them from falling. I care about you Obi-wan Kenobi, I care about the both of you. That's why I'm doing this, believe me it hurts me so much to know that I'm making you unhappy ….. but it's for your own good.

Obi-wan glared coolly at him "You can't keep me here.."

""Yes I can" Xanatos stated, crossing his arms and holding back a sigh.

//He's not listening …// He took a deep breath, Obi-wan was still in a fighting mood it seemed.

"I'm not a slave, I can go wherever I want you can't keep me here. !!" The young jedi cried out again.

"I gave my word to help you; you're staying here even if I have to tie you to the bedposts by your swollen ankles!!!" Xantos ground out before a look of shock took his face. "unn.. not..t..that there's anything wrong…umm..with swollen ankles "

Obi-wan stared at him, his lip trembling before he got up and ran back to the fresher slamming the door once more in his face.

* * *

"That's basically it Jemez" Xanatos shrugged as he leaned against the kitchen counter retelling the mornings events to the small servant. 

"Well. I suppose I don't need to remind you that threats are probably not going to work. with master Obi-wan. Being a jedi, and somewhat stubborn, a problem I'm sure you can understand….hmm?"

Xanatos huffed "He's just so angry Jemez. I'm trying I really am but sometimes I think I make things worse. I just don't want to see him hurt again.

"I understand Master and I know that deep down inside he does too, but for now you must give him a little extra patience. He is going through a lot at the moment and not just with the child he's expecting.

"What do you mean…?" Xanatos asked.

"Xanatos.." Jemez gave an exasperated sigh. Sometimes his charge could be so blind to things. "I know he put's on a strong face for us, but it can't be easy for him. I'm sure it took a lot of will power to march into the temple and try to stop a wrong doing. It must have been even harder to know that he was forfeiting all his hopes and dreams in doing what he believed to be right."

"True" Xanatos agreed remembering Obi-wan's resigned demeanor that night.

"He's lost his family and his friends Xanatos, on top of all that's happened."

"I just feel so useless to him" Xantos growled pacing the room.. "I want to help him, you know that I do…but….but everything I do seems to make him angry or sad …or more distant from me. I'm almost afraid to give him his spce for fear he'll drift away completely… I'm not much help.. to him…"

""believe me you have helped and should continue to do so , but Obi-wan does need space and time to himself. " The small alien looked Xanatos in the eye. "It does him no good to be cooped up in this house contiously. I believe a small trip to the market would do him a world of good"

"But Jemez, the Dr. said not to overdo it" Xani said.

"I know and believe me, I will ensure every caution is taken during our excertion into town.

Xanatos still looked anxious at letting them go..

"Master a healthy body does no good if the mind is left in turmoil. You've done so much to save him, it would be a poor days work to let it all go to waste because he's pined himself into illness."

"hmmm" Xanatos still didn't look completely convinced but finally relented. "Very well Jemez….A short trip.." A small smile on his face "I suppose I can keep myself busy for a little while."

Jemez gave a knowing grin, "Yes no doubt you can.."

"You won't tell Obi-wan will you…?" Xanatos asked.

"If he asks about you I'll just tell him you're off brooding in one of the many broom closets…"

Xanatos laughed

"Practicing your slip knots…" Jemez added heading to the door.

"Very funny" Xanatos sighed heading to his own room.

* * *

"Thanks, Jemez, " Obi-wan smiled accepting the mug of cool fruit juice that the small alien handed to him as he sat down. 

"This is a very nice place you picked Obi-wan" Jemez commented taking his own seat. "Any particular reason? "

"Sorta" Obi-wan replied looking up at his companion sheepishly. "I use to come here a lot with my Master. I don't know why , but it just felt right to come here again...you know..? He trailed off, giving a wave to Didi, the café's owner, at the front counter.

"I understand completely Obi-wan, it's not easy to severe ties to everything that one holds dear...Believe me ...I know..." Jemez said quietly, closing his eyes a moment in quiet contemplation and Obi-wan couldn't help but feel the stirrings of curiosity bubbling up in him, mixied with something else, a yearning to be told. The feeling was comming from Jemez.

// It's almost like he wants to tell me... Just gotta ask...? Maybe...//

He put a hand on Jemez's shoulder "You know you have a friendly ear should you ever need one" Obi-wan ventured

Jemez smiled up at him looking wistful "I see so much of myself in you Obi-wan Kenobi

"Really ?" Obiwan was a little taken back.

"Yes, your proud independence, your strong sense of duty, your unwavering spirit, your kind nature ... and your somewhat stormy sailing with loved ones. Yes It reminds me of myself, and of my own family and friends. I rowed with them... more than I suppose I should have, over what... I can't even remember now.

But one night after another fight I was positive that I'd had enough, I decided to leave, if they were not going to take my advice to heed then let their own stupiidy be their downfall , not mine. So I ran away, and spent years in various jobs, seeing many worlds, and all the while thinking happily of coming home and showing them up, proving how wrong they'd been to ignore me and how right I had always been. Yes... I could hardly wait to see the look on my family and friends faces... and to hear what they would say to me ..."

"And...?" Obi-wan asked, when Jemez didn't continue.

"And what...?" he said looking over to the jedi.

"What did they say..?" he exclaimed "Did they apologize for ever doubting you..?"

Jemez stared hard at him for a moment.

"I don't know ...I never saw them... again. When I finally came back many years later...they were gone. The whole planet had changed so much... It...it was like they never were"

Obi-wan looked at his companion in shock. "... I'm sorry..." He said at last.

"Don't be Obi-wan... It was not your doing...but my own...I chose not to be part of their life, not to reconcile with them. ... I had many chances to do so...but...but I refused. I couldn't bring myself to let go of the hurt I felt...and then...it was too late"

"Why are you telling me this...?" Obi-wan asked warily.

The small servant gave the young jedi a sad knowing smile.

"I see myself in you Obi-wan," he said again " but you still can change your future, it's not to late ... the question is.. ...will you be able to forgive when the time comes...?"

Obi-wan fidgeted uncomfortably under the intense gaze, he stared down into the dregs of his mug, not wanting to think too much about that very question.

"Um...we...we...should probably get... going" he mumbled at last. "I'm sure Xani has probably torn the house apart by now looking for me to tie to the bed post."

Jemez smirked, letting the subject be switched as he caught the note of exasperation in Obi-wan's voice.

"Xanatos does care about you, you know?" he said gently.

"Ya I know," Obi-wan agreed quietly " but he's just so ... so...so.."

"Over bearing...? Yes , well this caring for others thing is very new to him. But a better change in a man I have never seen. I have you to thank for that, you are a lifesaver."

"Me...thank me for what...?" Obi-wan stammered " I didn't do anything, Xanatos saved my life. If it were not for him I would have met my death on that planet.."

"Oh you have saved him too, from a fate much worse than death" Jemez stated firmly. The small alien rounded on him looking him in the eye. " Believe me Obi-wan Kenobi, despite all his faults, and goodness knows he has plenty, he is a much better, kinder and happier man these days and it is because of you.

"He really ...cares..."Obi-wan spoke softly to himself, starting to feel like a heel for how he'd acted that morning. "I wish I had said goodbye to him before we left, but I couldn't find him...not that it would have mattered I was so mad I wouldn't have said anything to him anyway.

"I'm sure he was just trying to keep out of your way.." Jemez replied.

"Avoiding me is more like it.." Obi-wan glowered.

"Well.. I think after the way you spoke to him he's afraid to go near you..." Jemez said gently.

"This is new for him too...he's scared..."

Obi-wan's mouth hung open, he couldn't see anyone finding him frightening in his current state (unless he threatened to fall on them).

" He was scared ...of me..?"

"He is scared for you, and your child..." Jemez corrected him. "He wants you to be safe even if it means your being angry with him."

"Oh...Jemez !! I'm sorry I don't know what came over me ...I was so...so...I...everything's just a mess right now ya know...?"

"I know, I know" the small alien chuckled "And I too have a friendly ear should you need it.."

"You don't have ears at all..." Obi-wan gave a grin as they both broke into laughter; the tension of the day flowing away on the winds.

"I think I'm ready to head home now " Obi-wan said covering a yawn with one hand.

"Excellent , I'll get dinner started and you can talk with Xani." Obi-wan gave him a look of uncertainty.

"I don't know..."

"It's always best to clear the air" he chided.

"Yes, you're right" he hugged his friend as they made their way home. "Thanks Jemez"

* * *

"Xani..!!!" Obi-wan called out as he walked down the hallway. He'd left Jemez in the kitchens preparing dinner as he went off to find the dark Jedi. 

"Xani..?" Obi-wan asked, as he knocked on the man's bedroom door hesitantly. "Xani ..please come out" he said, receiving no answer. "I...we need to talk" he waited, but still no answer, he was sure Xanatos was inside and just trying to avoid him.

//because you scared him...// his mind reminded him.

Obi-wan leaned his head against the doorframe closing his eyes against the shame that pricked at him.

//Oh...Xani...I need to talk to you... about earlier ...and the sooner the better..//

"Obi-wan..?" The young jedi's head shot up and he turned to look down the hallway. There emerging from a room a few doors down was Xanatos.

"Xani" he breathed.

//How did he...? ...oh right the mind thing...// Obi-wan went wide eyed// how much did he hear...?//

"Enough..."Xani answered, Obi-wan felt himself blush and looked to his feet. "you wanted to tell me something...?" Xanatos asked.

Obi-wan tried to think of what to say but his mind had suddenly gone blank. Biting his lip he struggled for the right way to start.

"Did you have a good time..?" Xanatos asked breaking the awkward silence.

"I...I... got..some things..." Obi-wan began.

"Things...are good..." Xanatos agreed.

"Things for the baby..." he finished softly.

"Oh...that...that's good..." Xanatos nodded. They stared back at one another the silence becoming awkward once more.

"Um yes...well...unn...l...let me show you..." Obi-wan pulled out several outfits and toys while Xanatos nodded vaguely at each. Obi-wan ran out of items after a few moments and the silence resumed.

He picked up a jumper and began to fold it, sitting it on the end of his dresser. He began to do the same for the next. Xantos following his lead picked up a pair of pajamas and folded them too.

"Xani...?" Obi-wan asked after several more minutes in silence "Are you still mad at me...?"

The raven haired man didn't answer right away but finished folding a small jacket and set it on the table. "...I..don't know..." he finally answered "Are you still mad at me...?" he turned to look at Obi-wan his ice blue eyes questioning.

Obi-wan felt his control slipping, as he sniffed. "I don't think I ever was ...not really...I'm sorry Xani..." He felt the other man get up and pull him into a hug.

"It's alright Obi-wan "Xanatos whispered, giving Obi-wan a tug on his arm, "Come with me .. I wanna show you something..." He lead him down the hallway and to the door he'd come out of. Pushing it open, he let Obi-wan step inside.

Obi-wan squinted, the room was dark, he couldn't see much of anything...

"Xani..I can't..."

With a flick of a switch, Xanatos, stood back grinning as the room was suddenly lit up, to reveal a beautiful nursery. Obi-wan gasped his hands coming to his mouth.

"X...Xan..ni.. You...but..." He looked at the walls still gleaming with fresh yellow paint. The same yellow paint, Obi-wan noticed suddenly that Xanatos seemed to be wearing on himself in several locations.

Obi-wan's face broke into a smile. "Oh..Xani !!" He cried grabbing him in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry for being a bit overprotective Obi-wan..." Xanatos explained. " I just...well...I just wanted you to have... everything... perfect and safe..." He gave a shrug, "Even if it meant being a raging tiger to do so."

Obi-wan smiled. "Thank you ...thank you so much."

Come on...let's head down to dinner" Xantos said. They walked down the hallway quietly until Xani turned to him "Soooo...do you forgive me...?" he asked pouting slightly.

Obi-wan gave a wicked grin as he headed into the kitchen.

"That depends... are you still planning to tie me up tiger...?"

"Oh neverrrrrrr" Xanatos growled.

"Oh you paper tiger...!!!"Obi-wan laughed, grabbing him close. "Xani, your roar is much worse than your bite."

* * *

To Be Continued ... 

Author's Note: I finally have a place for my art work:

I have some Rogue Jedi art up, hope to get more up soon. Enjoy !!!!!!!

(for a link to the artwork just check up in my profile )

Benvolieo


	27. Look at what love has done to us

The Rouge Jedi --------Chapter 26

**Look At What Love Has Done To Us**

* * *

Obi-wan leaned back carefully in his seat, watching as Xanatos put together the cradle with veritable ease. The young jedi had attempted to help, but endeavors of the physical nature soon left him breathless, not to mention that the unfortunate accident of his belly knocking over the half finished cradle frame onto Xani's toe, had left the dark jedi a bit wary of his help.

So now he sat and watched as the other man leapt about nimbly setting up the room.

"Ta-Da !" Xanatos exclaimed as he stood up dusting off his hands. There before him stood the cradle, finished up and standing and looking absolutely wonderful.

"It's beautiful Xani, thank you" Obi-wan replied somewhat listlessly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Xanatos asked walking over and sitting down next to his companion, "you seem kinda down.."

" I'm sorry Xani, ...I just feel so useless....I can't do anything anymore. I can't even help put together a cradle for my own baby! I mean ... look at me !!!"

"Don't mind if I do" Xanatos grinned.

Obi-wan glared at him, "I'm serious, ..I'm huge. I'm wearing your clothes...I waddle, not walk...waddle and I'm leaving you and Jemez to do everything."

"Hey, take it easy Obi-wan we don't mind. Jemez has wanted an excuse to go traveling for a while now anyway, and what better excuse then to go shopping for baby things." Xani explained, realizing that the jedi was probably missing the small alien servant, since he left on a private errand a few days ago.

"I'm not that bad a cook, it's just you and me for a few more days." he shrugged.

"Xani, you're still injured, you should be taking it easy too" he chided.

"Ahh, I'm alright . A little sore here and there," he gave his bandaged arm a rub. "I'll be ok"

"hmmph" Obi-wan folded his arms as best he could over his mid-section, and tried to look intimidating.

Xanatos smirked "Awww is somebody grumpy..? " he teased, ruffling Obi-wan's hair, an action he had just recently learned annoyed the man to no end.

"NO ..and stop that.." Obi-wan growled " you'd be snappish too if you were carrying around a bantha strapped to your guts 24/7"

"Ok, ok..fair enough.." Xanatos put his hands up in mock defeat, taking a seat next to the jedi. "How about I finish up here while you have a nice hot bath and relax away those grumpies.....then I've got a surprise for you"

Obi-wan cocked an eyebrow "I'm listening.."

"Hee hee" Xani grinned, "How does a nice dinner in sound ..? All your favorites, just the two of us. We can take all the time in the world, just talking or doing whatever you want.

"Hmmmm.." Obi-wan gave a shrewd leer, " Why do I get the feeling this is gonna be more than just a quiet dinner...?"

Xanatos laughed sheepishly //Damn jedi mind readers//

"Xani, you know I'm not that type of jedi" Obi-wan teased back "I hardly know you and what would the neighbors think..?"

"Ha ha ha, funny, but you know...well ...we've already slept together."

".........." Obi-wan blinked he gave the man a blank look.

Xanatos' smile softened as he recalled the memory. "Back when I first found you, that night when..."

Obi-wan nodded " Yes, I remember. My living pillow that nearly scared me half to death." He was silent for a moment remembering all the events from that night.

"Umm...well you best go start your bath and please attempt to relax hmmm"

Obi-wan smiled still lost in thought, "Yes ....I'll try"

******************************************************************************

* * *

"Hmmmm" Obi-wan sighed, releasing a deep breath and letting himself sink lower into the warm water. He was feeling better since getting in the bath, even the slight annoyance of his island stomach protruding from the soap suds in front of him wasn't bothering him anymore.

He smiled to himself laying his hands on the bulge.

// Soon you'll be in my arms..//

It still seems so unreal, impossible really that his life had changed so much in a mere 8 3/4 months. He thought back to Xanatos' comment {_ 'we've already slept together'_}

// He found me, helped me. Gave me a home a reason to go on. I don't wish to think about what may have happened if I'd been left to my own devices. (Sigh) ....Maybe you're right Xani, maybe I am a bit stubborn.//

// A bit..? //

// Xanatos !!! You're doing it again. !//

// Sorry, but you were projecting to me //

" hmmph" Obi-wan growled doing his best to send death vibes to the other man.

// Ouch ! ...ok ok.. I get the hint. I just wanted to let you know that dinner is almost ready. How about we dine alfresco ..?//

// Sounds good. Ok, I'll be there in a minute..//

// Shall I wait here then and keep you company..?// Obi-wan felt a teasing tendril of force shimmer through his mind.

// No, get out of my head, I'm naked you cheeky bastard !!! // Obi-wan chuckled as he felt the connection in his mind register shock before going silent and knew Xanatos had reluctantly left him to his privacy.

"Honestly if he thinks he's gonna see me nude, looking like this then.......then" Obi-wan stopped mid rant taking careful observation of the bathtub. "Hmm" he placed his arms on either side and heaved. Nothing. Bracing his foot on the edge he pushed against it with all his might and went nowhere.

"I don't believe this !" he gasped his eyes bulging. "I'm actually stuck in the tub..... this grr is ...unnn...not...unnm...happening!" after a few minutes more spent in a vain attempt at freedom, Obi-wan sank back into the tub.

"This is happening .............and it's all Qui-gon's fault !!" Obi-wan felt his eyes brim with tears as he hit another mood swing.

//Obi-wan are you ok..? // Xanatos' voice cut into his mind.

// DO I LOOK OK TO YOU !!!! //

// um...I can't see you Obi..//

// GOOD !! I don't want anybody to see me ...not like this //

"Obi-wan?" this time the voice came from outside the bathroom door.

"Don't come in !!" The panicked jedi cried.

"I won't....I just wanted to make sure you were ok.." Xanato's voice sounded muffled from behind the door "What's wrong Obi-wan..? I can feel you upset about something.."

"Go away.." He sobbed "I don't want anyone to see me like this....I'm so fat and hideous"

Xanatos took a deep breath " Obi-wan stop talking like that, you're not hideous ....you're pregnant and it's not forever, soon you're gonna have a little miracle to hold and you wont have to worry about all the heartache you've gone through" Xanatos stopped to clear his throat before continuing nervously. " and......I....I'll be there to help you ......"

// If you'll let me.....//

//Really...?//

"I promise " Xanatos assured him. " Now, are you gonna tell me what the problem is...?"

"........................"

"Obi-wan..?"

"You'll laugh at me...." he hiccuped.

Xanatos pressed his face to the door, trying to hear the ever decreasing responses. "I promise I won't laugh at you Obi-wan...no matter what....ok..?"

"...................................ok.." came the small reply at last. ".............................................."

"Obi-wan..?"

".....I'm stuck"

"Stuck...? ..............stuck where...?" Xanatos screwed up his brows in a face.

"I'm s..stuck.... in ..t...the bath tub" the young jedi moaned, beginning to sob once more. "I'm too fat to get out ...I. ....I'm.."

"Obi-wan ," Xanatos spoke softly through the door. He could hear the sobs quieting and knew that the distraught padawan was listening to him.

"Obi-wan, can I come in..?" He asked.

".........................."

"I won't laugh at you"

"Sniff "

"We need to get you out of the tub so that you can come an enjoy the rest of the evening with me." he smiled.

"Why do you want to ........no........I don't want you to see me like this..... I'm ugly" the voice trailed off quietly.

" Obi-wan, listen to me, you're not ugly, and you need to get out of that tub. Come on Obi, let me come in and help you. I promise I wont laugh." Xanatos explained "I won't even look if it bothers you so much." He waited listening by the door. " Obi..? ......Can I come in please..?"

Obi-wan sat in the tub, silent for a moment before a quiet "yes" came from his lips.

Xanatos opened the door, keeping his eyes shut tight, he made his way to the tub.

"OK, I'm not peeking," he assured Obi-wan as he placed his hands under the jedi's arms and pulled.

// Wow, he really is stuck..!//

// I heard that !!// a voice growled through his head.

//..hee..hee .sorry Obi..//

"Hmph.."

"I got it" Xanatos grinned, as he wrapped both arms around Obi-wan's torso and pulled harder. Slowly the young jedi inched up and out of the tub. Groping about Xanatos found a towel and proceeded to hand it to Obi-wan's general direction.

"Thanks...." Obi-wan murmured, his voice still thick with sadness.

"Shhhh.... Obi" Xanatos replied, offering a box of tissues to his companion. "It's over now ok.?"

" ..I....I'm so embarrassed" Obi-wan whispered wiping his eyes.

"Why..?" Xanatos asked unbelievingly.

"Look at me....crying like this...over ..n...n...nothing. .I...I'm falling to ..p.. pieces." He grabbed another tissue pressing it to his eyes. "I'm just...being so weak...... I don't know want's wrong with me ........ I'd never.....never....."

"Weak..? You...?" Xanatos exclaimed in incomprehension. " Obi-wan, you've got to be one of the strongest, bravest, people I know..seriously"

"Really.." Obi-wan sniffed, looking at the floor. "I'm..... just so.....ugly.."

"You. Are. Not. Ugly !" " Xanatos said firmly, grasping the young jedi's shoulders "You never were and you aren't now." His ice blue eyes fluttered beneath his closed lids, barley able to keep from opening to peer down into Obi-wan's deeper stormy blue ones. He could feel the jedi's breath on his cheek and knew that their faces were mere inches apart now. He felt his mouth go dry and flicked his tongue over his lips before continuing in a bare whisper. " You are beautiful, all of you. You have the face of an angel." He assured his companion, as he rubbed a hand down

the slim cheekbone removing the traces left by tears. " You have a smile that is bright as the sunshine" he continued, running a finger over soft lips. " You have arms with immeasurable numbers of skills and...." He smiled as he fingered a scar on one of the jedi's arms " You've used them well"

His hands trailed over Obi-wan's shoulders and slowly began to slide down his backside. " You have a back and shoulders that bare more sorrow and grief that anyone should have to, yet still you manage to walk tall and strong."

Xanatos's hands moved to the front and slid down, cupping the large bulge at the mid-section through the thick towel. Obi-wan stiffened and gasped, looking up into Xanatos's face, his eyes were still closed tightly, but there was a small smile on his lips as he spoke. "You had the strength to carry life, to continue on even when the road looked bleak. You didn't have to keep it, you didn't have to go though any of this. But you did...you are..." Xanatos brought a hand up to stroke through Obi-wan's wet locks. With his other arm he took Obi-wan's hand placing a gentle kiss upon the knuckles before placing it on his abdomen. " and soon....so very soon you are going to get your reward." He gave Obi-wan's hand a squeeze. "You're not weak Obi-wan, you are strong, so very, very strong." he finished.

He felt Obi-wan's hands fall atop his own and return the squeeze. "Thank you Xani" Obi-wan spoke quietly.

"Can I open my eyes now..?" the dark jedi asked.

A small chuckle came to his ears "Yes" Obi-wan answered.

Xanatos cautiously peeked open one eye, then the next and found himself staring into the deep blue depths of Obi-wan's gaze, somewhat red rimmed from crying earlier but now sparkling with happiness. He looked down at his hands still resting upon the jedi's middle. Obi-wan followed his gaze, his cheeks flushing when he saw where Xanatos was staring; he dropped his eyes to the floor. The dark jedi felt a smile split his face as he watched the blush spread from Obi-wan's cheeks to move across the bridge of his nose.

" I know.. I'm big an-" Xanatos used a finger to gently silence Obi-wan's nervous rambling.

"You're beautiful" he stated matter of factly allowing his hand to rub small circles over Obi-wan's abdomen "Every last piece of you" with a smile he closed his eyes once more and gestured to the rack.

Obi-wan smiled, grabbing up a loose tunic from the rack and putting it on.

"I think I'm ready for dinner now Xani"

******************************************************************************

* * *

Xanatos sighed, leaning back in his seat and gazing up at the stars in the sky.

" Well I can't say that I have Jemez's talent for cooking , but I must say it was good none the less." he smirked glancing over at Obi-wan.

"Yes," the young jedi agreed. "Your idea of dining out on the balcony was an excellent choice. It's a beautiful night."

"Yeah ...beautiful" Xanatos sighed his smile widening as his eyes came to rest on his companion.

Obi-wan blushed, turning his head as he set down his fork, his focus upon the star lit sky. "Beautiful.." he murmured.

Xanatos glanced over at his companions plate a concerned look coming to his brow, " Obi-wan, are you feeling alright..?" he asked "you hardly touched your meal.."

"I'm fine Xani, a bit tired..... I guess I just don't feel very hungry at the moment.."

"I know I'm no Jemez, but I hoped I wasn't that bad.." Xanatos sighed with mock hurt.

"It's not you" Obi-wan chuckled softly, leaning back to gaze deeply at the stars again.

Xanatos watched him quietly, "You're thinking about him huh...?"

Obi-wan continued to gaze wistfully at the stars, his hands on his middle rubbing slow circles. A small smile crept to the young jedi's face " no..." he replied, staring at the sky for a few more moments before turning suddenly to Xanatos, his eyes bright and shining "It's really happening isn't it..? he asked somewhat urgently.

Xanatos nodded sensing the slight wave of uncertainty that coursed though the young jedi. He smiled pulling him close, and wrapping him in his arms. "Yes.....it won't be much longer now " he whispered. He felt the young man relax

"Good... because believe me I'll be happy to see this belly go" Obi-wan muttered dryly.

"You're not really **that** big.." Xanatos shrugged.

"Nonsense, I'm growing wider every second." Obi-wan replied curtly.

Xanatos sighed "You're imagining it "

Obi-wan pulled back from the embrace and looked the raven haired man straight in the eye.

"Xani, I got stuck in your bath tub."

Xanatos felt his cheeks go red, "unnn....well. ....er......it's probably just small..." he stammered

Obi-wan didn't look convinced.

"Your tub is big enough to hold a wookie..." Obi-wan pointed out.

""Um.....yes ...but well .....um.....under all that fur their really not that big....."

Obi-wan gave him a glare, and Xanatos sighed knowing he'd lost the argument. "Ok fair enough you got stuck"

"Because I'm huge" Obi-wan griped. Xanatos cringed he could see a little rain cloud forming over the jedi's head and darkening his mood once more, if he didn't do something he was gonna have a full force storm to deal with.

Gently picking up Obi-wan's hands he gave them a squeeze, he glanced up to see two sky blue eyes staring back at him from beneath a curtain of frost coloured locks. "It'll be worth it soon...I promise.." he breathed , feeling his heart soar as Obi-wan gently lay back against him, his head pillowed against Xanatos's shoulder. They sat quietly listening to the night sounds of the city and each others heartbeats until.

"Have you thought of what you're going to call her ..? Xanatos asked.

"Her..?" Obi-wan blinked "How do you know what I'm having..?"

"Er..... well I don't .......but technically all babies start out as females..... ... I figured I'd just go with the default."

Obi-wan cocked an eyebrow at him quizzically.

"Well it sounded better than calling her 'It' " He shrugged.

"True" Obi-wan agreed, "To be honest I haven't thought of any names at all" he frowned

// How could I forget that rather vital step...? //

"Er well ....un....I thought of one or two...." Xanatos quickly mumbled "...you know...just in passing..."

Obi-wan smirked, knowing that Xanatos had probably spent the better part of several days thinking over some names. "Tell me them Xani.." he smiled " I haven't thought of any so it's a good thing one of us has"

"OK..... um well if it's a boy I've always loved the name Ben ..or Ken and if it's a girl, Wren sounded nice."

"Hmm.... you like rhythm time I see.." Obi-wan chuckled. Xanatos grimaced ducking his head.

" You're right they're silly..."

"No, no.." Obi-wan broke in "I think they're lovely names Xani, Thank you." He smiled leaning his head back on the older mans chest and closing his eyes as he felt Xanatos begin to rub his shoulders. He sighed in contentment, breathing in his companions cologne and hearing his heart beat steadily beside him. He felt himself begin to doze off as a calm overtook him.

" !...." He jumped slightly when he felt a warm, wet splash hit his neck, followed quickly by 2 more. Looking up Obi-wan was shocked to see his companion crying silently staring into space with a look of unmasked horror in the icy blue depths of his eyes.

"Xanatos...?.." Obi-wan asked "...Xani..?.."

"I'm .... sorry" Xanatos gulped, quickly wiping away the offending teardrops. "I didn't mean to.......I...I....shouldn't be acting so...... so silly.."

"What's wrong" Obi-wan asked.

Xanatos shook his head "I don't want to bother you with.....s. stupid .....l ...little things.."

"Like hell you won't !!" Obi-wan stated, a bit more forcefully then he meant to.

"What's wrong...? Tell me why are so upset...?.."

Xanatos sniffed, his eyes getting that far away look in them once more as he ran his hands over Obi-wan's shoulders and down his arms stopping to finger the new scars that he'd received from his battle at the temple. His eyes looked haunted as they penetrated into the fresh white slashes with their intensity.

"......you...were so pale...." He whispered. " I .....thought ...... that you ..were gonna............" His voice cracked and he swallowed loudly, squeezing his eyes shut, as tears spilled out from under his lashes.

" I ran....as....as fast .........as.. I ....I could ................. n ....n .....never forgive ..m..myself ....... If ...y ...y...you........ if .......d..........died..............." he shuddered, giving into a deep wracking sob.

"Oh Xani" Obi-wan soothed, grabbing the shaking shoulders and pulling him as close as he possibly could . "it's ok ... I'm ok ... I'm here now ... we're here together ok....." he held the shaking form close to him rocking gently to and fro and running his fingers through the man's long raven hair.

After a bit Xanatos seemed to get himself together and pulled back sitting up straight once more.

"Sorry...." he mumbled.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh" Obi-wan nodded, his hand reached up to brush the tears away.

"I've been .....having nightmares about it ...................for weeks now........." He murmured. "Ones ...where ..............where you don't...........you..." he gave a shudder.

"Hush" Obi-wan gently commanded, placing a hand over his trembling lips. "I'm here Xani, and I have you to thank for that fact. You've been the best Xani, you're my rock"

Xanatos chuckled softly giving the young jedi a wet smile , his humor returning to him. "Just.... just don't take me for granite huh.." he chuckled again, Obi-wan joining him a moment later.

******************************************************************************

* * *

"Wow Xani these are all your's..?" Obi-wan exclaimed as he admired the various drawings and artwork in the older mans bedroom chamber. The two had retreated inside after their soul searching and Xanatos had felt a sudden compulsion to show Obi-wan some of his most personal treasures.

Namely his drawings.

"Yes" Xanatos nodded, walking past a large colourful canvas of a Cerelian Autumn to stand next to Obi-wan in front of a tweak portrait he'd done many years ago when he was still a padawan at the temple.

"She was my friend.." he stated simply.

"She's beautiful ......her eyes" Obi-wan breathed, he was almost mesmerized by the bright green fiery depths and the skill at which Xanatos had managed to capture them. If he had not known better he'd swear he was staring at the real flesh and blood being and not just a 2 dimensional flat piece of canvas.

"Yes..... She went missing during a mission before I left the temple.. ..... They never found her.... no one knows what happened........." he closed his eyes in grief

"I'm sorry Xani..." Obi-wan said. "You drew her to remember her...?"

"Um.....well ... I draw from model...." He said wringing his hands nervously, he gestured to a smaller square of canvas and Obi-wan's eyes widened as he came face to face with the deep piercing blue eyes of his Master. "Qui-gon" he whispered.

" I draw all the people who are important to me" Xanatos muttered, a hand rubbing the back of his neck in a self-conscious fashion.

"O ...Obi-wan ....you mean..more to me ......t...than anyone ....th....then my own life....." Xantos stammered.

"Oh" Obi-wan started, as a hand clasped his own, he looked up into the pale blue eyes. "Uh Xani........ " Obi-wan felt his cheeks burning at such powerful confessions from the man beside him.

"Please ......please let me draw you !!" Xanatos blurted out suddenly.

"What right now ..?" Obi-wan asked taken back by the request.

"Yes " Xantos smiled his eyes shining.

"Um... I don't know .............." Obi-wan squirmed "Maybe in a couple months Xani ... when I'm a little thinner...right now I'm fat"

Xanatos laughed quietly "No, you're beautiful" he assured the young jedi leading him over to the full length mirror and standing behind him. They stared side on into the mirror looking back at their reflection. Obi-wan sighed.

//beached whale alert//

//stop that..//

Xanatos brought his head down, laying his chin in the crook of Obi-wan's neck. He was looking at the reflection with a warm passion.

"You're a work of art in and of yourself..Obi-wan...." he murmured in his ear. "Standing there heavy with child.............absolutely glowing. I want to capture this moment.

Xanatos brought his arms around Obi-wan's middle , just managing to link them together.

"! " The young jedi gasped as a short burst of rapid kicks went through him followed by a strong feeling of peacefulness. He looked up and caught the look of wonder in Xanatos's eyes.

"Alright.." He agreed, he took a seat near the easel and waited for Xanatos to begin.

The dark haired man stayed firmly planted where he was, watching Obi-wan with notable embarrassment.

"Well?" Obi-wan asked.

"Um...a....." Xanantos seemed to have gone a vibrant shade of plum. "I was going for ....un...natural...."

"Excuse me...?"

"Nude ...um... modeling..."

"............................................................................."

// You want me to sit butt naked wile you draw me.?...//

// Yep that's the general idea..// Xantos replied giddy with nerves. // You did say you'd have to grin and bare it eventually..//

//Xanatos !!// Obi-wan snapped. He recoiled deeper into himself, part of him want to hide away totally and yet a small part was curious to see how Xanatos's talented hands would portray him on canvas.

//If I don't like it ...?//

// I'll toss in the fire and we'll roast marshmallows on it .... I promise...//

// ...I ...I don't know...// Obi-wan hesitated.

// ..............mmmmmm.......Marshmallows// Xanato's playful teasing came flooding across.

Obi-wan laughed, he felt the warmth of their bond, Xanatos was sincere.

// Very well..//

Xanatos nodded closing his eyes and turning about as Obi-wan began to shrug out of his tunic and leggings and settled himself once more by the easel. Taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart,

//OK..// he stared pointedly at the ground in front of him as he heard Xanatos turn around, and come closer to him. Light hesitant fingers brushed against his bare skin moving his limbs into position.

"Beautiful.." Xanatos whispered in his ear as he tilted his head slightly, and Obi-wan had to suppress a shiver.

******************************************************************************

"There" Xanatos grinned scribbling a word in the corner before dusting off his hands and covering the canvas.

"That word.. What does it mean..?" Obi-wan asked "I noticed it was on all your paintings..."

"Myison, " Xanatos replied, "It's my pen name of sorts. It means ....well for me anyway......un that no matter how bad things get......everything is going to be ok....you know"

"It means hope then...?" Obi-wan offered.

"Xanatos thought quietly before smiling "Ya........I guess that's exactly what it means. He smirked picking up the canvas and tucking it under his arm.

"Don't I get to see..?" Obi-wan asked from his position.

"Not till it's finished, though to be fair I suppose I should just toss it right now for no mere mortal hand or eye could capture thy perfect symmetry." he stated taking the canvas and walking out of the room to put it away. "It is but a fools attempt."

"Perfect symmetry...? I look like I swallowed a beach ball" Obi-wan muttered laying back on the bed.

"Unghh" he groaned as another round of kicks hit him.

"Obi..?"

"Unn.." he opened his eyes to see Xanatos staring down at him with concern. "You ok..?"

"Ya, she's just getting a little exercise" he grimaced, watching as Xanatos's eyes stayed glued to the rippling bulge.

"I'm huge I know.." He sighed.

"Unn.. Wah... no...no it's not that.." Xanatos quickly assured him his eyes not moving "It's your stomach........ kinda moving....around like that..................it's kinda cool..." he grinned.

// that's sweet Xani //

"Like that show where aliens burst out of peoples guts....."

Obi-wan blinked at him. // OK sweet feeling's gone....ewww...//

//Um....ok that was a bad example ....... un more like ....um.........well I guess there is no good example really// he flopped down beside Obi-wan watching the bulges in his mid-section appear then vanish as a small fist or foot hit it's mark.

"Unnngg" Obi-wan groaned leaning forward.

"Obi..?"

"I'm ok..." he breathed " Junior just got a particularly good hit in" he exhaled slowly, moving about in an attempt to get comfortable.

"Does it hurt..?"

"No.... not really. Unng......not usually. It feels....." Obi-wan struggled for the right word. " Sorta weird I guess......."

Xanatos nodded watching a moment more before turning to look at Obi-wan "May I..?"

"Go ahead.." he nodded wincing a bit as another strong kick hit him in the side.

Warm hands wrapped around him as Xanatos pulled him back against his chest. Hands rubbing large slow circles in his abdomen. Obi-wan smiled feeling a calm spread through him as he began to drift off into sleep.

"Feeling better...?" Xanatos asked.

"Yessssss" Obi-wan slurred slightly as he felt Xanatos's lips ghost across his abdomen briefly before being replaced by the large warm hands once more.

"Come on Obi.." Xanatos whispered in his ear.

"Unnnn ..Xani..."

"Come on I'll walk you to your bed or your gonna fall asleep on me right here."

Obi-wan groaned letting himself be led out of the room and down the hallway.

"Here come on get in and lay down I'll tuck you in.." Xanatos said pulling back the covers.

"Than....nks" Obi-wan mumbled almost asleep.

"No problem Obi-wan ..I was ju—" Xanatos's eyes widened as he was cut off mid-sentence by a pair of arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down to claim his lips in a gentle but passionate kiss.

It was over almost as quickly as it had happened, Obi-wan's head sank into his pillow his eyes already closed. "So ...tired...hope you....... don't mind.....Thanks" he murmured once more.

Xanatos stood in baffled silence, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile.

"Not... at ......all" he whispered.

* * *

To be continued......................................


	28. You don't know what you've got

**The Rouge Jedi Chapter 27**

**You don't know what you've got …. until you loose it**

* * *

The evening air was warm, peaceful and unusually beautiful this evening. The various citizens of Coruscant milled about the busy square heedless of the large lone figure striding thru their midst. Qui-gon walked aimlessly thru the many narrow streets, his mind buzzing constantly. He'd been restless all day long, like he was waiting for some great even to happen, it felt exhilarating and yet somehow oppressive, like thunder before the breaking of a storm.

He glanced over his shoulder to watch a young boy laugh gleefully, as his parents each took a hand and led him away down the street. Qui-gon felt the empty aching sensation that so often accompanied him these days flare up in full force.

He was a terrible master, first to Xanatos, and then to Obi-wan.

/ and now to poor Anakin as well ../ he hung his head.

He knew the young boy deserved better than he was giving him, but lately his thoughts were being inadvertently drawn to memories of a young man with snow white locks and deep blue eyes that danced with mischief. Qui-gon turned down an alley way to a lower part of the city. He'd been this way countless times before with Obi-wan, it was easy to let his mind wander as his feet carried him where they may.

Memories flooded his thoughts as they often did nowadays. It had been close to a year since Obi-wan's departure, and well over a month since that fateful night on the temple grounds. Qui-gon winced at the memory placing a large hand over his nose which still sported the remnants of a burn mark across the bridge, courtesy of one very miffed ex padawan.

/ Xanatos…Obi-wan…/

He gazed out over the vast reaches of the city as his mind reached back through the years.

* * *

_He sat watching the student's spar, impressed at the reserve and perseverance of one young boy in particular. A small boy , with short cropped white hair, and deep, soulful eyes. Qui-gon was impressed, but wary too, having been hurt so recently, he'd felt his heart quiver, felt shields come up to protect. He gave the boy a curt nod and continued on his way determined not to ever feel such pain again._

/ But you had other idea's Obi-love/ Qui-gon gave a sad smile

The young boy had fought by his side, following him from one danger to the next. Always ready always patient despite his best efforts to spurn him. It worked, eventually Qui-gon had seen the light in Obi-wan's heart and accepted the young man as his padawan.

Qui-wan turned down another alley and stood staring at the point where his feet had taken him. Didi's Café

/ I came here with Obi-wan….. when he was just a young boy…/ with a reluctant sigh he walked in through the door. / Perhaps a greeting from an old friend will cheer me up../

Pushing open the door he made his way into the pleasant cafe and looked about for a seat; his gaze came to rest upon a small booth at the front of the store for some reason he felt drawn to that particular seat. Settling down in the booth he looked out the window and waited for the waiter to serve him.

/ Obi-wan, we came here so many times through the years/ he glanced over at a small table in the corner as his memory took him back to a happier time.

_" Come on master " Obi-wan smiled as he jumped into his seat at the small table . Qui-gon smiled back taking his own seat. He and Obi-wan had been coming to Didi's now for several months. It was a reward of sorts after the return of a mission, Didi was a good friend and Qui-gon liked to see the alien keeper whenever time permitted it. "hmmm ... so what are you gonna have" Obi-wan asked looking up over his menu._

_" I'm not sure yet" Qui-gon answered taking his time to gaze upon Obi-wan and grace the younger man with a smile. / Tonight will be a night to remember ../ Qui-gon thought to himself, the hand in his pocket fingered the ring which he had concealed there._

_"Qui-gon, Obiwan" a hearty voice shouted at them, they both turned to see a rotund four armed alien charging into the vicinity. "It's been moons Qui-gon, wherea you been huh?" Didi said grabbing both jedi in a pair of strong arms for a bone crushing hug._

_"unnn" Obi-wan grimaced as the breath was squeezed from him. "Hi Didi, it's good to...see you again" he gasped_

_"Ha ha , little Obi-wan" Didi smiled "Is ita really you?" he stepped back to look the young jedi over "why I remember the first time you came here, you wasa only disa big" he dropped one of his arms to his side indicating where Obi-wan's short stature had come to in his childhood days ._

_Obi-wan smiled bashfully, looking up into his masters eyes. / We've come a long way since then haven't we? /_

_Qui-gon gazed longingly down into the deep blue hues of Obi-wan's eyes / we most certainly have Obi-love/ they both chuckled softly._

_"Ok enough jedi mind talk you two" Didi interrupted "what can I getta you tonight huh ?"_

_After placing their order , Obi-wan turned to gaze out the window, a peaceful smile on his face. Qui-gon, merely content to sit and watch his Obi-wan, put his hand in his pocket once more and pulled out the ring._

_" Obi-love " he asked_

_"hmmm" Obi-wan turned to him " yes Qui-gon what is it?"_

_"unn" Qui-gon faltered, he had never been very good at this sort of thing but here goes "Obi-love, I just want you to know that these last few months...few years...with you have been..." he swallowed nervously._

_/Qui-gon?/ Obi-wan sensed his masters anxiety, /what is it...what's wrong ? /_

_Qui-gon smiled / for once nothing / he sighed nervously " oh… Obi-wan I'm no good at this so I'll just have to try and say it, and hope I don't muddle things up too badly. Obi-wan, you are amazing, these last few months...no these last few years with you have been..so… so much more then I ever dared hope for ..."Qui-gon murmured _

_" I never thought I would find love...be loved in return..." he swallowed again, gathering his thoughts. Taking Obi-wan's hand in his own he looked deep into the younger man's eyes. "Obi-wan ...you complete me, you make me feel safe and treasured... as I've never felt before"_

_"Qui-gon" Obi-wan whispered feeling his cheeks start to blush with emotion._

_"…please Obi-wan" Qui-gon said suddenly, dropping down on one knee and holding up the ring as his humble offering "Please...would you do me this honor ... be my bonded...complete my soul."_

_Obi-wan gasped, his hand clasped over his mouth as he stared down at his master, his lover , he'd wished and hoped for so long. All those adventures all the missions and trials they had faced together. The love he had felt growing for the man since he was a small child, first as a father figure and slowly .. so slowly as a lover and partner._

_/I love you Obi-wan/_

_/I love you Qui-gon/_

_Obi-wan let the breath go he'd been holding trying to find his voice_

_"Qui-gon...I don't know what to say.."_

_"Say Yes!" Came Didi's voice from the kitchen._

* * *

"Qui-gon.." a voice interrupted his deep musings.

"huh.." he turned to see the old cafe owner smiling down at him. Friendly brown eyes blinked as he pulled up a chair and sat down next to his friend.

"Hey Qui-gon, whatsa troubling you my friend? " Didi asked

"huh?" Qui-gon blinked

" I closed over an hour ago Qui, you've been staring at that wall for some time now"

" I have many thoughts on my mind today Didi" Qui-gon began . The large alien nodded.

" So I see" he sat a large pitcher of jumba punch in front of them pouring a glass for the both of them, and handing Qui-gon a glass brimming with the strong drink.

"Please do tell" he gestured. Qui-gon furrowed his brow " it's complicated ... hard to know where to start" he sighed

"You usually geta better results when you starta at the beginning" Didi grinned.

" It's Obi-wan ..." Qui-gon began slowly "we ...he...we're sort of at odds with each other you might say"

"ah" Didi said "you had a fight"

Qui-gon grimaced, "yes.. a rather big one... he ran out on me ...it was my fault. I haven't seen him ...for awhile" he finished lamely. H e knew he was skewing the story somewhat but he was a shamed of his behaviour towards Obi-wan .

" Come on Qui'' Didi replied thumping the jedi master smartly on the back "all relationships have a few hiccups in them. "People say things they don't mean, do things they don't mean..."

"No .." Qui-gon sat the glass down hard on the table top " I acted horribly to him Didi, I acted on some very important matters without consulting him first . I thought that he would approve...but" He looked into his friends eyes. "Things got out of hand ...and he stormed out"

Didi sat back rubbing his chin in thought, he'd seen the young jedi a few weeks ago when he'd come in with a small green alien and some shopping bags . Obi-wan had waved to him but kept to himself and he'd assumed the young man had been busy buying some essentials as the lad looked about ready to pop any day.

/ Perhaps he was staying with this alien friend of his, cooling off, pregnancy id things to ones hormones after all / He remembered his own daughters birth; several times during the pregnancy he'd almost been slaughtered by his wife's hands. He looked back at Qui-gon

"He's ok Qui, I saw him in here a couple of weeks ago"

"What!" Qui-gon's eyes bulged "when! …where!" Didi rapped his knuckles on the table they sat at "right here"

Qui-gon stared, his Obi-wan had been here in the cafe in this very booth a mere two weeks ago, that meant that he was still on Coruscant that meant... Qui-gon turned back to Didi "was he with anyone?" he demanded.

" Yeah a small little green fellow " Didi said racking his brain for more details "They had a short stay for a drink, looked busy lots of shopping"

Qui-gon sat back dissolving this information. Obi- wan had been in here two weeks ago, with an alien, not Xanatos, but someone, most likely a servant, he had a large quantity of supplies and they appeared in a hurry. He frowned as the thought hit him

/ Obi-wan must have been getting ready to leave Coruscant / Qu-gon felt his heart tear open afresh, his Obi-wn , his completion of his soul was gone, left. Never to return. / and it's my fault I drove him away with my stupidity and then with my sheer hatred/

"Qui? Qui? …you still with me mate ?" Didi wave an arm in front of him.

Qui-gon nodded, his heart felt about to burst as he staggered to his feet "I'm sorry for keeping you Didi, I really must get going, thank you old friend. He turned and headed to the door as Didi watched .

/ Poor chap, don't know weather he's coming or going. Ahhh well fatherhood will do that to you./

"Oi…. hey Qui…"

/It's my fault your gone Obi, I hurt you drove you away ruined everything we had ../

"Qui-gon …congratulations mate.."

/ Yes congratulations … you old fool/ / he thought angrily to himself and he walked back down the deserted alleyways, looking beseechingly up at the stars. It had been a waste of time to come down here tonight, yet he'd been so sure he'd find something. Arriving back at the temple he gave the stars one last glance, still unable to shake the odd feeling he had, he could feel something, the force had been prodding him all day whispering to him... but why..?.

Obi-wan, his beloved was gone and he had only himself to blame. He took his usual seat in the corner of the fountain room, hoping to meditate for a spell before trying to sleep, he let the sounds of the water come to him as they would recalling his conversation with Didi,

/ I'm the reason your gone, the reason we are over…/ he thought, glaring at his reflection in the flowing water. He slapped the calm surface with his hand destroying the image

"Congratulations" he berated himself bitterly.

* * *

"_Obi-wan" Xanatos called as he walked into the kitchens, a delightful smell reaching his nose._

" _and what are you doing up so early ..?" He smirked walking over to his snowy haired companion and capturing him in an embrace. _

" _Xani, cut it out you goof" Obi-wan chuckled pushing the older man back. "I'll burn our breakfast if you distract me. Now take a seat, it's my turn to cook" _

_Xanatos nodded, seating himself at the table "Ok then, I like my eggs scrambled master chef." he replied. Picking up the paper and turning to the business section._

_There was a loud clang as the pan suddenly fell to the floor._

" _Xani !" there was an intense fear in the young jedi's , as Xanatoe's head shot up from the paper._

"_What is it..? what's wrong ? " _

"_Xani ! Xani !" Obi-wan screamed, as the raven haired man griped him about the shoulders._

"_Obi-wan ..what's wrong…. Is ..is it..?" He placed a shaking hand across Obi-wan abdomen._

"_Xanatos…help me !"_

* * *

"Xanatos …"

"huh..?" Xanatos's eyes shot open, and he realized he was laying in his bed.

/ I was dreaming../ he sighed setting up and wiping the cold sweat from his brow. He placed a hand on his chest feeling his heart racing, fit to burst from his ribcage.

/ I'm ok… it's ok….everything is alright…./ he took a deep calming breath.

"….Xanatos…?" he heard a soft voice from his doorway.

"Obi-wan, ….did I wake you…?... I'm sor…" he looked over to see the young jedi leaning against the door frame.

"Xani.." His voice had a pleading note of uncertainty in it as he swayed on his feet.

"Obi-wan !" Xantos cried, jumping up from his bed and catching the man before he toppled forward. "Obi.." he spoke in hushed tones, letting the jedi lean against him, he gave him a gentle shake "Obi.."

A soft gasp escaped from Obi-wan lips, his eyes glittered brightly with fear as he turned to look up into Xanatos's face

"Xani…" he grit his teeth against a wave of pain, "It's time"

To Be Continued ...


	29. Today is that tomorrow

The Rouge Jedi

**Chapter 29 – Today Is That Tomorrow That I Dreamed Of Yesterday.**

**WARNING THERE IS A BIRTH SCENE HERE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE JUST SKIP THIS CHAPTER.!**

* * *

"Obi-wan" Xanatos exclaimed throwing back the sheets and jumping from the bed. He bolted to the stricken form before him.

"uuugnhh" Obi-wan winced clutching at his stomach, "Oh Xani… …it hurts !" He groaned , biting his lip as another wave of pain washed over him. He took a few unsteady steps into the room , before staggering forwards as his legs buckled.

"Obi-wan" Xanatos grabbed his companion before he hit the floor, pulling him close.

"Hang on Obi-wan" he said as he began to help the young jedi slowly towards the bed.

"AAARRGGHH!" Obiwan suddenly cried out, doubling over as another contraction hit him. Gasping he felt his knees go weak and tried to sink to the floor. Xanatos held him upright, and arm snaking about his waist.

"Come on Obi…we're almost there" he coaxed, trying to keep his voice calm and steady "Just a bit further to the bed."

He lowered Obi-wan on the bed, placing him gently on his side.

"Stay put Obi-wan I'll go and call the healers

"Please hurry.." Obi-wan gasped holding the older man's hand in a death grip.

Xanatos nodded, giving the hand a squeeze before bolting out the door "Just stay put" he called over his shoulder

Racing down the hallway, Xanatos looked down at his feet noticing small splotches of blood coming from Obi-wans room into his own. He gulped his eyes wide and ran faster.

Dashing into the kitchen he skidded to a halt tearing the phone from the wall and punching in the healers number with brute force.

/ **RING RING**/

"Come on come on answer the damn phone!" Xanatos cried clutching the receiver so hard his knuckles were turning white.

"Unnggh ...Xani!" Obi-wan called from the room.

"Im coming Obi..!"

Xanatos slammed the receiver back on the phone turning to run back when the thought came to him.

/**Jemez!**/

"Xanatos!" Obi-wans pained cry came to him.

Xanatos grabbed the receiver and raced back down the hall. Dialing the small aliens number and praying to whatever gods were listening that he answered.

"Xani.. " Obi-wan gasped as the raven haired man dashed back into the room.

"Shhh…" Xanatos soothed holding one of the young man's trembling hands "I'm here Obi ... I'm here". He watched as Obi-wan grit his teeth, a groan going through him.

"Easy...easy"

/ **what the hell am I doing ?**/ Xanatos's mind screamed / **I'm so..** /

"Hello..?"

"JEMEZ! " Xanatos screeched mashing the phone to his ear.

"Master Xanatos"

"Yes ! Yes ! Oh thank the force! You're there" he cried.

"Jemez...?" Obi-wan gasped "Why are we talking with Jemez...I thought you were calling the healer...arrgghhh!"

"Jemez you gotta help, I can't get a hold of the healer and the baby's coming.."

"What!" the small alien yelped causing Xanatos to pull the phone back from his ear.

"Xani, what do you mean you can't get a hold of the healer..?" Obi-wan wailed, panic starting to edge his voice.

"It's ok Obi-wan," Xanatos tried to calm the younger man down. "Jemez is a trained healer he can help us."

Xantos turned his back to Obi-wan bending over the receiver " Jemez you gotta get back here we need you!" He hissed.

"I'm leaving this minute Master but I am almost 2 days travel away."

Xanatos felt his heart drop into his stomach " Jemez please…" his voice cracked "You gotta help us...you gotta help Obi-wan."

"Alright stay on the line" the alien stated firmly I'll give you instructions Master but you will have to deliver this baby."

"What!" Xanatos squeaked "… me ...b..but.."

"There's no other way Xanatos," Jemez said forcefully

"Unngh ... un...Xani whats going on?" Obi-wans pained face looked up at him, eyes glittering with worry

"Obi-wan needs you Master"

Taking a deep breath Xanatos set his nerve for the task ahead of him, it was up to him to help Obi-wan get through this. Tell me what I must do Jemez.

"First I need you to gather some items" the small alien began to list the things that would be needed.

"Ok" Xanatos nodded as Jemez gave him a list of required items.

"Got it ok..." Xanatos picked himself up from the edge of the bed.

"Xani where are you going ...? "

" Obi-wan" he whispered gently taking the young jedi's hand in his own and stroking the damp hair from his eyes. " I gotta go get some things we're gonna need ok.."

"Don't….don't leave me ..please Xani" Obi-wan pleaded his grip tightening.

"I'll be right back I promise Obi… I won't leave you. I will never leave you" Obi-wan's blue eyes reflected the fear he felt deep in his own heart, but at last the jedi gave a small nod release the grip on his hand.

Xanatos hurried from the room to gather the items.

* * *

"Jemez.. how many towels.. un huh…ok.." Xantos mumbled into the receiver, he felt as though he'd swallowed a huge slab of granite as he began to heat some water.

"What am I doing..? I've never done this before….. I can't deliver a baby !" he suddenly babbled into the receiver.

"Master please get a grip, control yourself, you are Obi-wan's only support….he needs you."

Xanatos closed his eyes and forced himself to breath slowly, calming down. "ok…ok….I ..I can do this ..I can.."

"Xanatos !" The pained cry spurred him forward with a speed he'd never known.

" I'm here Obi-wan …right here !" He cried dropping the items at the foot of the bead and once more taking the young jedi's hand in his own.

"Unnnn"

"I'm here now Obi …it's gonna be ok.."

" Xani ..I'm scared" Obi-wan said, his voice small. The older man squeezed the trembling hand held within his own. " Me too.." He admitted, trying to swallow the lump of fear lodged in his throat. " But we're gonna get through this ok..? You and me …" He brushed his fingers once more through Obi-wan's white mane, ruffling the locks up and earning a half-hearted growl from the young jedi. " Just stay with me..ok.."

Obi-wan nodded his ok and gave a small smile , laying his head back on the pillow.

Xanatos watched the young jedi as he breathed deeply, his eyes closed trying to gain a calm focus. When he was certain that the young jedi as ok, he turned gripping the phone to his ear.

"Ok Jemez .. Obi-wan's meditating now quickly tell me what I got to do !"

"Has his water broke.. ?"

"huh?"..Xanatos asked

"Water, does he have fluid on his legs " Jemez relpied curtly

Unn.." Xanatos thought back to the puddles he'd found in the hall "yes yes ..its broken.."

"Then you need to figure out how far apart the contractions are Master"

Xanatos tried to think back to the last time Obi-wan had cried out.

"Ahh ... about 7-8 minutes apart ..I guess"

"Ok stay with him master, the contractions are going to have to become much more regular before the baby comes and Obi-wan will have to be fully dilated before he can deliver."

"Ok..ok" Xanatos nodded. As Obi-wan grabbed a fistful of bed-sheets gritting his teeth against the pain.

"Master you will need to check periodically to see that the dilation is proceeding..."

Xanatos blinked "exscuse me..?"

Jemez gave a quick sigh "This in no time to be faint of heart Master"

"Unn wha... what's he saying..?" Obi-wan breathed a sheen of sweat on his brow.

"Ahh..." Xanatos fumbled for the proper words ".. you're doing great ... but..uhh.. the contractions have to get closer… together before the baby will come."

Obi-wan closed his eyes letting a slow breath out " ...uunnn.. ...arghhh..." he bit his lip as another contraction ripped thru him,

"Uhh.. Xani.. theyre getting stronger" he gasped

"...and closer together ..." Xanatos mumbled

"Xanatos!" Jemez scolded from the line " you must check."

Xanatos tilted himself away from the bed gripping the phone tightly and speaking in an urgent whisper

"Jemez, how exactly do I go about that ... I mean he was too shy to let me see him in the shower a few hours ago... and now you're asking me to...well you know. We haven't really gotten that friendly yet... I mean we just kissed last night."

He smiled at the warm memory of the previous evening.

"Xanatos !" Jemez snapped pulling him back to the present. "Did you not just promise him that you would be there for him..?"

"Yes"

"Did you not promise him that you would help deliver this baby?"

"Yes"

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"...honestly Master, not to seem condescending but where exactly did you think it was going to come out….?"

/**dummy**/

"...right I guess I deserved that..."

"AArrghgh...Xani..." Obi-wan doubled over, rolling on to his side his arms wrapped across his stomach as he panted with effort.

Xanatos bit his lip feeling his determination fire up to life.

/ **I'm not gonna let you down Obi-wan**/

"Sshhh... just breath though it..." he soothed.

"Uhh...un..un..."

"Good ..that's good ...you're doing great. The contractions are getting closer, it's gonna be ok.." he gulped swallowing his hesitation at the next words he was about to say

"Uhhh... Obi-wan I need to unn...to check and see how things are progressing ..um...down there." He said pointing to Obi-wans lower body.

Obi-wan looked up at him with a shocked expression on his face "You need to look...down there...?"

"Honestly!...did either of you give this much thought" a voice stated dryly from the phone

"I guess we both deserved that " Obi-wan said as he gave Xanatos a smirk.

His expression changing to one of intense pain a moment later

Xanatos took his hand an squeezed it meeting the jedi's stormy gaze with his own intense ice blue. "Please Obi-wan you gotta trust me I won't hurt you...I'm here for you."

"Uuungghhh ...yes " Obi-wan agreed "Yes you are...ok...I ...I trust you Xani.."

Taking a deep beath Xanatos pulled back the sheets and attempted to gauge the situation

"Ok Jemez what am I looking for exactly ..."

"Has the birth canal dilated to 10cm."

"Unn ..n..no " Xanatos mumbled trying to ignore the burning of his cheeks. He glanced up at Obi-wan noting a similar crimson blush across his face as well.

/ ya but he's in labour stupid..he's gonna be flushed/ though he suspected it wasn't all do to labor.

You'll have to wait Master, it may take some time for full dilation to occur then you'll _"

"Jemez...Jemez! " Xanatos exclaimed

"What happened..?"

"I..I lost..Jemez...the line went dead..." Xaantos gasped, feeling his guts twist..

_/ What do we do now...?_ / he felt Obi-wan's panic though their bond.

Hanging up the phone, Xanatos took a place by Obi-wans side letting the young jedi to lean back against him. As he wrapped an arm over his abdomen

"Why did you hang up ! ?" Obi-wan panted

"He must be caught in an area with poor transmission .Its ok Obi... Jemez said that its gonna take some time until your bodys ready." He soothed seeing the uncertainty in his eyes.

"I'm sure the connection will be back soon, we just have to wait it out... how are you feeling?" he asked rubbing the young man's back."

"Tired" he yawned

"Why don't you try to get some rest" he coaxed

" ..unngh.. it hurts ...please...stay with me.." he pleaded.

Xanatos ran his hands over the bulge, feeling the strong ripples running thru Obi-wans body. Laying down behind the young jedi he pulled him against his chest, spooning him close. "I'm not going anywhere" he murmured

* * *

"AAArrgghh ... oh force Xani! Aarghh" Obi-wan screamed throwing his head up and arching his back.

It had been almost 24 hours since the start of their whole ordeal, long hours of walking about the bedroom, laying on one side then the other, getting back up sitting back down and a constant pain that was getting worse. Sometime within the early morning hours after another bout of walking back and forth, Xanatos had lain Obi-wan back on the bed, lifting the covers to check the progression of things.

\\ **Ok he's dialated**. \\ Xanatos felt his stomach drop \\ **..what do I do now ?** \\

"Arrrgghh...Xani ! I have to push ...un...I have to!" He clenched his teeth bearing down. Xanatos winced feeling sure that the bones in his hand were now broken.

A voice of guidance whispered within his mind.

_/Don't try to stop him, push with the contraction he must, the hardest point this is, keep him going you must./_

Looking at the exhausted jedi, Xanatos nodded "come on Obi-wan, come on, just a little longer I promise..." he grabbed a cloth running it across the young man's brow.

Obi-wan kept his eyes close a moan slipping from him

/ **his fevers getting worse**/ Xanatos frowned, noting the berry bright flush on his cheeks had gotten brighter.

"Unnn..un...UNNNNNN.. " Obi-wan groaned louder his head thrashing back and forth. " Unnnn...AAArrghghh !" suddenly he opened his eyes wide "Xani...help! it's coming I can feel it."

"I'm here Obi-wan, right here" he tried to comfort the young man, reaching for a flailing arm only to have the jedi grab his collar and yank him down to his face.

"Get down there and get this baby out of me!" Obi-wan snarled pushing Xanatos to the foot of the bed.

/**hormones**/ Xanatos grumbled rubbing his neck

/ _I heard that! ...just get in there_..\\

/**so much for modesty**.../

/_I heard that too! ... Im still here you kn.._../

"Ooowww ..." he cried all anger falling from him as he turned scared blue eyes up to Xanatos. The dark jedi looked back, his own ice blue sparkling with uncertainty. No words were needed they understood that each had the others back. Xanatos gave a quick nod and took up his position, at the foot of the bed holding gently to Obi-wans knees, in silence.

He licked his lips nervously , "OK Obi-wan next contraction you push with all you got ..ok..?"

"Unnn...ok..." Obi-wan answered in a ragged breath. "Aahhh ...Xani...I ...unnn.. think its ..coming AAAAAArrrgghhhh!". He screeched as the contraction took him.

Xanatos leaned forward "now Obi-wan push push!"

The young jedi obeyed, his muscles straining as he began to expel the child from his body. Xanatos stared transfixed in a mixture of awe and horror as a head began to appear.

/ **..it looks like a wet wookie trying to get out an ewok hut !** /

/_XANATOS ! SHUT UP !_/

Xanatos shook himself back to reality

"Sorry...ok..ok Obi-wan you're doing great... you're...um...un..you're ...well the heads coming out" he shrugged

"Crowning...Xani " Obi-wan rolled his eyes. "Unnnnn..."

"This is it Obi-wan... I need you to give me all you got...one big push ok?...ok?...Obi-wan...?"

He glanced up to see Obi-wan with his head laying back on the pillows, shallow breathes coming from his lips, eyes closed as tears streamed out.

"Obi-wan please he begged taking the jedis hand "you gotta give me one more , just one more push.."

"I .. ..I can't... so tired...unn...hurts so bad" Obi-wan groaned. Xanatos grabbed the cold compress running it along Obi-wans flushed cheeks

"Please Obi-wan... Obi-wan !.."

The young jedis mind spun with fever and exhaustion. Memories of the last few years of his life, leading up to this point swam before his eyes. He cried out at the pain they caused him, thrashing on his childs birthing bed. Memories all leading up to this, this one most important event. And one thought surged through his mind above all the others and tore at his heartstrings.

/ _Qui-gon... why aren't you here...?_ /

Then the contraction hit full force, Obi-wan bolted forward partially thrust from his ramblings

" AAAARRGGHHHH!"

He felt a strong searing pain and bit down on his lip

/ _you should be here_../

"Arrrghhh!"

"That's the head ! Obi-wan come on! Come on just a bit more" Xanatos exclaimed

/ _why aren't you here_.._?_/

"Arrghh..". he cried as a shoulder slipped out.

"You're almost there". Xanatos's voice was shaking with barley restrained emotion, hands trembling as he held a towel and prepared to catch the infant as it entered the world.

"Oh..oh.. Obi-wan " he breathed as the second shoulder slid free, " Just one more..." he felt his stomach flipflop

/ **this is amazing.. this is awesome… this is..unnn**/ he cringed as his hands were coated with amniotic fluid / **…..I think I'm gonna hurl**/

Obi-wan took a great gulp of air and bared down with all his might, pushing with all the strength he had left.

/ _Qui-gon where are you?...you should be here_ .../

He felt the pain increase in intensity threatening to rip him apart.

/ _you should be part of this..._./ his thoughts spun, spinning about in anguish.

/_Where are you_../

"**QUI-GON?"** He shrieked . He suddenly felt the pain decrease and heard the plaintive wailing of a newborn infant before the world went black.

Xanatos flinched as he heard Obi-wan cry out his Masters name. /**In his moment of greatest need he called for Qui-gon...****after all this time...he still loves him**../ he thought sadly, feeling his heart begin shatter. He heard a high wailing coming from his arms.

"Shhhhh ... its ok...I"m here..."he soothed, as he looked down at the small squirming infant he held in a towel. He pulled the little one to his breast rocking the child till his cries ceased.

"Welcome to the world little one.." he murmured quietly as he began to clean the child up.

* * *

Obi-wan groaned opening a heavy eye " ..Xani..?" he croaked, looking up to see the raven haired man gazing down at him.

/ _Is that pain in his eyes..?_ \\ Obi-wan thought, blinking he looked closer, trying to get his eyes to focus. No, he must have been mistaken all he could see shining in the older man's ice blue orbs was endless concern for him.

"How do you feel..?" Xanatos asked in a quiet voice, hoarse with disuse.

"How do I look..?" Obi-wan whispered giving him a tired lopsided smirk.

Xanatos chuckled softly rolling his eyes "Believe me.. you don't wanna know"

"That good huh?" Obi-wan scoffed.

"I think there's someone who wants to meet you" Xanatos came up to sit at Obi-wans side passing him a small bundle, draped in a blanket.

Obi-wan felt his breath hitch, as he took the bundle in his arms and looked down into the peaceful face of the small infant. He felt tears come to his eyes and a surge of emotions sweep through him "Beautiful.." he whispered

"Congratulations .." Xani smiled, watching the emotions flicker over Obi-wan's face. "It's a boy"

"Oh Xani … look at him.., he's perfect.." Obi-wan crooned gazing with unabashed love at the small child nestled in his arms.

Xanatos looked on quietly taking in the short locks of chestnut brown hair, the shockingly white forelock and the deep stormy blue eyes. He felt a twist of pain in his heart.

/ **He looks like Qui-gon….. like the one Obi-wan truly loves**../ his thoughts whispered to him

" Ya… …he's…..he's perfect….." he finally mumbled, looking away.

Obi-wan could sense Xanatos's unhappiness.

/ _Why is he suddenly so upset..? …. Does he feel replaced_.._?_/

Reaching out, Obi-wan grabbed Xanatos by the hand as he attempted to get up and pulled the older man into an embrace

" Thank you …. I would have died without your help Xani.."

Xanatos gave a shrug, " I just…."

"You were there for me when **OTHERS** were not" The young jedi firmly stated. Xanatos looked up holding his gaze for a moment before nodding. They both knew who said other was.

" Ahh .. sooo … um… what have you decided to name him..?" Xanatos asked attempting to steer the conversation away from the awkwardness that was Qui-gon and his third wheel.

"I'm naming him after someone who means a great deal to me " Obi-wan began.

Xanatos furrowed his brow, / **Qui-gon?** /

Obiwan gazed down lovenly at the small infant, brushing aside a white lock.

"Myison…. His name is Myison"

Xanatos turned his head sharply "Myison..?" he blinked, giving the jedi a questioning look.

You have been **more** than a friend to me Xani… You took me in, you gave me shelter you gave me food, but what I love most was the small glimpse you gave me of the **real** you…"

Xantos looked at the jedi perplexed. Obi-wan smiled continuing " that night in your study, when you asked to sketch me, you weren't a business Mongol, a war lord or a sith… you were Xanantos and you painted with Myison, with hope…and now because of you I have my child, my Myison,..my hope…I thank you"

Xanatos felt the longing stir in his heart. / **Maybe there is a chance for us..?**/ He looked down at the infant cradled in Obi-wan's arms .

\\ **I guess the chestnut hair isn't so bad. He's got a shock of white from Obi-wan, not to mention the same stormy blue eyes and …!**/

"I don't believe it !" Xanatos gasped

"what..? what's wrong..?" Obi-wan asked looking at Myison with worry, trying to see what had gathered such an extreme reaction from the dark jedi.

"Oh you poor kid !" Xanatos exclaimed picking the bundle from Obi-wan's grasp and bringing it up to mere inches from his eyes as he scrutinized the child.

"What !" Obi-wan winced heaving himself up in the bed, truly terrified now as Xanatos turned to face him with a look of horror clearly written across his face.

"He's got the old goats schnozz!"

**To Be Continued ….**


	30. Confessions

The Rogue Jedi - Chapter 30

**Confessions**

* * *

The cool wind blew the long grass of the property, gently tickling the bare legs of a raven haired man as he worked intently on the device in front of him. From the shadowed recesses of the adjoining forest a pair of eyes glittered watching him intently.

/ _The savage beast spots his unsuspecting victim_…/

Xanatos stopped his work feeling as though he were suddenly being watched. He glanced about him looking around but couldn't find anything out of the ordinary and after a moment when back to his work.

From the bushes came a glint of teeth as lips pulled back to grin. Crouching low staying close to the shadows he crept forward.

/ _slowly he sneaks through the tall grass_…/

Xanatos shivered, he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched but could still see nothing around him to cause such a feeling. Turning back, he bent over the device once more and began to screw a bolt into place.

Suddenly a shadow shot from the bushes a growl sounding from his throat

/ _He runs, he leaps_../

"AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH! " Xanatos cried as he was attacked from behind and knocked to the ground

"AArrghgh help….. attack of the savage beast…! I'm done for !" Xanatos yelped rolling on his back and grabbing the small boy from his shoulders, lifting him into the air with his feet.

"were you scared…?" the small boy asked looking down at the man from over his boots.

"Terrified.. Myison… " Xanatos chuckled sitting up and placing the boy back on the ground.

"What are you making…?" Myison asked. Peering over the mans shoulder

"Well… I was trying to get this bike put together for a certain boys birthday…. Until I was attacked by a vicious slobbering monster that is…" he replied dryly.

Myison eyes went wide "For me ..really !... hey I don't slobber.."

"You sure..?" Xantos laughed at the glare he was given. " OK..ok…Well what do you think..?" he asked setting up a brand new bicycle in tones of lime green and dark blue.

"Wow ! awesome…I love it Xanatos !" he cried jumping into the dark jedis arms.

"What's going on out there..?" a voice called from the veranda. Moments later a young man with snow white locks sauntered down the steps and into the garden.

"Ona!" Myison cried running over and wrapping his arms about Obi-wans waist. The young jedi smiled grabbing Mysions arms and spinning him through the air before turning to Xanatos still sprawled on the ground.

"hmmm… I see the birthday boy has managed to find his present a little early" he eyed Xantos laying on the ground.

"Try keeping anything from that one and you'll soon find it's not possible" Xanatos shrugged.

"Well I came to inform you two gentlemen that things are almost ready and our guests will be arriving soon, Jemez went all out for the party so we'd better be on time for it."

"Alright a party!" Myison exclaimed. "Quaxo and Dendra are coming !"

"All the more reason to get going" Obi-wan reminded him. The small boy nodded and shot off into the house, not needing anymore encouragement.

Turning back to look at the older man still sprawled on the ground Obi-wan rolled his eyes, a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Are you planning on staying on the ground then…?"

"Hmmmmm" Xanatos mused giving it some thought, his eyes shut, a smile of his own coming to his face.

Obi-wan gave a sigh. " You know Guerra and Paxi will be there as well…. They'd love to see you.."

"I'm sure…" Xanatos snorted.

"They've come to like you Xanatos ….respect you…after all you did fight and win back the freedom of hundreds of workers . You've managed to turn the dark and corrupt business of Offworld into a **fair** and profitable agenda. You saved hundreds of lives."

Xanatos sat up looking out across the city that stretched before them. " …I destroyed hundreds too…." He mumbled. Obi-wan sat down beside him choosing his next words carefully, knowing that Xanatos was prone to the occasional bout of self-loathing when remembering his days as a sith.

"Yes ….you did….. But you helped put an end to it. Guerra and the others …..they _forgive_ you."

"They may forgive me ….. but …. I can't forgive myself.. not for what I did…not truly.."

"Maybe …maybe not….." Obi-wan shrugged, attempting to pull the man out from his funk before he dwelled on it too much and dug himself too deep. "But I know you now Xanatos… you're a kind and giving man.. and I know our friends here on Phindar and they respect you….and I know at this very moment there's a group of kids down there that think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread."

Obi-leant close to Xanatos, kissing him on the cheek. "Let's not disappoint them hmmm.?"

Xanatos chuckled, wrapping his arms about Obi-wans waist and rolling him to the ground.

"I think I might need a bit more motivation" he teased.

Obi-wan bent down capturing the man's lips. His mischievous grin once more gracing his features. "I'm sure I can help with that…" he purred close to the dark jedi's ear. His hand rubbing seductively across the broad chest

Xanatos's eyes widened expectantly.

"After the party of course….." Obi-wan added tweaking Xani's nose lightly before getting up

"Hmmph…. tease… "Xanatos grumbled, following his sultry tormentor.

* * *

.

.

"Ow" Xanatos yelped as several soft foam bats pummelled him

"Ahh… Help …help Obi-wan" he laughed tumbling to the ground as a wave of small children swarmed over him.

"Get him.." Myison cried, leading a group of children in the attack.

"Arrrhh attacking rugrats !"

"Do you give up? … " a small boy asked, grabbing a fistful of Xanatos' raven locks.

" Ya ! pray for mercy !" a young girl giggled.

"OH help don't hurt me…I beg you….I give up…. " Xanatos said feigning terror as he cringed on his back.

"What do you say …should we let him go..?" Quaxo shrugged.

"Nope!" Denndra and Myison shouted continuing their attack.

"Ow… hey I said I give up…yipe.. " Xanatos cried as he was lost to the pile of kids once more.

"He's just the same as always Obawan...not so I lie… he seems to have made a complete 180" Guerra said as he observed the dark jedi from where he stood talking with Obi-wan while the young jedi grilled burgers.

"Believe me Guerra he has… " Obi-wan smiled as he watched the raven haired man race about the lawn a small herd of children chasing him. Guerra gave the jedi a knowing smirk when he caught him gazing at Xanatos.

"What..?" Obi-wan asked

"Nothing …Not so I lie… it's just still a surprise to see you again Obawan … after all these years …all grown up….with your own little one …and" he hesitated "…with Xanatos. " Obi-wan gave the Phindian a warning look which didn't go unnoticed by his brother Paxi as he came up to join the two by the grill.

"Fear not Obawan…. You have been a good influence on Xanatos … for sure yes !" he added hastily ribbing his brother.

"Yes indeed.." Guerra quickly acknowledge d " I never would have believed it possible..but….ahh…" he rubbed the back of his neck shooting his brother an awkward glance "… aahh…"

"What my dear brother is trying to say is….that is to say…. What happened to Jedi-Gon….. ?

is…is he dead …?" Guerra asked quietly.

Obi-wan picked up the plates taking the food to the table before turning back to answer the brothers with a cool gaze.

"He is to me .."

* * *

.

.

"Come on Renni ," Ronka cried sitting down with the other children in a loose circle under the trees.

"So what are you guys doing for the talent show ..?" Quaxo was asking the group

"I'm doing a Coo-Ko ball demo with my dad" Dendro announced happily . " he's very athletic we're sure to win. What about you Hollat….?"

"My Dads a chef, were gonna bake the most amazing dessert and let everybody try it" he said proudly.

"Well my dad and I are gonna have the best show of all.." Renni cried jumping up to make herself heard

"We're gonna do a break dancing number like this back and forth and left and whoa!" The small phindian yelped , toppling over to land on Myison and Dendro.

"Not likely.." Ronka interrupted her "it's a father son show Renni you won't be doing anything .."

"Then neither will Myison.. he doesn't have a father…..unnnn" the young girls face went red "oops..I ..I mean…."

There was an awkward silence among the kids until Myison spoke.

"What's the difference …." Myison snapped getting up from his place among the group. "I have better things to do then worry about a stupid talent show …" he turned on his heel and headed over to the tables where dinner was being set.

"Poor Myison…" Hollat murmured

"Ya… " Dendro agreed, " It must be awful not having a dad…."

* * *

.

.

"Bye Dendro, bye Quaxo…" Myison called.

"Bye Myison.." they called back waving, happy birthday as they left the gardens walking down the path way with their families.

Myison watched them go , frowning as he saw Dendro laugh and talk wedged between both his parents while Quaxo cried in delight as he was lifted into the air by his parents each swinging an arm.

"Myison, it's time to come in.. " the gentle command of Jemez called to the young boy from the terrace.

"Coming…" he mumbled, casting his friends one last wistful glance before heading inside.

"Ah here comes the birthday boy.." Jemez smiled looking up from the dishes as Myison entered into the kitchen.

"Hey Jemez …" Mysion sighed flopping down in one of the chairs.

"I know that sigh…" Jemez stated raising an eye ridge as he turned to look at his young charge. "What is bothering you little one…..?" he asked

"Nothing I guess…" Myison replied. While he knew that wasn't exactly true, it was hard to put his melancholy into words, he couldn't figure **WHY** he was sad… his Ona loved him, they lived on a beautiful planet, he had lots of friends, he'd travelled the galaxy and Xanatos and Jemez were great companions. Why was he upset..?

"Would you like a snack?" Jemez offered.

"no thanks Jemez…" He pushed his chair out from the table. "Maybe I'll go work on my saber" he said, brightening a little at the thought of soon having his own lightsaber. Jemez nodded

"Your Ona will love to see it once you've finished."

The Alien servant had learned something of the jedi code from the teachings that Obi-wan had taken upon himself in training Myison. One such rite of passage was a young jedi apprentices building of their own lightsaber. Five months ago Obi-wan had taken Myison to the mining world of Bandomeer and there Myison, using the force as his guide, had picked out the crystal that would power his saber. It was anybody's guess what colour the beam would be. Over the last couple months the young boy had worked steadily on the device with any spare time he had between school and chores and of course Obi-wans jedi training.

* * *

.

.

"Uhhnnnn .." Xanatos sighed flopping down on the bed, the day had been fun, but brutal, being attacked by several sugar crazed children had its consequences. He winced rubbing a bruised arm as he tried to get comfortable.

" I must be getting old" he muttered, laying his head on the pillow.

"You've been old for years" a voice snickered from outside on the balcony.

"Hmmphhh.." Xanatos snorted getting up and walking over to the sliding glass doors.

"Comments from the peanut gallery are not needed" he replied dryly as he set down on the steps watching as Obi-wan came into view.

The young jedi leaped down from the roof, jumping from a crouch and spinning with a half kick to land next to Xanatos a bo-staff pressed lightly to the older man's neck.

"You're dead" he whispered pulling the staff back towards him.

"You're amazing" Xanatos breathed as he watched the younger man continue through the complex motions of the kata.

"I have to keep up on my training" Obi-wan replied doing a complete back flip and landing lightly on the edge of the pond. "even here on Phindar.. you never know when those jedi skills will be needed."

"That's true" Xanatos agreed

After the birth of Myison, Xanatos had deemed it safer for Obi-wan if they left Coruscant and got away from the shadow of the jedi temple. Obi-wan had readily agreed. Over the next several years Xanatos had worked hard to re-established his business, Offworld, into a profitable and fair company that gave benefit to all the workers. It had meant long hours, and at times, especially in the beginning, moving about from planet to planet as the need dictated.

Many times Xanatos had left Obi-wan with the care of Jemez as he went to work though the unending red tape of business, aware that constant travel and negotiations were no place for someone just post labor and toting a small baby. He'd accepted this though it had meant long periods alone in distant space ports .

Thankfully things had slowly stabilized and a few months ago they had arrived on Phindar and settled in. Obi-wans old friends Guerra, and Paxi had welcomed the young jedi back with open arms…. They had been somewhat cold toward him to start with, understandably, but Obi-wan had convinced the people of Phindar to give him a chance and he was now well liked by most of the inhabitants of the city. He and Obi-wan had definitely grown closer over the years and took great comfort in one another's company.

It still amazed Xanatos , the path his life had taken, several years ago he would have laughed if somebody had suggested his loving a jedi..and not just any jedi… but Obi-wan Kenobi…. Qui-gon's own ex apprentice.

Now he turned towards said jedi, watching as Obi-wan continued with his Kata, his subtle figure a work of art, seamlessly flowing through each move with the beauty of a deadly dancer..

_/ Poetry in motion_../ He sighed. He was roused from hi thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Come in" he called absently.

"Master Xanatos… Master Obi-wan…." Jemez nodded to them as he entered.

"I told you Jemez.. Obi-wan is fine.. really.." The young jedi said, coming in from the balcony, his saber powering down. He still wasn't use to being referred to by such a title.

"Very well Obi-wan " Jemez bowed.

"What's up Jemez..?" Xanatos asked.

"It's Myison sir…" The small alien began.

"He's not hurt is he..?" Xanatos began to get up from the bed.

No…no he's fine physically…but..he seemed a little under the weather just now down in the kitchen. " Jemz admitted.

"hmm.."Obi-wan frowned " he did seem a bit off today at the party .. "

"Did anything happen..?" Xanatos asked.

"I'm not sure…but I'll go have a word with him… " Obi-wan got up and headed out the door towards Myison's room.

* * *

.

.

Myison sat in his room tinkering with the device and thinking of what his Ona would say when he showed him the finished product.

/_ I wonder what colour it'll be …. Maybe blue like Ona's_…/ he thought picturing the bright majestic blue saber his Ona possessed.

/ _or maybe red like Xanatos'_…./ he saw the proud crimson saber of the dark jedi flash before his mind's eye.

/ _..or maybe it'll be the same colour as my Ada's…was_/ his brow furrowed / what colour had his father's saber been..?/

With a soft sigh he sat the saber down….there were just too many unknowns. He wanted to know something, anything about the man who had fathered him. It wasn't fair that everybody else had a father and he didn't. He pushed the half-finished saber back on his work bench, unable to concentrate on it. Getting up he when back down stairs and out the backdoor down into the comfortable escape of the gardens. He stayed in his private solitude, watching as the sun began to set, until the opening and closing of the back door caught his attention.

" Myison" Obi-wan called, walking through the garden "Myison..?" He looked under the table , beneath the bushes and in and out among the trees he knew his son loved to play in.

"_Squeak"_

Obi-wan glanced up, looking over at the swing set next to the flower bed to see a small boy with his head down dragging his boots through the sand as the swing went back and forth.

Holding back a sigh, Obi-wan walked over and took a seat on the swing next to the young boy.

"Hey" he said softly, looking over at Myison

"Hey"

"Myison.. I love you …..you know I love you. Please tell me what's wrong?."

When the young boy didn't say anything , Obi-wan tried a different approach

"I can feel your sadness Myison. Today at your party.. you were not yourself.. I know something's bothering you …..and has been for a while. Do you want to talk about it?"

Myison stared at his boots, trying to figure out how to say what he felt when he saw the other kids, what it felt like inside, the knawing sensation in the pit of his stomach , a want so bad that it hurt ….. and the jealousy that went with it. But mostly the emptiness of not knowing , …not knowing the reason why. He looked up into his Ona's eyes

"Why don't I have a father like all the others ?" he asked. Obi-wans eyes widened with surprise. He'd been expecting these questions to come eventually, but it didn't make the task of telling Myison any easier . The truth would hurt him, even if it wasn't his fault.

"Did my Ada die?.. " Myison asked. "Did he go on a dangerous Jedi mission..and never come back..?"

He saw the pain in his Onas eyes and felt his heart sink a little.

"Did….did he not want me… ?" he asked quietly.

"Oh..Mysion.." Obi-wan sighed "Come, sit with me" the jedi replied setting Myison on his lap.

"There's something I need to tell you, but before I begin I want you to know that no matter what you may think, whether you ever meet your father or not, I love you and none of this was your fault .." Myison nodded looking up at his Ona, he stomach flipping.

Obi-wan settled himself comfortably on the swing taking a deep breath "Years ago, when I was a young jedi padawan, I had a Master, a man named Qui-gon Jinn, he was a great jedi knight….. and despite the odds against us… he and I fell in love. We travelled many places throughout the galaxy, on missions trying to bring peace to the systems that called on our aid. Then seven years ago during a peace negotiation on a planet called Naboo, I learned that I was expecting a child…". Obi-wan took a calming breath , holding in the emotion that telling the tale was threatening to cause him.

"The mission went awry.. we came under attack and were almost killed. Eventually we found ourselves on an outer rim planet called Tattooine. It was there that Qui-gon met a young slave boy named Anakin Skywalker.

"Your father and I ..we…" Obi-wan sighed "We ..had many disagreements over Anakin until at one point he struck me to the floor in a fury.." Obi-wan swallowed wiping a tear from his cheek.

"Did..did he hurt you..?" Myison asked , disbelief in his eyes, his young mind painting an image of a huge monstrous man beating his Ona to the ground.

"Yes …and no" Obi-wan whispered almost to himself " I wasn't really hurt physically, but he broke my heart, my trust…. " He let his chin rest atop Myisons head "I was so worried for your safety. I fled the temple…fled the planet all together…. Xanatos found me after I was injured on a desolate planet. He nursed me back to health and helped me deliver you….." he smiled down and gave the young boy a kiss to his brow.

"But didn't Qui-gon miss you?…. Didn't he want me…want us…to be together?" Myison asked.

"Qui-gon never knew about you sweetheart, after he began training Anakin, I'm afraid he had no time for me or what I wanted to tell him….I was not missed and you were not known"

Mysion slid from Obi-wans lap and sat back onto his own swing. "My Ada …he sounds like a bad man"

Obi-wan opened his mouth the protest, he'd tried to keep the story neutral, he didn't want Myison to be poisoned by the emotions he felt towards Qui-gon.

"No Myison..no…Qui-gon..he…he was a good jedi…a great jedi.. he just wasn't a very good bond mate"

"Maybe….. you and him would still be together …if you didn't have me.." he whispered looking miserable

"Mysion look at me" Obi-wan stated firmly. "no matter what happened between Qui-gon and myself I have always loved you. …I will always love you….. sometimes parents fall out of love ..it wasn't your fault Mysion… Qui-gon and I …we…we just fell out of love."

Myison nodded, kicking a small pebble on the ground.

"Could you fall in love again?…..maybe with somebody else…" he asked

"Well …yes " Obi-wan began hesitantly " ….I ..I have …"

Myison's head shot up "really?…." His eyes shone "…Is it Xanatos? ! " he gasped looking up at his Ona with pleading eyes " Please say yes….. Xanatos is awesome !"

Obi-wan was a little taken back by the boys enthusiasm "Yes Myison, he certainly is…" Obi-wan replied blushing "but these things take time …"

"Do you love him .. ?" Myison exclaimed. Obi-wan looked up at the moon feeling a pulling sensation in his heart when he thought about the raven haired man.

"Yes…" he replied wistfully .

"Well why can't Xanatos be my father then..?"

_/ he practically is anyway_ / the jedi thought. He smiled looking down into the expectant face of his son. A smile gracing his lips, the boy could be stubborn when he wanted.

"I'll give it some thought " he answered at last ruffling the boys hair, knowing how much they both hated that. Myison grinned feeling better knowing that his Ona loved Xanatos as much and he did.

/ _maybe soon I'll have a father_…/

Obi-wan got up from his perch on the swing set, calling to Myison as he started back to their quarters

"Come on you it's time for bed, you're up late enough as is"

"Awwwwwwwww… it's still early" Myison argued walking to catch up with his Ona.

"You still need to have a bath" Obi-wan chided him gently.

"But I had one the other day…" he groaned

"Ahh that's the thing about baths they tend to be a repetitive routine". Obi-wan stated giving a mischievous smirk. "Come on" he held out a hand as they made their way up the stairs.

* * *

.

.

Xanatos sat staring out the window in his bedroom, the days celebrations had been enjoyable , but even they couldn't completely push the brooding thoughts from his mind. His latest business negotiations had helped secure the freedom of many beings within the outer rim slave worlds. This large step hadn't gone unnoticed by the business worlds big guns. Many brother companies had been openly hostile to Offworlds sudden humanitarian interests

/_But they can be dealt with_/ Xanatos thought. There was another more pressing matter that bothered him. A summons from Coruascant, in the form of a congratulatory acknowledgement by the grand counsellor Palpatine himself. Xanatos sighed he knew he couldn't very well turn down a request from the senate. But he knew Obi-wan was not going to enjoy returning to Coruascant.

/ _not to mention Mysion….he's happy here on Phindar_/ Xanatos thought.

He was still pondering over these thoughts as Obi-wan walked into the room dressed in sleeping attire.

" Hey" he smiled.

"Evening Obi-wan.. " he grinned. Trying to be nonchalant .

Obi-wan turned to look at the older man "Xani.. ? what's wrong…?" he asked picking up on the others discontent immediately. Xanatos stifled a chuckle at Obi-wans ability to figure him out so quickly. They'd grown so close the last several years it was impossible to keep a secret from one another for very long.

Xanatos groaned, sitting up on his bed.

" I received a summons from the counsel of Coruscant. I am to have an audience with Counsellor Palpatine. Most likely over the recent …..ahhh modifications to Offworld's practices."

Obi-wan nodded understanding lighting in his eyes " I see" he said quietly . "Then we have to go back…"

"No Obi-wan ….I have to…but you and Myison don't have to, you can both stay here …. We've only been here a few months but Myison has made some friends and …you… you're happy here with Guerra and Paxi" He began " I can handle this alone…"

"No Xani,.. you have no idea how long you would be gone….or where you would be needed next. No …I admit I don't like the idea of going back ..but…. " he leaned close snuggling into Xanatos' chest and giving the older man a deep kiss. "I go where you go now…I walk where you walk . Back when Myison was small we didn't have a choice, I had a baby to tend and you had to go away for weeks at a time to deal with the business of Offworld. Jemez and I had to manage. There were many lonely nights Xanatos.. .."

"Believe me Obi-wan…I know.." Xanaots whispered, pulling him close.

"but now it doesn't have to be that way.. " Obi-wan insisted "Myison can travel with us ,and you don't have to be alone any longer… .. and besides" he smiled " I would hate being without you."

"Like wise Obi-wan" he gave the jedi a kiss back relishing the warmth of jedi's body pressed against him.

"I'll tell Jemez to start packing in the morning then " he settled himself back down on the bed.

"So…how's Myison…?" He did seemed a bit out of sorts earlier is he ok..?"

Obi-wan sighed setting down beside him. "Yes…just one of those inevitable life lessons rearing its head …"

Xanatos cocked an eyebrow at Obi-wan…" he can't be asking about the birds and the bees yet …can he…?"

"No , thank goodness.." Obi-wan snorted, he sat quietly for a moment before Xanatos rubbed his arm

"Come on Obi-wan what's up.. ?" he looked the jedi straight in the eye.

"He wanted to know why he doesn't have a father…." He said softly, fingers twisting the bed spread lightly.

"A father..?" Xanatos looked up at the jedi.

"Yes Xanatos….. I can't say I'm surprised … the other kids all have fathers… he's bound to be curious as to why his isn't here." Obi-wan sighed getting up and pacing the room

"Oh…." Xanatos' face took on a look of understanding.. "So you've had **'the talk'**"

"Yes" Obi-wan muttered.

"How did he take it….?"

"I think he pictures his father as a fire breathing monster… but he seems he more concerned with simply having **A** father not necessarily **HIS** father"

Getting up from the bed, Xanatos wrapped his arms around Obi-wans slim waist nuzzling into the jedis neck.

/_Do you think we should tell him? You know about us …?_ / he asked leaving a trail of kisses up Obi-wans neck.

_/ Eventually...but there's no need really _/ Obi-wan gave his mischievous smirk _/ He thinks you're the perfect candidate for the role of father_/

"And…am I…..?" Xanatos asked quietly looking into Obi-wans eyes

/_What do you think …?_/ Obi-wan asked his eyes doing the talking for him.

/_I don't think I know_ ../ Xanatos countered his own eyes simmering back with sincerity.

"Xanatos " Obi-wan abolished the older man cupping the his chin and tilting his head towards him "Let's face it, you've been his father since before he was born whether we admit it or not."

Xanatos nodded giving a half shrug of agreement and causing Obi-wan to roll his eyes in amusement at the sudden show of shyness from the man.

"But if it makes you feel better.." He pulled the older man into another kiss, "I think he's right" he smiled settling them both under the sheets in bed. Xanatos let loose a purr of contentment as he turned off the lights nuzzling into Obi-wans neck. The jedi ran his hands lightly along his spine before caressing them through his long raven locks, letting his finger nails gently scratch against the man's scalp. After a few moments of passionate groping Obi-wan suddenly stiffened. His hands still ensnared in the raven locks grasped hold of something unexpected and the young man chuckled.

Xantos..?" he whispered. Trying the grab the attention of his bedmate.

"hmmm?" Xanatos mumbled too intent of the jedi's collar bone to form an articulate response.

"Xantos." He whispered more forcefully, gaining **most** of the man's attention.

"wha.."

"You have cake in hair….." he snickered.

"Sigh.. Obi-wan" he muttered dryly " I have cake in places I didn't even know I possessed "

"Really..?" Obi-wan feigned surprise, causing the older man to look on in a pallor of lust filled confusion.

_/ He's cute when he's muddled_/ Obi-wan thought.

/ still _best not leave him hanging too long_../ He leaned forward with a sensual leer

" well… it's a good thing I like cake then….isn't it..?"

Xanatos's eyes widened and he nodded mutely, feeling the younger man snuggle close. Obi-wan lay his head against the strong chest and feeling the steady beating heart beneath him.

" I love you Obi-wan" He breathed

" I love you to Xanatos." He answered.

All was silent for a few moments until a pair of ice blue eyes shot open with surprise to gaze into the stormy blue eyes of Obi-wan Kenobi staring down on him, a wicked grin fixed on his features.

"now…about that extra motivation…?" he crooned.

* * *

.

.

To Be Continued….


End file.
